Ask Lemmy

“Welp, I’m going to get hard at work”

Umm... Yeah, that TOTALLY never actually happens to me either.

Im stealing these.

I used to say not the sharpest cookie in the jar

My mom was fond of "Not the brightest egg in the drawer".

In a similar vein, "not the sharpest spoon in the drawer"

Good pull. Malapropism has always been one of my favorite words and comedic devices, so this is good info. Bravo!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go read an article about the Women's Lubrication movement and eat my hot astronomy on rye.

See also as related:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen

A mondegreen (/ˈmɒndɪˌɡriːn/ ⓘ) is a mishearing or misinterpretation of a phrase in a way that gives it a new meaning.[1] Mondegreens are most often created by a person listening to a poem or a song; the listener, being unable to hear a lyric clearly, substitutes words that sound similar and make some kind of sense.[2][3] The American writer Sylvia Wright coined the term in 1954, recalling a childhood memory of her mother reading the Scottish ballad "The Bonnie Earl o' Moray", and mishearing the words "laid him on the green" as "Lady Mondegreen".

and

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism

A malapropism (/ˈmæləprɒpɪzəm/; also called a malaprop, acyrologia, or Dogberryism) is the incorrect use of a word in place of a word with a similar sound, either unintentionally or for comedic effect, resulting in a nonsensical, often humorous utterance. An example is the statement attributed to baseball player Yogi Berra, regarding switch hitters, "He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious",[1] with the accidental use of amphibious rather than the intended ambidextrous. Malapropisms often occur as errors in natural speech and are sometimes the subject of media attention, especially when made by politicians or other prominent individuals.

I can't believe you got such a simple saying wrong. It's not rocket surgery.

No, the bridge is too well-guarded.

I like "we'll burn that bridge when we come to it"

I usually go with “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it”

Arguably, a mechanic who is literally performing maintenance on exceptionally mechanically dense and complex parts of a rocket, say the rocket engine plumbing or wiring harnesses... is figuratively performing rocket surgery.

Now, that one does have its place. I either it in an ironic sense that you dont need multiple degrees to do something. The flip side is that the people we send to space tend to be the most qualified people in multiple fields, a medical surgeon with a stem degree does not sound too far outside the realm of reason.

I'm a rocket sturgeon

That is a common urban myth.

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/147902/is-the-alleged-original-meaning-of-the-phrase-blood-is-thicker-than-water-real

I like, "get two birds stoned with one bush" as some bastard amalgamation of "kill two birds with one stone" and "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

You could and you should!