this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2024
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The former President's plan to bring water to the California desert is, like a lot of his promises, a goofy pipe-dream.

In an apparent effort to address the pressing issue of California water shortages, Trump said the following: “You have millions of gallons of water pouring down from the north with the snow caps and Canada, and all pouring down and they have essentially a very large faucet. You turn the faucet and it takes one day to turn it, and it’s massive, it’s as big as the wall of that building right there behind you. You turn that, and all of that water aimlessly goes into the Pacific (Ocean), and if they turned it back, all of that water would come right down here and right into Los Angeles,” he said.

Amidst his weird, almost poetic rambling, the “very large faucet” Trump seems to have been referring to is the Columbia River. The Columbia runs from a lake in British Columbia, down through Oregon and eventually ends up in the Pacific Ocean. Trump’s apparent plan is to somehow divert water from the Columbia and get it all the way down to Los Angeles. However, scientific experts who have spoken to the press have noted that not only is there currently no way to divert the water from the Oregon River to southern California, but creating such a system would likely be prohibitively expensive and inefficient.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Let him. Why should we do the intellectual work of disassembling his bullshit only so the campaign can come back with what they actually mean. Just let him sound stupid.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

We had this bullshit in Arizona too. The state GOP is convinced that Flagstaff is hoarding water somehow. That if Flagstaff just stopped hoarding water then Sedona wouldn't have any trouble. For the uninitiated, Flagstaff has what rains and that's it. It's as water stressed as the rest of the state because people won't stop moving there.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Uhm.

Ok. He should not be in charge of the executive office. We know he's stupid but, damn.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This isn't an idea, or even a promise. Trump thinks that there currently exists a faucet that could divert the Columbia River, a river he does not know exists and would probably think is in Mexico somehow, and that the faucet is purposefully moving water to the ocean as a way to spite the residents of California going through a water crisis. His only promise is that he would turn said faucet to eliminate the water crisis. Why are journalists ascribing so much intelligence to someone who has consistently bragged that he thinks at an 8-year old level?

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

There's a flood control gate somewhere around Vancouver, is that what he's talking about? It's a bit bigger than any wall though...

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

No, he is talking about a faucet because he doesn't understand any of it. There is no faucet. He's dumb. Move on.

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[–] lady_k 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s definitely an intriguing idea, but it seems like this "faucet" plan might be more complicated in practice than it sounds in theory. Getting water from the Columbia River down to Los Angeles involves not just massive infrastructure but also overcoming significant ecological and legal challenges. Plus, as the experts pointed out, it's pretty costly and inefficient. While addressing water shortages is crucial, perhaps more feasible and sustainable solutions like improving water-use efficiency and investing in desalination plants would be better routes to explore.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Columbia runs from a lake in British Columbia, down through Oregon and eventually ends up in the Pacific Ocean.

The Columbia does not run through Oregon, it is the northern border of it from just south of Kennewick, Washington to the Pacific Ocean. The only US state that the Columbia actually flows through is Washington, which makes sense since the river starts in Canada, which is north of Washington, which is north of Oregon. Odd choice of verbiage.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

The Columbia is the border between Washington and Oregon. Cross a bridge between the two states and you will see a welcome to Oregon/welcome to Washington sign in the middle of the bridge.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Without the Columbia, the Idaho port city of Lewiston is doomed. Just in case anyone needed a silver lining.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

~~promises~~

Deranged ramblings

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Can't wait for the next forest fire in Canada and Trump to suggest a big fan to blow the smoke away from the US.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Just switch all our wind turbines from suck to blow. Easy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Assuming we could actually create enough air flow to blow smoke out to sea, we'd be creating one hell of a weather phenomenon in the middle states.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I don't know why this triggered my brain but I can't stop imagining this in my head and laughing my ass off.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

He’s such a fucking embarrassment. Someone needs to stop putting microphones in front of his hamberder hole.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I love that Trump has no ability to do any critical thinking, and thinks of everything as very literal now. He believes the planes are actually invisible, the only way to prevent Forrest fires is to actually rake the forest, and now that a literal giant faucet would be used to divert water in what kinda sounds like a Roman aqueduct to Socal.

I also agree that journalists should not be spinning Trump's word salad, that makes zero sense, by calling them "poetic" and then trying to explain what the hell he is maybe trying to say. He is running to the President of the US, if he can't explain how he wants to use plumbing to divert water from the Columbia river to Socal he should be asked about that over and over until he can articulate that. Journalists doing the heavy lifting of making real ideas out of Trump's babble should be looked down upon. Instead they continue to "both sides" anything left of the far-right.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Is this faucet from the same company that will sell the takes to sweep up the leaves in the forests to stop forest fires?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My favorite type of incoherent gibberish is the type that might be trying to talk about a terrible idea.

Politicians keep talking about building pipelines from places that have water to places that don't.
Maybe the answer is actually that California isn't the best place for agriculture once you get past the easy access to migrate labor, and they should price industrial and agricultural water usage accordingly.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Next you're going to term us farming the desert is a bad idea. We'll I can't hear you because I'm covering my ears. So nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

Trump also said: the faucet is made by ACME and managed by my good friend Wile E. Cayote.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Oregonian, here. We need that water to flush our absolutely gigantic toilet so California can't have it!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

That explains Drain, OR. I always wondered what the actual drain looked like!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

So you're saying trump has to decide what is more important, California or being anti low flow toilets. RIP California.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

And we can solve the problem of climate change by going to the opposite side of the sun and turning off the Enormous Fan, thereby eliminating the solar wind.

[–] [email protected] 172 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I guess it was gradual, but when did it become the job of journalists to try and guess what politicians mean when they make statements? Shouldn't the meaning be made clear by the speaker? Right now it seems like its:

Trump: Speaks rambling gibberish saying something about a faucet

Journalists: "It seems like Trump is talking about the Columbia river and here's why that is significant..."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

News Readers in USA have been paraphrasing a long time. Now "paraphrasing" works really hard.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Goes double for whether or not he's serious. The number of times I've heard something and have had a legitimately hard time telling if he's joking, or exaggerating, or just a complete fucking moron is absolutely crazy. Pretty much every sentence he utters becomes this endless game of trying to figure it out. It seems like his base just kind of randomly picks the option that makes the most sense to them and rolls with it.

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[–] [email protected] 137 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

This is what "sanewashing" refers to, if anyone was unclear on that.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

“sanewashing”

The media is rightly concern that MAGA will have a fit if they tell the truth so they go full Onion. We have reached the point of, "Idiocracy", but here we are.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

Oh I like that term. Will be applying it in my life. Thank you.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

The difference is he could be the next president and try to turn whatever he's thinking into national policy, so it's worthwhile to try and dissect what he's saying.

But those experts are also (somehow, still) not really accustomed to Trump's bombastic language. He was like this long before he got into national politics, hyping real estate and business for the market (where it kind of worked). That's a totally different world, where half lies and crazy sales talk are the norm.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The problem is, he has no idea about policy and really no interest in it, except when the decision obviously benefits himself, or benefits those who pretty directly benefit him. So whatever he's saying at this point is just stuff he thinks sounds good. It bears no relation to what he'll do, except where there's obviously something in it for him and his associates. That's why "I'll take vengeance on my opponents" or "I'll increase fossil fuel use and suppress green technologies" are the kinds of statements to take seriously from him, but "I'll sort out your water problems" is not, unless we can find a benefit for him in it. The question to ask is, "Is he saying this because he thinks it benefits him to say it, or because he thinks it benefits him to do it?" (And for him, making people he dislikes suffer counts as a benefit.)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

This does benefit him if it gets him votes. He wants voters to like him, and he'd absolutely build this crazy pipe and slap his name on it if he could.

But like you said, he'd drop it like a rock if it's inconvenient.

Unlike other politicians, Trump accepted there's no real consequence for making fantasies up and almost lying, just like he did in business.

“Is he saying this because he thinks it benefits him to say it, or because he thinks it benefits him to do it?”

And anyone who's on the fence about Trump is not thinking critically like this, they are looking at a few things he's saying and pondering if its a good thing and benefits them.

And again, fact-based news journalism does not have the luxury of assuming "Here's what we think he's saying, and we think he's making that up because it benefits him, so it's probably nonsense."

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I get what you're saying but they really should just be pointing out that he's not making any sense. Trump's speeches are being treated like Nostradamus' prophesies now. He spews a bunch of nonsense and people make up what they think it means. The guy should be in a home, not on the campaign trail and the media should make that clear to voters.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

It's not totally incoherent though, its vague and almost poetic.

This is kind of Trump's talent. He makes these grand statements that aren't quite lies. The crowd gets exactly what he's trying to say: all this water pouring out of snowy mountains into the ocean is a "waste" when it could just be diverted to LA, so let's fix that. It's worded almost like a dream. It's an attractive fantasy. But it's also vague, not quite enough to be a lie even if the implied facts are straight up wrong.

What can the news do? If they dig into it, he didn't really make any hard claims to roast. They can veer into opinion talk and say that sounds unpresedential and that his speech should be more clear, but making fun of his speech style at a rally is not supposed to be their job. So they do what they can, guess what he's saying and refute that.

Again, this was his talent before he got into politics. The Motley Fool did this great podcast on Trump (before Trump was big and political) where he sold massively overvalued real-estate from his private company to his public one, effectively "duping" the market, and it worked because he sold it as a vague fantasy just like this. He got plenty of criticism and it didn't matter, because he threaded the needle and what he's claiming is not hard enough to stick. This is what he does.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago

The worst part is they nitpick any piberal or progressive candidate on their exact phrasing while translating conservative hate speech into something less horrible.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago

It takes a day to turn

He really said that

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Anyone still supporting this human shaped STD has herpes of the brain.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I disagree. He is not human shaped.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

honestly even just saying "shaped" is a bit of a stretch

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He's a single-celled organism and I live in fear that one day he'll divide by mitosis and then we'll have two of him

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I'd imagine it would be like RimmerWorld episode of Red Dwarf where none of them stays in power for more than 15 minutes before being back stabbed and taken over by another.

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