this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

additional damage

Not if it breaks in half after hitting Doomsday on the head.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

the passenger and drivers are crumple zones.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Does Superman often throw cars at people? Why throw a car when a punch does more damage when you're Superman? Hulk would, but that's just because he likes to throw and smash things, not because he's being logical about it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

also for hulk there's a range aspect, he should be able to throw cars further and faster than he can jump. superman can fly almost instantly everywhere.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

Because cool (but yes it's silly)

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I mean he could just punch them, but if there is a Cybertruck around he should absolutely go for the car instead.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah it's always funny to me when Superman looks around for something softer than his skin to smash people with.

Bro, you can tank a train hitting at full speed and not flinch, what are you doing?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

yucky humans, who knows where they have been!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What about the collateral damage it causes when it explodes after being thrown at the bad guys?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

*Bonus damage.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I can't envision an scenario where Superman would need to throw a car at someone. He has laser eyes and anything that can tank that or one of his punches could easily withstand a car.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago (3 children)

And that's why you don't think when Superman solves something, he's nearly as fast as the Flash, he could have half the city's crimes taken care of in a few minutes without worrying about a random inconvenience that trips up the Flash.

This penny arcade comic shows it well enough.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Wow their comics do weird stuff on mobile

This is my fault for being on mobile like a filthy casual 😔

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

I feel like this is robbed by the perfectly valid objections in the second panel not really being answered by "throw into the sun."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

Critical hit, then AOE damage from the batteries igniting.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

Mmmm... crumble zone

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Not sure if typo or honest mistake in your title but just in case:

Cookies crumble (break into smaller pieces).

Sheet metal and/or aluminum foil crumples (crushes / becomes creased).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's funny, my brain scanned right over that, I could've sworn he said crumple because I expected crumple

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Might have seen it if it wasn't followed by "zones". I read it the same way. The brain fills in context, sometimes without looking close.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I dunno. Cybertrucks probably would crumble in a crash. Or a minor fender bender. Or just sitting there in a parking lot.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Just give them time to rust. A few minutes after a light rain should do.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The sides falling off was in the news wasn't it?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Front fell off too. That is typical, mind you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

We should tow them.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 days ago (3 children)

i wonder if Superman was ever sued for destruction of private property for doing something like this.

I want a semi serious legal drama comedy regarding those kind of things, and thinking about it, she Hulk could have been that show. dealing with things like that lawsuit from the incredibles, or that superman case...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 days ago (1 children)

im pretty sure the govt of the world probably had a law, that excludes superman, or any other superhero from liablities of collateral damages.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

at the same time, there should be laws and a duty to minimise damage to a reasonable degree.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

There was actually a 1950s issue where someone sold Superman insurance.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Action_Comics_Vol_1_346

Synopsis for Superman: "The Man Who Sold Insurance to Superman!" An insurance salesman sells Superman a policy guaranteeing $100,000,000,000 against his death or disappearance from the Earth.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

That's a lot of 1950s money

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

I paid that much last week for Burger King.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago

Sounds like Harvey Birdman needs a reboot

[–] [email protected] 115 points 5 days ago (2 children)

... goes to pick up the truck and rips off the front quarter panel .... takes another hand hold, rips off the front end .... take another hold, wheel just easily comes off ... gets frustrated ....

.... crumples the whole thing into a metal ball and throws it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Or wads it up into comically oversized metal boxing gloves.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 days ago

came to write this comment.

That trashheap of a vehicle would be useless as a throwable object.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Teleport man teleports into the middle of the Battlefield.
"Guys, just chill for a second - we really don't need to do this in the middle of a packed city. Hang tight, I'm gonna take us elsewhere..."
Teleports behind Darkseid, touches his leg and teleports him to the Moon. Teleports instantly back, and teleports Superman there too. Both Superman and Darkseid have barely had time to register their surroundings.
"You're welcome."
Teleports away.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Superman and darkseid can both react retroactively, unfortunately. They are both faster than causality.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

at first it was superman, than darkseid, than TRIGON, and then all powerful " christian like god"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

faster than causality.

teleport man can literally teleport through spacetime

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Guy gets from point a to point b instantly.

Superman gets to point b before ge leaves point a.

This guys feats are ridiculous. He is faster than the speed force, he can lift infinite weight, he can hear instantly thousands of lightyears away through the vacuum of space, he can punch backwards through time or into other universes or even through his own comic panels. Also, im not positive, but im pretty sure superman can teleport. And darkseid killed him.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

Teleport man can teleport back in time before he teleported. Yeah his reaction speed aint great, but he's definitely got causality on his side

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Comics were the original shounen power creep.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

Nah, that was the Bible, when Yahweh and El did their mega-fusion

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 days ago

In case you want to use this for your homebrew games at home, you can take the stat block of a rusted bastard sword.