this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I'm going with Danny Devito! That fuck would straighten out the church. He got good morals. He just a nice guy. What about you?

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[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bill Burr would be pretty funny I think

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[–] yesman@lemmy.world -1 points 1 month ago

I think Bill Maher should put his name in the hat. I know he's atheist, but he got on his knees for Trump, so maybe he's willing to give Jesus a fresh look.

[–] kubok@fedia.io 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] DirigibleProtein@aussie.zone 2 points 1 month ago
[–] theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Satan. I'm pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Accountability.

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Adam Savage

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.

[–] CaptainPedantic@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it's possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Lucien Greaves

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 19 points 1 month ago

The pope goes by AD&D druid rules. The new pope is the guy who killed the previous pope.

So it's J D Vance.

[–] Sixtyforce@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Gang Bankrupts The Vatican

theme song

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Screw it, I'll be the pope if that means I can release the records on their pedo priest protection program.

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cue Musk with his lottery for votes.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'd vote for Elon Musk as Popeking of Catholicism.

The same way Elon "improved" Twitter and the US Government, I would love it if he did the same for the Catholics.

[–] Lasherz12@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Elon can't be trusted with a literal sovereign nation, but I guess between The Vatican and US... What's he gonna do with it, harbor predators?

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Probably purchase nukes and then become another North Korea.

[–] RangerJosey@lemmy.ml 29 points 1 month ago

Vermin Supreme.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"You're the pope?? I didn't vote for you..."

  • Benjamin Franklin, probably. Or whoever it was that said "Not everything quoted on the internet is real"

Honestly I don't care (well, beyond making this ~~pope~~ post), as I am not catholic. I am technically a protestant by heritage, but the truth is that I find even the term "agnostic" to be too religiously loaded to the point where I usually refer to myself as areligious instead.

As for the pope. Well, he's... there.. well, not right now. But he will be soon-ish. I'll just accept whoevers named announced while venting smoke from the cardinal thunderdome as being the new pope. And then he'll be there again.

Beyond that, he doesn't affect my life in any way. Nor do I affect his life in any way. Unless he accepts my challenge to an offroad and uphill car race. Yes, he's gonna have to drive the popemobile himself for this. I'll be driving my new AWD Lolvo. I'm sure it'll be fun for anyone involved, no matter who wins.

But having said all of that: I think Robbie Coltrane would do well as a pope.

[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 14 points 1 month ago

The pope elections always last long cause every man always votes for himself. Just like the pirate king of brethren court

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 month ago

Roman, probably. Maybe Kendall.

[–] squirrel@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago

Thomas Ladder, the guy who invented that thing

[–] Lembot_0002@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Trump! Make Trump the new Pope. That would be hilarious!

[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do you think that is why JD Nonce was in the Vatican? To force the Pope into announcing Trump as his successor?

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I heard he was there to kill him. Hence his death shortly after.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

All the pope had to do to live was say thank you, but he didn't.

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