this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I'm going with Danny Devito! That fuck would straighten out the church. He got good morals. He just a nice guy. What about you?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The guy who's already two thirds pope. Popeye of course! Popeye for Popey!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Pope Ringo George

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I vote for whomever Francis had on mind (hopefully he discussed that before passing).

There's little chance of getting someone as decent as him.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Yes he had one candidate, if I understand correctly: Luis Antonio Tagle. He has a vision of a church adjacent to the poor and the working population in general though he seems regressive on LGBTQ. But going by the sign of times, it'll probably be Raymond Burke. I suppose Vance visited the Vatikan to pave his way.

Personally I concur Danny DeVito would totally be the man for the job. He would gonna get real weird with it and he certainly doesn't diddle kids.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Bernie Sanders. Christianity spun out of a Jewish apocalyptic sect, so why not, in some very small part, bring it back toward its roots?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't know much about him, but he's always seemed super cool. I'm down with a cool pope.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

He didn't get to be Spider-Man when it was age-appropriate and people were buzzing about the idea. I feel like Pope is a good consolation prize.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Eckhart Tolle. I personally think he has a neurological disorder but he'd make life better.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Gilbert Gottfried

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

John Oliver

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Deadmau5.

The tapes of some of these Catholic hymns are getting kinda worn- let's get some fresh beats to liven things up. And a laser lightshow in St Peter's Basilica would help appeal to the "hip youths" ensuring a continued Catholic hegemony for the next century.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Leaning towards Cardinal Pietro Parolin - Cardinal secretary of state.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

420 Blaze It

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I'm thinkin' Father Guido Sarducci will come outta nowhere and sprint to the win.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

Justin Trudeau

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm votin' fer yours truly. I'd make a kick-ass pope. 😤

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and vote for you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Resurrected harambe

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

I am nominating myself, being as I am a Discordian Pope.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

I see what you did there.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I think we should reelect Francis.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

No no no. You aren't allowed to elect dead popes, just prosecute them.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

We just gotta set up one of those WH40K Golden thrones for him!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Guarantee they have something that's already halfway there tucked in a warehouse.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I thought the crowd favorite would've been Luigi, though I have no idea what the requirements are for being elected Pope.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I'd vote for him

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Be male Be a roman catholic Get enough cardinals to vote for you

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

For each of these requirements there's at least one Pope who didn't meet them.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

So you're saying Luigi has a chance?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Dang I might have to change my vote

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