I was studying computer science then, and I’m working as a software engineer now, so probably just as expected. Probably thought I would have gotten married and had kids younger but otherwise life has been…boring
this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2025
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I can make it on my own?? I can’t believe you have your life so well put together. I like cats better than dogs now?
We'd probably not get along very well. 19 y/o me though he saw the world "logically" and that everyone else was wrong. He saw emotions as a weakness, and interpreted the world as black and white. To him everything seemed clear cut and simple, and everyone who didn't agree was an idiot.
Seeing nuance and accepting emotions as a valid argument to anything are not things he'd accept. Accepting that people who think differently are not completely stupid might not go well with him. And, without getting into details, I don't think he'd agree with the current situation. He wouldn't be surprised to see me work as a programmer, but his black and white thinking wouldn't gel very well with the reality that most companies aren't exactly "good" causes.
"Yeah you probably should have jumped off that bridge".
Her??
Mine would say: What? You're working with finance people? WTF? Traitor!
But if I explained it a bit more, I reckon they'd be pretty into it, and kind of impressed.
She would be absolutely stunned. Probably wouldn't believe me. At 43 I'm married to the guy I was dating at 19. At 19 I had dropped out of college and thought I wanted to be an artist; at 43 I'm already retired from a successful career in academic research. At 19 I had no thoughts about politics or the world as a whole (9/11 hadn't happened yet); at 43 I'm pretty informed and opinionated. And she'd probably be surprised how much I'm into the outdoors, healthy living, and weightlifting, given that she had negative interest in those things. The rest is pretty consistent - e.g., I've always loved music from the '60s, fun nail polish, scifi, swimming, and handmade art (drawing, beading, etc).
Fuck yeah. Sounds like a great trajectory!
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Probably;
- I’m proud. You proved everyone that you were able to do everything, they said you could not (education-wise).
- Don’t be afraid to change jobs, get the one that’s better for your future.
My 19 year old self would be sad and hopefully take a different path.
I can't believe we pulled it off holy shit we are good.
"What kind of career strategy was 'go with the flow', old man? Oh, but it worked out ok? Good to know."
Bahaha, this for me too, so much.
Probably a fair bit of middle class white male privilege in action for me - I've got a lot of community and family to be greatful for.
Wait so I still get to do this as a career? And I’m considered an expert in the field?!?
Yea that makes sense about my knees and back hurting.
No video games? You used too be a real nerd, man, now you're just another normie!
"Stable life despite most dreams being crushed? Ok, that doesn't sound bad... Shouldn't have stopped drawing? Wait, you're teaching kids how to draw as a volunteer and liking it?? That was unexpected."
They'd probably be worried that I had gotten sucked into the interminable rat race, and wouldn't believe me when I said I had found a way to be comfortable with it. I used to have panic attacks about the idea of entering the normal workforce and ending up in a job situation like my father did. Love the man, but he prioritized "providing" for the family over being present, and burned himself out doing it. I can see the nuanced differences between that and my situation now, but I never would have back then.
They wouldn't believe that a relatively modest life could cost so damn much of what I take home. I make money that would make my 19yo head spin, and it's still not enough to be as comfortable as I would like.
They'd be furious that I let my strong friendships of the time slip for over a decade.
They'd be worried about my weight and how far my general health has tanked. Walking everywhere and doing manual labor jobs had made it easier than I realized to stay healthy back then.
They'd be confused that I'm a decade into a different romantic relationship. That might cause them to more carefully examine the one they were in at the time. I'm not sure if cutting it early would have been better for me though. I learned and grew by years in the span of a few months when that relationship was dying.
Oooh yeah. Break-ups can turn out to be wild growth phases sometimes, if you're paying attention and approaching it in a useful way.
T.T
What do you mean bitcoin?
"Oh shit I'm a girl?"
Like, you were completely unaware of it at that point, or you just didn't think it would happen?
I knew something was wrong but I didn't put the dots together until my early 20s. I'd definitely had "I wanna be a girl" thoughts as a kid/teen but wasn't super aware that being trans was a thing so shoved them to the back of my brain and allowed myself to just kinda feel broken instead.
"I knew it, when do I get to start hormone therapy?"
Things are going mostly according to plan? Can I give advise? If so it would be buy stocks as soon as possible bitcoin/doge with skyrocket so buy that as well as sp500. Sell everything the day trump wins the 2024 election. Then buy the big dip in late Feb
You read the question backwards (you weren't the only one :/ )
If I can explain now to past me then why can't I pass past me information from the future?
You could do what you like, but that doesn't answer the question
We haven't seen the big dip yet.
I meant to say late April that's my bet but we will see.
19 year old me would say "lmfao, how are you still alive?"
"You were right and the guidance counselors were wrong."
I have no memory of what mine said... But yeah, in my experience people who start out one one path and switch on to a totally different one often seem like more interesting and well rounded and happy people. I imagine guidance counselling would often be nearly impossible. At least in the sense of suggesting a career path - I guess just answering questions could still be really useful.
I just wanted them to place me better classes. They were convinced I would be happier, or more likely, their job easier, if I was placed in all remedial classes. This is despite testing advanced proficient for science and average for math and despite my grade school recommending me for advance placement for science.
I was never interested in talking to them about career paths or any of the other "American Dream" lies. I wanted to do something good for the world with my years in college. They fucking hate that.
Wow, that sounds like some bullshit. I'm in Aus, and though I said I can't remember it, I feel like it wasn't that completely useless here. Or maybe it was for some.
Maybe that's because "the Australian Dream" (if it exists), is going to the beach and drinking beer 😆
I'm about to be 46 and finally starting to figure out this "adulting" thing so things are going okay at the moment. My 19 year old self would probably say something like "wow I can't believe you're (I'm) doing good." As long as I don't mention the last 2 decades of fuck ups I think I'd be impressed with myself.
Take the first management promotion; turn down the rest. It's not worth it.
I clearly worded this question in a difficult way. You're not the only one who understood it backwards.
I think I understood the question; you weren't asking what advice we'd give. My response was in way of an oblique reference: what am I doing and how would I explain it? I'm not doing what I like to do, and younger me would be sad. But I couldn't avoid giving younger me advice to avoid the path.
Ah, I see. I rest it as your now self giving your younger self advice
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I was trying to get into university in America, failed and got into one in Japan two years ago, so probably this:
World's falling apart, huh? Really dodged a bullet there. Also can't wait to be quadlingual.
"Fuckyeah!"
Then I'd elaborate on what it took to get here.
"Shit...."
But at least Mia hasn't been part of the equation for decades.
"Phew"