“How can you possibly live your life and not care what people think? Impossible!”
It can be done, 19 year old me. ☺️
this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2025
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Don't bother
"you're still alive? You own a house? You're dating a divorced mom and her and her daughter moved in? You have 4 cats?"
I was really depressed and had undiagnosed ADHD. I genuinely believed that I wouldn't make it to 30. I was sure that my life was going to end at my own hand. I also didn't think I was worthy of love or that I'd ever find a woman who I could have a relationship with.
So yea, my 19 year old self would be very surprised that I exist at all.
"im gonna be pretty?"
"Bull. Shit."
So I'm 30. At 19 this time of year I was on the verge of accepting that I'm a trans woman (i thought I was nonbinary [yes gender] and never coming out). And yeah today I'm in the process of moving to a blue state with my wife.
19 year old me would mostly be shocked I want to live tbh
Heh, sounds about right.
He'd ignore me then yell "I knew it! I'm going bald!"
"Thank you for warning. I'm leaving right now to make sure [name removed] is not able to enlist".
My friend was killed by the United States Army.
19 year old me would say "ah so you didn't get into that university that offered industrial design eh? But I like computers so a software job is okay. Also sort of living the dream of being in a cool part of town but you aren't really taking advantage of it."
"So we're still a fat fucking loser. Great. Nice cat though."
Are you in my house?
damn, maybe I should stop smoking weed and stay in college
We are still on course just with a unplan sidemission with our boyfriend
"... Wait, that's a job? I don't understand."
What is your job?
I'm a research analyst. I write research about technology, give advice to companies about it, and present at conferences in person on it.
You figured out what to do in life and landed a nice career? Nice!
You're still single? That really sucks.
Our family blew up? Dad's gone? Oh...
At 19, it was right before a rough few years. My parents went through a messy and drawn-out divorce that I was dragged through the middle of, and ended with my dad dying. Those events helped me figure out who I was and ultimately led me to where I am today, which is in a pretty good spot, but it was a terrible price to pay.
I'm just surviving, dawg
I lost my dad (whom I was very close with) at 15, and my mom made my life extremely hard and confusing after that... I think I'd be mostly happy at how seemingly well-adjusted i am.
I'm objectively well-off, but turns out i care far more about non-financial things.
Dude, you get your weed delivered to your house from a legitimate pharmacy and you can legally smoke it, everything else doesn't matter, Ohh yeah and that dickhead dad of ours gets kicked out, we never see him again and we get to be fucking awesome, oh and finally, you're 2 years away from owning the greatest dog you've ever met who becomes your legitimate best friend, she lives 15 years and they were amazing years with her.
"Non-bina-what? Don't know about it. But let's focus on the real information please. We don't play League of Legends anymore? What do we play with our friends then? ... we left our friends because they were idiots? WHAT? HOW?"
Oof. There are some feels there.
My 19yo self would be very excited to see the enby hottie I've become, wholly unsurprised to learn that I'm still with the partners I was at the time, and very worried about what could have happened to destroy my faith in singularitarianism.
I'd have to go back to 10yo me to find an egg. Parents divorced the year before, and I was still devouring the local library for fun because we didn't have internet yet. Little-Me would have incessant questions I wouldn't be able to answer without violating the trans prime directive, but I do deeply wish I could have had just one enby role model back then so I wouldn't have had to spend my first puberty in denial instead of on puberty blockers.
You're earning how much? (Well, inflation is a bummer)
You're taking dance classes without being forced? WHY?
You have how many cats? Man are they cute!
I don't believe a word about your relationships and sex life. And shame on you, if it would be true!
A lot of time has passed since I was 19 and looking back at that 19-year-old dude, he would have the hardest time understanding how I got to where I am now. If I could, I would try to beat some sense into that guy, which might have made things along the way easier.
He'd be disappointed that he doesn't end up doing anything epic and world-changing, but then he'd immediately be relieved that he's mostly got shit figured out. Wife, home, job, driving, cooking, all the basic stuff.
Then he'd realize he only thought he needed to do something epic because he couldn't picture himself having those basic things figured out. This would take him a few minutes to process, so he wouldn't say anything.
Young me: WAIT GAMES ARE 3D?! Holy shit 2025 must be awesome
Not young me: Um.....
"nice, we're on track"
"Still?"
They'd say: "oh shit, give me some of that methylfolate, please."
"Huh."
Early 30s now. I've been on this path since I was 18, so I guess I'd be happy to hear that I stuck with it. I'd probably also be disappointed to hear that I'm actually kind of bad at it.
"Sounds shitty, have you considered suicide?"
Younger me was depressed, pessimistic, arrogant, and very much so an asshole with selective hearing. He would only hear the parts of what's happened that fit what he expects to happen.
And despite quite a few negatives over the last decade or so, I've managed to do pretty well for myself.
He'd probably also tell me to lift with my knees. I had to do some heavy lifting at work yesterday and now my back's sore.
Young me would be proud how much i know about tech and what in capable of. Young me would not understand I'm not and internationally wanted slick underground hacker with a few million dollars stashed away. Young me would see my company and not understand why I am not a millionaire yet, he did not have a concept of things taking time. He would also ask howiI. Haven't kicked the wife out after constant problems with sex for 10 years plus and taken all three kids. "You love her?! You weak piece of shit. The kids need a mother? Yeah maybe, but you haven't gotten any for over a year for the fourth time in a decade dude, you are a looser."
That last half... didn't see that coming
X)
Younger me was really depressed, like clinically and so caught up in himself that I think he'd hear me, but not actually listen to what I'd have to say. And I don't totally blame him, he was very confused and hadn't really figured himself out yet.
I think he'd be surprised but also unhappy with the direction of my life... But he'd be unhappy no matter what since he still hadn't figured out how to beat his depression and make his own happiness.
Plus he's not only stubborn but also secretly a bit arrogant and needs to fall on his face a lot to learn lessons. His failures will be his greatest teachers. The fact that he even can fail will be very hard to accept but very needed as well.
So overall, I don't expect his reaction would be great. But I also can't see myself wanting to give him any advice nor do I really care what he would think... Actually I would tell him to lift with his knees and not his back more, properly show him how to do it too.
Ooh yeah.. I as lucky enough to have a parent with back pain, so paid attention early on how to avoid it. Still got a sore back though 🥲
Are you fucking kidding me?!
Damn, I really should have thought about these responses before I posted this question. My inbox is flooded with comments that are kinda anxiety inducing, until I remember the context 😂
Oh lol that would have been hilarious if it happened to me, but like after the fact... Well after the fact lol
Hiking is fun, really?
Still loving programming - makes sense.
Still no significant other yet - alright I guess, too bad though.
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