overview for OceanSoap

I used to love it. I was obsessed in the early 2000's. Then I went to college for animation, and learning about how that all works absolutely ruined all enjoyment for anime.

Series [and also serious]: What's a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) tool you found useful? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Huh, I might try that sheet planner myself, thank you.

The one thing that helped me a lot was just my therapist explaining to me that my mom was an adult who made her own decisions about her own life, and It wasn't my responsibility to fix her problems because of her decisions that she kept making

She's a huge enabler of my adult brother to the detriment of her own life/wellbeing, and I was so fucked up over not being able to help her in any way. Just that explanation was enough to get me to breathe functionally again.

People who gave up on "the dream", do you regret it? How are you? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

My dream was the stereotypical actress one, but I never had the confidence to really go for it despite people telling me I'd do well.

Honestly, I regretted not doing it for a span of time, but everything I've learned both about the industry and me as a person since then made me realize that it probably would have made me miserable, even if I'd "made it."

The price of fame, to me, wouldn't have been worth it. The fakeness of Hollywood, the constant networking/having to deal with people who have a whole host of personality disorders that make them seek out that job, a life constantly being looked into, the persisting pedo problem, the Harvey Weinsteins, etc... I enjoy acting, it's super fun, but I'm glad I went a different route.

I'm a substation designer now.

Going on my first super long haul flight - what can I buy to make it more comfortable? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

An isle seat.

Before you get on your flight, get a bottle of water and chug it as fast as you comfortably can. Have another one to drink throughout the flight. This keeps swelling of your hands and feet down. You'll have to get up and pee a lot, which is why an isle seat is a good idea, but you'll be so much more comfortable during and after the flight.

You are given an opportunity to hard reset our universe (particularly, the Earth). You are also allowed to change one rule about the new universe. What rule would you change? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Humans are peacefully with each other and only wage war against aliens or animals threatening to kill them.

177

Lemmy, how do you deal with heartbreak? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

76 comments fedilink

Finally found the man I thought I would marry, but the breakup came out of nowhere and I'm struggling to cope. What are the ways you've dealt with heartbreak in the past?

87

Hey Lemmy, whats the scariest thing youve seen an animal do? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

56 comments fedilink

Any animal.

0

Should I (38/f) tell my best friend (37/f) that her decision hurt my feelings? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

4 comments fedilink

One of the good things about lemmy is that I'm positive my friend won't find this post.

Hey lemmy. My best friend and I have been close since we met back in high school, circa 2002. We lived a few blocks away from each other, kept in touch across the country during college, and even lived together for a few years after college. We've traveled overseas together, been through many break ups together. She was a solid rock for me when my fiance and I had a traumatic split 4 years ago.

She got married legally two years ago, and their wedding is finally happening this upcoming spring. I've been so excited along with her. We've talked our whole friendship about being there for all the fun stuff for our weddings, and I've been doing all the maid-of-honor stuff since she asked me to be hers.

She was initially depressed about dress shopping since she assumed no one would be able to go, including her mother, who has really bad travel/directional anxiety. We're all in different states.

I asked her why she would even think that I wouldn't fly out to go dress shopping with her, since we've been talking about it for ages, and I love clothing shopping! She said she thought I'd be too strapped for cash, but I'd been saving up for her wedding stuff, so it's not an issue. We set the date for November and a she invited another long-distance friend from high school and I've been looking at tickets to get out there.

Anyway, I was planning to reach out to her mom and fly in to her state to fly with her to my friends state so she wouldn't have to worry about making her way there with all her anxiety, but today I got a message from my friend. Her mom and stepdad are visiting her area this weekend for an extended family member's birthday, and she and her mom decided they would "pre-look" at wedding dresses today, "just to get an idea of whats out there" and wanted to know if I'd feel left out if they did that.

My heart sunk when I got the text, because I knew that her mom probably was trying to combine dress shopping for this trip so she wouldn't have to take another trip out again so soon. I messaged back saying no I wouldn't feel left out, but did that mean dress shopping in November was canceled? She said no, that it was still on. I was a bit relieved, but still worried. I gave the okay, because of course I can't say no, that would be supper immature and inappropriate.

Of course, she found a dress she wanted, and I was left out of the whole experience. She video called me at one point for a very short while, and sent me photos, and I tried my best to be happy and give good advice and opinions, but it's not the same, and I wasn't part of most of it. (She didn't go for any of my advice, but I'm not hurt about that - video and photo representation isn't the same, and my advice might have been totally off from what I would have said in person.)

Anyway, here's the thing: this isn't my wedding. My feelings don't matter. I realize this in my rational mind, but I'm still incredibly hurt. I definitely wanted to be there for these types of moments for her wedding.

I pretended not to be hurt though, because I really don't want to stress her out in any way when it comes to her wedding. I don't want in any way to be someone she looks back on and remembers as a source of stress or drama during this event. I realize that her mother brought up the idea and pressured her to do so because of her own travel anxiety, and I'm not mad at my friend for jumping at the chance to look at dresses with her mom when she could - just in case her mom pulls out of organized plans last-minute. I'm incredibly close to my mom, so I'd definitely want her there when it's my turn. I get it.

Still, I'm hurt. I just don't know of I should tell her so, or if I should keep pretending I'm okay. What's done is done, she has her dress. Is there any point in bringing up my feelings at all? Or should I just swallow it all up and hope I work through the hurt privately somehow? I don't like hiding my feelings and lying to her, but I feel like telling her would do more harm than good.

If you've gotten this far, I appreciate it.