“Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created? …here on Earth?”
this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
1 points (100.0% liked)
Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition
2896 readers
20 users here now
Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.
Right now, here’s the rules:
- Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
- It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
- No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.
How to tag:
To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz
Here are the current tags:
- Edited - The image was manipulated with editing software.
- OC - You made this cursed food yourself!
- Meta - Relating to the community itself.
Finished checking out all the posts here? Also checkout [email protected]!
(BTW, I’m looking for someone to help mod here! I myself would not be enough if this community goes beyond a few posts a day.)
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Growing up with food ideas like this might explain some things about boomers.
I feel like a lot of postwar US cooking could be explained by the following facts:
- A Americans lived through the great depression
- All Americans lived through world war rationing
- A huge portion of Americans grew up in a world where things like refrigeration, grocery stores, etc didn't exist.
The end result was the food equivalent of giving a thirteen year old from the 1990s a smartphone for the first time. Just pure disgusting excess with no real rhyme or reason.
I've had a little theory that post war American food is universally terrible due to everyone smoking and destroying their taste buds. Stuff starts getting better in the mid 90s when smoking rates start noticeably dropping.
Especially with coffee. People used percolators for years. You know how bad percolator coffee is? So bad that when Mr Coffee came out, it sold for about the same inflation adjusted price as a modern entry level espresso machine. It went into high end restaurants and people thought it was amazing.
I don't know if this fully works, though. Much of Western Europe had higher smoking rates for longer, and the food isn't so shit.
My guess is a combination of this and all of the lead everywhere
The "Serve with mayonnaise" got me at the end... I held it together until that point. Why was everything served with mayonnaise?
Shit like this is why meat eaters are not convinced going vegetarian isn't a conspiracy.
This has to be fake. No one would combine these.
Post war cooking was wild.
My Silent Gen mom was an awful cook. Casseroles every damned night, same shit over and over again, zero tolerance for creatively changing a recipe. I could see her finding this recipe and serving it over and over again.
I hope that "chef" spent the rest of their life in prison.
This is just an episode of ~~Can't Cook, Won't Cook~~ Ready Steady Cook, where one of the contestants has brought in some prunes, cottage cheese, donuts and a lettuce.
I can already hear Ainsley Harriott getting unnecessarily excited.
(Edit: sorry, got my Ainsley Harriott cooking shows muddled up!)
Don't forget the mayo mentioned in the last line.
Made me literally wtf out loud...like before that ehhh ok no but then Mayo???? Barf
can't choose the right ainsley meme face.
https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=ainsley+harriot+meme&iax=images&ia=images
you do it
This one:
If I drive home from the supermarkt with some baby leafs in the trunk, does that qualify as a human-car-salad? And would that be still be legal or count as attempted (self-)cannibalism?
Adding lettuce does not a salad make. If I chop up some tomatoes and cover a cheesecake in ranch dressing, is it a salad? No, it's a crime against God and man, and restitution must be made.
I like cheesecake enough that I would wash that off in the sink and eat it.
I love how fast and loose this plays with the definition of "salad".
It used to mean any meal served cold. Later versions were encased in gelatin for better preservation, which contributed to the later post-war jelly salad recipes.
My wife's grandma makes "pretzel salad", which is crushed pretzel sticks that are tossed with a mixture of margarine and cream cheese, I think, then baked until crispy then crumbled.
In the meantime, cream cheese, maybe whipped cream?, sugar, a few other onesies and twosies, and canned shredded pineapple are mixed into an unholy slop.
Then, when is time to serve, the crumbles are mixed in with the slop and there you go. Salad.
Is this a side for a meal, or a dessert?
I believe it's a dessert
Right? Cover a fucking donut with mayonnaise, serve it on a single leaf of lettuce - boom, salad.
Can't wait to see a black forest gateau salad.
I'll stick to meat and potatoes, thanks
The recipe actually started off halfway decent until the donuts and mayonnaise lol
It definitely sounds like some classic 1950s cooking... The only things missing are maraschino cherries and cut up hot dog weiners
Then put the whole thing in a jello mold.
It started with prunes and cottage cheese. That's already bottom of the barrel right there.
Hey cottage cheese is fantastic. Not as an ingredient though.
And still not a salad lol, more like a dessert.
"then cover everything in aspic"
Serve with mayonnaise.
😂 There's a kind of innocent madness in this "recipe" that makes me happy.
making the mayo optional was the only mercy to be found in this recipe.
Keep in mind, some dude in the 50's probably came home to this expecting meat and potatoes. Say what you will about "traditional marriage", but I'd only wish this travesty on the worst of the worst.
This absolutely screams "I was zooted on lithium when I came up with this" 🫤