Ask Lemmy

I want to outlive this shitty marriage I'm stuck in, sort out my finances, and take back my own life. I'm sick of being called a fucking cunt or accused of hiding money or all the shit he's saying to me, none of which is true. He's a malignant narcissist and I'm so tired of living like this.

Just about every single attempt to self-terminate stems from a systemic flaw or imbalance in the fragile human form. Pretty much always treatable. What seems logical now might seem silly later. Don't let irrational mentality run your life or your death.

Also, there are people who oppose you. Fuck those people. Your life ending would benefit them, therefor you can never die.

A good cup of coffee.

Because we need you to help make world a better place to live.

Plus you'll miss cat videos.

Science, pancakes, art, philosophy, cats.

Spite, that's what your enemy's want. Don't give them the fucking satisfaction!

¡Think of the society that would crumble if everyone that was an impoverished wage slave ended their life! If even so much as a third to a fifth of the world's population did it, everything would be ripping apart at the seams pretty quick.

There are so many ways to be a hero for those around you. Why end your life when you could dedicate your life to help those in need? When you feel at your lowest, remember that there is someone, right now, who wants to know and believe in you and who hopes that you could do your very best to help them and others.

This is intended to be motivating. Instead of leaving a hole in the world, you could become a role model for others.

I think the Orville has a good way of putting it.

For me it's new Silent Hill games. Also the hope that one day i'll have friends and a partner. It might help if I left the house. Anyway, at the very least don't give up before you've really tried. Maybe I'm projecting but I hope this helps. Please don't kill yourself if you're thinking about it.

Furry blankets. Great advances have been made in blanket technology in the past few years. Buy a couple synthetic microplush blankets that feel like rabbit fur and cocoon yourself in them. Always helps me. Even if that doesn't work for you, have hope! There is the hope that blankets may be even softer in the future.

Also, have you tried mushrooms?

I actually do support the idea that we have a right to end our lives on our own terms.

But, I would say to anyone asking this question that there is so much good left undone in the world that they could make happen.

If you can, don’t end your life. Donate it.

Baked goods

My pets depend on me and I love them.

I don't know any

I'll go with what I call the nihilistic safety valve: suicide is a deliberate act, which means you care how your life ends. It then follows that you care too much about something.

Simple: death will come, it is a guarantee you get by being born. So, unless your life is hell (diseases can do that easily, including mental ones) and it clearly won't end (or anyway not before you become broken beyond repair), why not see some life before it ends

I'm not going to pretend it's a good answer because it cuts in many directions, but the following has been my thinking on this:

Because if you have nothing to live for, you have nothing holding you back from taking massive risks. Take the massive risk over your own life. Suicide can come later, once you've done something risky and cool first that requires a meatsuit. As far as we know you only get one of those, and there's far more than you might think that only requires one of 'em and infinite risk tolerance.

Not comfortable with the risk? Why, if you have nothing to live for? Tease that out and you can work in the other direction.

there might be some media that'll come out that you're super into. Or like, you might see a friendly dog outside

I see it as the height of cowardice. If you feel like your life is truly worthless, that it has no value at all, you're wrong. You can always give your life fighting for a cause you believe in. I continue to live, continue to train, because I wish to die on my feet in battle. If you're an American like me, I've a feeling that battle will be coming very soon. If you aren't...well the world's a pretty violent place right now with fascists rising everywhere you look. I'm sure you'll find a good moment to fight back. Who knows, you might even survive to win, and could change your world enough that hope can live in your heart once more.

My backlog of games.

What's been keeping me going for 20 years is VR. I truly believe we'll see full-dive VR in the next 30 years. I've been watching the progress for decades and the progress is staggering if you look at the big picture. Someday I'll be able to plug into a fantasy universe fully and slay dragons and have epic fantasy adventures. That's worth holding out for.

I just want to lose my virginity... lmao. And then next best thing would be to have an actual relationship with someone instead of the abusive one I have with my alone time hand.

There's always the next MCU movie coming out! You can grab a cheeky nandos afterwards with that one friend you've kept in touch with from school - but don't spend too much! Need to keep up on the mortgage for the new build starter home with astroturf lawns you are locked into paying for for the next 25 years.

Maybe this will finally be the year for sports team to win something!

If you take your own life, things will never get better. It's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows if you don't, but it can get better. Ending your life removes all possibility of any good thing ever happening. But you'll never find out if you're not here to see it.

It's a dark take to have, but it's just not worth it to cut the wire here. It can be hard, and things may seem bleak, but as long as you're still here, there's still a chance for life to get better, it often does, and it's a chance worth fighting for.

It's easy to be caught in the here and now, but you can't predict the future even if it feels like it. Take the time you've been given and use it. All ending your life will do is end the chance for better things.

The other thing is it's not a release. Religion or not, whatever your beliefs, there's no sudden wave of freedom, or drop of stress. Overwhelmingly reports of someone who attempted or was brought back end with them regretting it or not wanting to give up at the last second.

Life is precious, not because it's good or because there's some holy significance to it, but because you only get to do it once. You can fall in love again, find friends again, join communities, see the sun, help the world, help your neighbors, play video games, whatever. You can always do those again.

But you only get to live this life one time. Fill out that story until you run out of pages. Don't leave the book half finished. If you're alive, there's hope.

I can think of two reasons.

First reason: because things can and probably will get much better. Joy in life comes from the little things. That sounds cliche but it's true. If I could talk to my 14 year old self, who was severely depressed to the point of trying (and thankfully failing) to take his own life, I would tell him about the next 20-ish years. Even though much of it will be hard, it will still be good. And he will grow in ways and get to experience things that he can't even begin to imagine. That's one thing I'm glad he failed at.

Second reason: because believe it or not, you will leave a giant crater in the life of someone (or multiple someones) where you once existed. My great grandpa hung himself in 1929. That's all I know about him aside from his name. I never met my grandpa (died of cancer) but I remember my dad telling me a little about the impact it had on his dad, who was about 15 at the time of his father suicide. Long story short, my grandpa basically stopped growing emotionally at 15. He was a teenager who was very suddenly thrust into the role of an adult.

I don't know what was going on with my great grandpa that led him to take his own life. I do know that what he left behind was a disaster. Including three generations of trauma, manifesting itself as a cycle of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. He effectively destroyed his children who proceeded to pass that destruction all the way down to me.

If you've never watched Ted Lasso which I highly recommend, one of overarching themes is Ted's difficulty dealing with his father's suicide, which occured when Ted was 15. It's a light hearted show overall but there are a few scenes that really hit right in the feels.

Even if you don't have kids, there are people who's lives will be permanently altered for the worse by your untimely death. Some will blame themselves, wondering what they could have done to prevent it.

I think my baseline for existence would be continuous pain and immobility so as long as I'm doing better than that I'm in the + column for remaining alive and embodied. I can walk, read, eat and drink, fuck, work, hear, see (kind of), touch things, listen to music, dance... Not gonna be able to do any of that without a body. So in the selfish way, I want to be alive to enjoy all that, it's well worth the pain of existence to me.

In the unselfish way, I know the difference between losing an old relative to old age, and a younger relative to suicide. The former doesn't hurt, you know they got a good run, can celebrate their life. The latter can really shatter the lives of everyone close to you, in a way that causes grief so lasting and physically and emotionally damaging. I wouldn't do that to anyone.

No one knows what happens when you die, things could get worse after death and in that case suicide is not a solution but rather a next step towards something even worse.

Given that it is currently impossible (as far as I know) to know what happens at death, the decision to suicide is an uninformed decision of tremendous magnitude.

If by killing yourself things get worse, what would be the next step?

Would you be in a better position to turn things around in the afterlife (assuming that there is one) or now in this life?

In summary, the reason why you should not kill yourself is because you do not know what will be the result of that action your death: your death is not a guaranteed solution to anything.

My mother would be truly devestated, and I don't trust people to take care of my cat the way I want.

My best friend ended his life nearly tw o years ago. I am still mournig and feel like I will never get over it. I cry at least once a week.

Because bad times dont last for ever!

Because things will get better.

Taking action takes effort.

Life ist the only dramedy about you you'll ever have, so might as well experience that and with a little bit of Yolo attitude!

That next great show is only like 5 years away