this post was submitted on 29 Feb 2024
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In some 2000-10s comedy, "bish, make me a sandwich" is a common punchline. It begs the question, what goes in the sandwich?

As a follow up, how does that differ from the sandwich you might make for yourself?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Hmm, I am the better cook. But assuming we have the materials, a roast beef sandwich with sharp cheddar and horseradish, on rye.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Easy for the lesser cook, satisfying, and with quite a flavor profile for sliced meat, bread, and a single condiment.

I might add some mayo, but that’s subject to how good the horseradish is.

Well played.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

My partner's favourite sandwich is cheese and honey. I don't do savoury and sweet at the same time. No partner sandwiches for me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

The Elvis melt!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I've only ever heard the phrase when a random internet dudebro was trying to show off for their imaginary friends by insulting me for being a woman.

If this thread is for men only, please amend the title. If it's for everyone, amend the text to acknowledge that for half the population it is not a punchline, it is an insult.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Are you looking for a reason to be insulted?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Knuckle.

Edit: you don't think that attitude deserves a knuckle sandwich?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Whichever one I've asked for from the local sandwich shop. He probably could make a sandwich at home but I'd have to carry it into the living room to eat anyway, so I'd just make the sandwiches!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

I love her, and she's a great cook, but she never eats sandwiches or sausages and is helpless at making either.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

2 slices of spelt bread, toasted, ( the real one, not colored wheat), miracle whip with a dash of German mustard, thin roasted pork, real Dutch Gouda, thin slice, a bit of salad (optionally with a few thin pieces of beetroot), 2 small tomatoes on the side with good salt and a bunch of mixed freshly ground pepper (red, white, black) on the tomatoes, comes with it a large cacao. There you go.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So particular about real this and real that, and you use miracle whip?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Only REAL Miracle Whip

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I would be happy for a simple grilled cheese. Pretty hard to mess up, tastes great, quick. Best comfort food! 🙈

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Y’know…. It’s finally been enough years from a certain dirt poor era of my life that sounds really damn good.

There was a time when I swore off them entirely because it was about all that was in the cupboard for a brutally long time. But yeah, starting to sound really interesting.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Ham and cheese with mayo or PB&j. Just super simple.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

And I'd be happy for a partner.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Honestly, I don't. Because I make them better.

My GF is awesome at many things, some of them includes food. But when it comes to sandwiches I am simply better at making them precisely how I like them.

And this is where i started a "having said that...."-sentence with the intent of describing the elaborate process of making me the perfect sandwich, but I realize that I can't be arsed typing it all out. Peace.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Honestly, I don’t. Because I make them better.

That is the situation in my household. My wife is one of those people who goes overboard on the primary filling and throws the proportions off. It isn't Katz's deli levels but it is noticeable.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

first, she makes some foccacia (she is italian). after slicing a lot of thin slices of mortadella and chilli salami from a local butcher she grates a significant amt of mozzarella. thick slices of tomato with salt and pepper on top, a nice handful of basil and parsley and some kewpie mayo and balsamic glaze over it all.

put all that in the fresh foccacia and damn, i cant think of anything better.

edit: i forogt to add some olive oil to the undersides of the bread, and also if im not feeling mortadella, i go champagne ham.

also, thin slices may be controversial, but thick slices dry out the sandwich for me

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

OK, here's what you do, you followin' me camera guy?

You take chicken breasts and put them in a ziploc bag with some soy sauce and let them refrigerate overnight.

The next day, you cube them, skewer them and grill them until done.

On a large onion bun, you paint one side with hoisin sauce, one side with thai peanut sauce, then you put the chicken on the bun.

Top with a combination of shredded carrots, cabbage, and purple cabbage, soaked in sweet chili sauce.

Put the bun together, wrap in foil, serve warm, and enjoy.

It's a sandwich so good it can enslave lesser minds.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Could have just said bahn mi, but I like the visuals.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That's not really a banh mi, they are baguettes. Also a ton of different "fillings" can go into one of those, so it's good to be specific.

Sounds great, though.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Bahn mi, here at any rate, is served on crusty French bread with cilantro and mayo and is pork rather than chicken, but I get the similarity. :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

In Vietnam, they had bread that was basically tender like milk bread, but with a slightly stronger crust, so just grabbing it, no matter how carefully would result in compressing the inner bun while fracturing the crust.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Now you both have my undivided attention.

Partner will never make for me because she’s not a fan of white condiments and thinks cilantro tastes like soap but….

Both versions sound very interesting.

Like interesting e ough to consider getting up off my big fat tail and making it myself, imagine that…

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

If you find a place that makes them, they're generally super cheap too. I buy them 2 or 3 at a time. :)

https://thebestbaguette.com/menu

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

For those of us that wouldn't know what bahn mi is. It sounds delicious.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

That's not really a banh mi, banh mi is on a French roll, typically with mayo, paté, various protein options (Vietnamese cold cuts are common, grilled pork/chicken, meatballs/sausage, tofu, etc), pickled carrots and daikon radish, cucumber, cilantro, and jalapeños. At least from my experience. I'm not sure how strict a definition it has, but it definitely comes on a French roll. They're absolutely delicious, I highly recommend you try one! That other sandwich sounds good too though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

If I told her, "bish, make me a sammich!", I would get a no-sex sammich. It would be all that I get to eat for days, and it would differ from the sandwich I might make for myself by the number of people involved.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

The “pro-eato” we used to make at one of my first jobs. Pastrami, turkey, and melted provolone on a toasted onion roll with coleslaw and Russian dressing.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

*ceremoniously unwraps Uncrustables and frisbee's it across the room

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

None, I'm waaaaaaay better in the kitchen than her HAHAHAHAHA

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

There is no sandwich like the "Monster Sandwich" at the food truck near my place, that shit it's amazing..

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Where is this place so I can try it out?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Can't tell you mate, no identificable information from me, but just look for small places like food trucks or tiny establishments with lots of people on the line, and I bet that sandwich will be better than anything someone could do at their home.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Honestly, anything! @[email protected] makes the best sandwiches!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

In the bit, I imagine she should know his sandwich and its peculiars by then.

It differs in that someone else makes it while he continues the important work of sitting and drinking.

I imagine the small mercy in this Al Bundy kinda situation is that his sandwich is probably pretty simple and boring, mayo and baloney sorta thing, instead of a proper lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, oil, peppers, maybe olives and bologna sorta thing.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Always into a good Denim sandwich myself.

A Jandwich if you willl.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

The Jemmy Japocalypse is Jeal

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I gotta ask. Is that a picture of you (like, actually you) in your profile pic?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Yes. Though its dated now. Really didn't have any bright ideas for an avatar when I joined.

EDIT: Updated it to match my tenforward.social one.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That's so surprising. Coming from reddit, it was so rare to see people using IRL information in their profile. Is it more common in some lemmy communities?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think it depends on personal preference and what kind of user you are.

If you are going to engage in trolling and just being the kind of person someone wouldn't want to hire its probably best to hide your identify.

Likewise of you just want to keep it a secret.

My identity has been out there on the internet for a long time. Ran a web community, work in IT. I might delve into grayer topics on social media than on LinkedIn, but I try to check myself and ensure I'm considering others and my behavior before allowing myself to just pump raw emotion into comments.

Not going to claim to be 100% successful at either of those but hey I try.

I limit what information is shared about me as much as I can afford to given the nature of the industry I work in.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Fair enough. I actually respect it and think it might make for a nicer community if more people did it. It's just so hard for me to relate as someone who has engaged in communities like this for 20+ years completely anonymously.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (2 children)

If they made me a real Reuben sandwich, on rye and with the sauce and everything, I'd do anything for them.

A sandwich I'd make for myself likely just consists of turkey lunchmeat, a few slices of cheese, and some lettuce.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Jesus, show yourself the love you deserve. Or don't expect someone to do something you yourself aren't even willing to do.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

The lean turkey sandwich is vastly more healthy and self-loving than the reuben.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Hell yes. Not the arbys version - which is tolerable honestly but not exciting - the actual deli version.