ada

I'd rather be blistering hot than wrapped up in layers and living inside stuffy heated buildings

I wonder the same thing about people who live in cold environments. I've never seen snow, and I know I won't handle it, because I can't handle single digit (Celsius) temperatures, let alone below 0...

I don't think it's the answer as such, but I think the answer is on the page for that product, which is to say my existing bras probably aren't supportive enough. That product only works with high support bras, which mine aren't...

I very much don't want to get involved in day to day moderating of the community, but I do watch over all reports that come through for blahaj communities, and I will deal with the spammers/bigots etc as well.

No no, they didn't go behind my back. I knew it was in the works. It's more that there was no clear communication about the plans, so I only found out specifics after they'd been made public.

Then maybe when you are talking to people in the future about this, you can talk about the differences in moderation styles in an objective way, talking about the types of things we disagree on, without loading it with terms like "over moderation" and "moderating by vibes" etc.

My moderation style hasn't changed, and predates 196. If it doesn't gel with your team, you can say that without making it my fault.

I thought this was meant to be on good terms? What about your post is fostering good will? It's nothing but trashing on me...

To be clear, every post and user I removed was due to queerphobia, transphobia, trolling or spam, issues that broke the instances rules. Some of that bigotry was was implicit rather than explicit, like dog whistles, tone policing etc. Some of it was the "just asking questions" transphobia that pervades most corporate owned social media spaces.

This is the way I have moderated this instance from before the time I handed this community to moss. When lemmy was just taking off, I asked for people to mod the 196 community after it was abandoned by its original creators, and passed it over to moss when she raised her hand.

So if the goal is for this to be civil, maybe don't paint me as the bad guy for moderating in a way I have done from before your community was created here. What feels like "moderating by vibes" to you, is lengthy experience with community development, and a decade navigating queer and gender diverse communities, and knowing what I want from them. As moss said, this is ideological differences in how low grade transphobia and queerphobia should be dealt with. moss is ok with community pushback for the low grade stuff rather than moderation, whereas I'll just remove it.

That's what I wouldn't compromise on, and that has been the way the instance has run for years now.

It feels like every time I extend 196 a hand, you bite it. I gave the community to moss and started this whole thing. I told another instance admin no when they asked 196 to remove their banner. moss then went and leaked the DMs from said admin, forcing me to remove the post, and then had a public complaint session about me for removing the post.

I have asked 196 for years now to have an active blahaj.zone mod so that someone can deal with the blahaj.zone reports that constantly come through and build up, but still, the best we got were mods with alt accounts that get checked every couple of days, leaving me to deal with the build up of reports on 196. Sometimes they would hang around there for days while I waited for a 196 mod to log in and look at them. And because you don't like the way I deal with them, you drag me over the coals for my moderation style, despite no one from 196 stepping up to deal with those reports on a regular basis.

I was told that you were thinking about moving to another instance. I offered my support if you decided to stay or to leave. And that was the last I heard of it, until one of your mods (possibly you if I remember correctly) told the community you were organising something with lemmy.world, and I had to hear that second hand. And then, when things were finalised and the decision to move was locked in, once more, I heard about it second hand, after your team made a public post, because no one from 196 could be bothered to tell me before posting.

So no, you don't get to paint me as the unreasonable admin who moderates by "vibes". If you want to point the finger at me, at least own your own mistakes, rather than asking for good will and civility and then dumping on me when the chance presents itself.

I'm particular about this, because I'm Adaline, not Adeline :)

No ill will! I just don't want people thinking I was defacto moderating 196

Mod choices are rarely, if ever, checked by my team

To be clear, the only moderation I do is for content or users that are breaking our instance guidelines, not 196 rules. If it didn't break instance guidelines, I didn't touch it, and if it did, it was bigger than 196. In neither case was running it past 196 mods an appropriate step

There are upsides and downsides to such an approach.

We admin several instances for example, because we are trying to create safe spaces for queer folk and want to foster those communities. We pay out of our own pockets to do so.

I've got no interest in running a generic piece of network infrastructure that can be used by bigots just as readily as the people that they harass.

The people that do want to run that are "free" speech types, which is how you end up with nostr

It's Adaline, not Adeline!