peppersky

If I was just 10 percent more confident, 10 percent less depressed, 10 percent less ugly, 10 percent more chill, 10 percent more rich, 10 percent more connected, I could do literally everything

I've known guys like you who let the not getting laid thing develop into an obsession and have had such an obsession myself a long time ago. I can't really help you with that, I couldn't help the other guys and I myself only really understood how ridiculous that attitude is after I spent some time in a relationship, so I didn't really need to outgrow it. I'm lonely again now and have been for years, but my experience tells me that fucking wouldn't somehow make me whole and it's not worth obsessing over. I can't transmit that to you, so basically there's just the drop in the bucket as my anecdotal evidence.

So you were in a relationship? Some person told you "I love you" and no matter how short it was for a single faction of your existence you were loved and desired by somebody? Somebody told you "I want to share my life (however brief) with you?" That's all I want, just give me a single second of that and I'll never complain again. It's not about getting laid, it's about being desired. And being desired is a basic normal human need and when that need is not met and has never been met you'll lose your mind.

That's why you grew out of it when you had a relationship.

Sorry for having a mental illness, sorry for being stupid, sorry for being socially inept, sorry for not being a productive worker sorry for not being normal sorry for being born to poor parents who beat me, sorry for not rising above my class, sorry for being not normal, sorry for being such a loser, do I now deserve love?????????

I've focused on myself for my entire life. I've become a genuine authentic person with interests hobbies passions. The only things I haven't been able to do was become integrated in a community (they just don't exist anymore) or exploit my life for money. I don't have money. My goals and aspirations are to not become another cog in the machine, to not be broken down by capitalism, to not exploit my existence for cold cash. Sadly that's not very attractive to woman, who are smarter than me who know that you can't live without money and that it sucks to be poor and that it's better to live inauthentic fake easy lives that real authentic hard lives

So you have been desired? So you have had someone who wanted to be next to you when you went to sleep and wanted to be next to you as you woke up. Nobody ever wanted to do that with me. Yes, I would much rather have a relationship that made my feeling spiral out of control than not have one and have my emotions spiral out of control anyway like they are doing right now. I don't want to be single. I've been single thirty years. I don't want to be alone, I'll have enough time to be alone when I'm dead.

I want someone to fill my void and to fill someone else's void.

I'd give the entire fucking world for a little bit of tenderness.

Have you ever been in a romantic relationship? Have you ever felt desired? If you have you cannot feel my pain. You cannot even begin to comprehend it. There's a giant hole within me and nothing but being desired can fix it because I'm a normal human being with normal human being needs

Yeah, the only existing third spaces nowadays seem to be digital. Atomization of the working class is very real, and has very real impacts on social networking. All the people who want to interact with more people are moving to spaces like discord or places like this website. It sucks, but at some level you just have to roll with the times. I personally hate discord, but I still have it specifically for those third spaces.

this cannot be life. this cannot be the life i have to live. i have maybe 70 to 80 years on this earth and i need to put all of my existing into that time and a single second together with a friend is worth more than a thousand hours on discord. i want to be able to touch my friends, i want to smell them, i want to hold them, i want to feel them fill the room. i want to see them with my own eyes, without interruption and delay, without translation, i want to shout with them and sing with them and dance with them and make music with them and the world just doesn't want me to and there are people who can do this so why can't i what the fuck is wrong with me. why am i neither a person who can just live online nor someone who can just live offline

Something I will say though is that you gotta chill out on defending incels, because it makes you seem like an incel and that will turn people away from you. You don't have to ridicule them, but playing defense for them is a really bad look to say the least.

i feel for the incel because never feeling desired will break your spirit and your heart and your body and your soul. i obviously don't defend incels in real life, but i genuinely think the way people write about these things on here is wrong and disgusting and just as wrong-headed as the way incels talk.

Just try to be chill and try to appreciate people for who they are, and people will appreciate that you do that. Being nice and helpful are super attractive traits that will boost your self esteem and get you far.

i am chill and appreciate people, i live a genuine life and have hobbies and friends and i go out sometimes and im nice an helpful. if you saw me in a group of people you couldn't pick me out (i think). this has not gotten me far. in fact it has gotten me absolutely nowhere. im just as much of a virgin as i was ten years ago and believe me ive become a much more genuine and nice and helpful and interesting and interested person in that time and i treat everybody with respect and interest and all i want is someone to hold me and to say they want me and that they want to spend time with me and that has never happened and the whole weight of the world lies on me and there's nothing beneath me but an endless abyss and if i die without ever having received love then that would be a fate infinitely worse than never having lived at all. life with love is everything and life without love is nothing

I've not written anywhere that incel ideology is right or that it does good to people. It clearly does not. What I am saying is that incels are wrong and you and a lot of people on this website are wrong too when they talk about dating and love and relationships.

Like, obviously one should work though their negative feelings in the first place. But there are a terrifiying number of people who don't do that, who still manage to achieve at least shallow relationships by concealing their shit and playing a part. Is that approach to relationships fucked up, socially and psychologically corrosive, and a sign of a more widespread social sickness? Absofuckinlutely. But (and again, we're being amoral here) is it a marginally more effective individual approach to relationships than unconcealed hostility? Scoreboard says Also Yes.

I cannot even begin to say what a disgusting and untenable position this is. I have a thousand times more sympathy with an incel who cannot hide his misogyny and doesn't get what he wants than with a man who can hide his misogyny to get his dick wet and just gets what he wants. I'd much rather the misogynist does not "play a part" in social reproduction. The incel does much less harm to the world than the regular misogynist does.

no one has desired me in a decade. ive never felt part of a group. ive grown so much as a person over the last ten years, ive become such a more well-rounded more interesting person but none of that seems to matter, even at my most out-going there was just no one ot there for me. i just moved and i searched three years for a place and the place is much nicer but i just feel even more like shit. there seems to be less "out there" day by day and i live in a big fucking city and i am in university with people who have the same interest but everbody is too busy to have time for me and nobody wants to connect and im sure they all feel as lonely as i do but nothing ever amounts to anything and i got active in our institute and did events but nobody went to them

and im not queer i do not feel like a gender i do not feel like presenting any different or being anything and if people want to say he that is alright and if they want to say my name thats alright i dont care i just want to be wanted and for people to talk to me and be nice to me

of course i am romancing romance why do you think its called romance thats what romance is for, love transcends everything if you let it, love is the greatest force in the universe, theres this whole other world of experiences out there that i am just not privy to ive got all this skin that nobody has ever touched. if a woman gently caressed my thigh she could then stick a knife through my heart and that would be alright

there was a woman who had interest in me ten years ago since then nothing even at my most social times i have many friends but most have moved away

I had a dream where I kissed a woman a few days back oh boy was that fun I wish I had never woken up

That was obviously wrong I'm sorry. It's just that my loneliness obviously doesn't stem from my lack of status or from my poverty since even people mich lower on the social ladder have a romantic life which means all my problems are my own fault and I should feel ashamed for having them which is what I meant to write sorry I was having a panic attack

I have never kissed a woman, I have never slept with a woman, even though i have craved companionship all my life. I feel lonely every time I go to sleep and every time I wake up. I feel ashamed for this and feel like there's something deeply personally wrong with me. My favorite movies are romance movies.