Boobs, because he loves looking down on us
this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2025
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Homie travelled alone with twelve guys that he loved and they truly loved him back. He never made a pass at Mary Magdalene, and when Judas sold him out he sealed Jesus's fate with a kiss.
Jesus was definitely an ass man.
It's a tough question, to be sure. I mean, we can look through the book for hints about it here and there, but I think the best way is to look at the followers who are closest to him. That said... Pedophile. Jesus was definitely a pedophile.
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This post comes up every so often, and every time either I, or someone else, reminds people that one of the Bible's biggest stories is that of Jesus washing Mary Magdalene's feet. Mary Magdalene was a "street walker" at the time, which is old times speak for hooker, thus making him a feet guy
Agreed he had an obsession with washing peoples feet. As I see it, as an evolved and enlightened human he was probably a pan sexual with a feet washing fetish
There are claims that the translation of the bible is wrong on this though.
In short, feet might mean genitalia. I really have no opinion on it, but it makes a lot of sense. The purpose of even describing the submissive act of washing feet aligns well with the old Greek teacher and pupil relationships to present Jesus as a stand up guy who will go down on anybody, men or women, regardless of their status. He took your sins and such.
The message is the same anyway, so I suppose it has been whitewashed a bit throughout the years.
The reason why I want to believe it is that it would also explain why he was so popular that contemporary writers would bother writing anything about him.
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He washed all the disciples feet ;)
Maybe it was like a Tarentino thing. You work with this guy for years and feet keep coming up so one day you ask him and he's like "yeah ok, I've got a foot thing but it's a personal thing" and you leave it at that but then you remember at the start of your career doing foot photos with him and you're too embarrassed to ask but you always wonder..
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Well there are several stories in the Bible about Jesus riding an ass, but none about Jesus riding boobs. So I think it's safe to say Jesus was an ass man.
Granted, you'd have to find some way to harness together quite a few boobies in order for them to be able to pull anything much, since they're not huge birds. But if you get enough of them, maybe you could fly.
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This logic is sound. Concur.
Considering this is the middle east were talking about, he'd be an ankle/feet man
That's why he always wanted to wash them
He seemed like the kind of guy who'd be into thighs tbh
Definitely a member of the thighdeology sect
We call it thighentology around these parts