this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jesus was a boob man. boobs are bearer of nourishment and a symbol of motherhood.

The ass is from the devil.

[–] khonager@lemmy.one 4 points 2 months ago
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago
[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

It's always a weird question to me. Every time I see boobs, there is an ass attached to the same person. Both is the way

[–] Babybonita@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

What is this question😭

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Breasts, there's a lot of art made of Christ being breastfed.

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Obviously a feet man. Further evidence that Tarantino is Jesus.

[–] Veronicaella@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

What advice would you give to your younger self?

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

Was there not a passage about how he washed feet or something?

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I'm pretty sure Paul had the celibacy fetish and introduced the sex=bad element to the dogma. Some scholars even suggest that was his thing since the other gods were sex positive. (At least toward men getting laid.)

Post biblcal Christianity was informed, in part, by Hellenic philosophical traditions, which were apollonian in nature. Women's sexuality was on the dionysian side.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 25 points 2 months ago

This is aphobic. Asexuals are human too.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Most carpenters I've ever known were more boobs men

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Long hair, glamorous face, skinny ripped body? Jesus was a twink.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 17 points 2 months ago

Not Korean Jesus. He's swole af. Turns water into pre-workout.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Boobs? Ass? Ew. He was clearly a dong man. That whole bit about parting the sea? He actually just whipped out his gigantic cock and created a bridge with it.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I thought "parting the Sea" was a euphemism for spreading some bussy?

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 months ago

Pretty sure that was a different guy. Both had giant dongs they could part water with, but the Red Sea was definitely Moses.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 7 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Lust is sinful, and Jesus was without sin, though

[–] lime@feddit.nu 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"let he who is without sin cast the first stone" *picks up rock*

[–] bigschnitz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ergo he exploited the poophole loophole, thus our brother in Christ was (is?) an ass man.

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

The whole "camel through eye of a needle" allegory is a hidden clue for anal obsession /s

[–] AstridWipenaugh@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Having attraction preferences doesn't mean you're lustful.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 1 points 2 months ago

You'll figure out your attraction preferences through lust, though

[–] kofe@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Depends on whom you're asking, but lots of christians consider it a sin outside of marriage. Super healthy message to give young kids /s

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 1 points 2 months ago

The context is moreso "everyone is sinful" because everyone does it.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 33 points 2 months ago

Cock.

He was a fisher of men, after all. 😏

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