Because I'm sick of seeing the same trite "how is this satire" comments every time I post in this community, I've decided to start including the definition for everyone:
OH THE HUMANITY!!!
Anyway back to our regularly scheduled programming.
this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
832 points (98.3% liked)
The Onion
5211 readers
613 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Imagine seeing that the entire nation will hate you forever if you shoot up a school and then seeing that the nation will love you forever if you take out a CEO and you still choose to be the biggest pussy on Earth by going after innocent children.
That's irrelevant in this case. The shooter was a 15-year-old student at the school, not an outsider who picked the school to target.
Glad to see that the US is back to normal despite the weird politics and everything.
Repeal the 2nd
But then how will we kill CEOs?
I read about this French invention that works pretty well. I've got the sharpener ready.
And just how are you supposed to kill a man with a baguette?
Board rooms, not class rooms.
Omg my thoughts and prayers didn’t stop it?
Noooooooo…
Think and pray more, we don't have time for rookie numbers.
Thank GOD it was only a School getting Shot up and not a CEO! I ALMOST thought I had to Care!
Authorities are busy trying to determine whether Luigi Mangione was involved in the school shooting.
Oh was there another school shooting?
I hear there was one in california around the same time Thompson got his medical license revoked
It's some sort of irony that I don't think things will change for the better without violence. The ultra wealthy that drive a lot of culture war bullshit, that enshittify everything for more profits and "growth", who pollute the air we breathe and water we drink, aren't going to just give up power.
I'm just so tired of everything being so needlessly bad. Stop shooting kids and teachers. They aren't the problem.
We never didn't need violence and always will need it... Police is institutionalized violence, the judiciary system is how we figure out how much violence to punish people with.
Society needs them as long as there are things society wants to stop people from doing. It's when this system doesn't work anymore that we need violence from other sources, but still, we need violence.
view more: next ›