Take over Clearance and have him shoot kegStand. Based on the timing, the next 58 seconds can be a sick rant about guns.
If sleepy Joe is on the ball, he'll have two young replacements in mind.
this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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Some crypto bro bastard is about to lose their holdings...
To OP and others giving similar answers; ok, so you take control of the person...
Do you actually know how to do the things you say?
Using OP as an example, do you know how to use those hacking tools? Do you know how to go about hacking everyone's phone? Because otherwise the only thing you'll have access to for a minute is whatever is in arms reach of said NSA agent.
Shhhh if every movie director thought about movie plots deeper, we'd have 90% less movies. π
I'd control Biden and have him do his job by executing the traitors that are a legitimate threat to the US constitution.
I would save it for an armed person protecting a full cabinet meeting after january 15th.
Fox news be like: "DEMOCRAT DEEP STATE ANTIFA SLEEPER AGENT..."
Edit: Btw inauguration is Jan 20, you got your dates mixed up
yeah better make it febuary just to be sure. thanks. that could have been a disaster if I had gotten superpowers or a genie wish.
Biden: order seal team to take out any and all known associates to the MAGA movement. Do this under extreme secrecy and urgency, using all classified information related. Also any controlling parties to the GOP and DNC.
Mitch first for old times sake.
Probably one of musks 50 body guards.
Trump will take a hero dose of acid, thereβs no other way
I would control King Charles and have him order the dissolution of the empire.
Can that include the end of the monarchy itself, please? π
That would be nice too.
Make the Pope announce his conversion to Buddhism (and declare it an infallible doctrine of faith, ex cathedra).
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The only people it would be ethical to use this on are those in permanent vegetative states... and myself.
I think I'd opt for one minute of true self-control. Maybe I could overclock myself or something. Never know until you try.
Nice job of spotting the philosophical.
I say doctors should have a way to do this with patients to deterministically diagnose a person, (with consent of course). I'd do that in a heartbeat with my chronic issues.
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Not a lot you can do in one minute. Maybe a tweet? so would have to take the muskrat.
"After a discussion with president elect orange turdball I will be shutting down X January next year, you can find me over on Truth Social"
Then sign him out of twitter from each device in range.
Musk -> nearest window
Think bigger. Musk could probably walk into a meeting room with Mango Mussolini, strapped up, and he wouldn't be searched.
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Inb4 and during Trump + gun
The actual problem here is that it's not clear when he will be near a gun to the point that someone could do that. You only have a minute. Is Trump within a minute's range of a gun and would not be stopped by his security detail if he tried to use it?
My thought process is: Turn to security guy, say, "gib gun plz, pres order". Offhand I dunno if they'd comply, but worth a shot (see what i did there?)
Nah, won't do shit except cause more chaos and Vance would invoke insurrection act. Not remotely worth it.
Have Musk denounce trump would make it more funny.
Vance doesn't have Trumps cult so he wouldn't be able to get away with any sort of Trump stuff. He'd try of course, but deffo get a lot more pushback.
Vance is an opportunist and would cheerfully go along with the Project 2025 folks in order to be their figurehead and grab a bunch of loot. And they'd be happy to have him as a figurehead, so long as he does what they tell him to.
I don't think it's possible to pull that off. There might be tools to send SMS to every active number but figuring out how that software works takes way more than 1min. Even if you also get the knowledge there might be several security measures in place, like additional approvement before sending.
I would control Putin and check the famous russian window.
The person who approves or denies new shows on Netflix or something and then spend the next minute approving as many animated shows as I can.
Make someone edit the balance of my bank account. I think you can buy a lot of things, including further immoral services with cash. I hope there is someone who can do it in 1 minute and doesn't require any review by other people.
This would undoubtedly backfire just like that TikTok "hack" that happened a while ago. (If you're out of the loop, it boiled down to writing yourself a bad cheque for a ridiculous amount, and then spending the money that appeared in your account before it bounced. Presto! Cheque fraud! Bad things are coming to you soon!)
"We're sorry to inform you that you have spent money wrongly credited to your account. You now owe us all that money back and we've slapped on a 100% interest rate for good measure. You could fight this in court, but we have more money than Croesus, so you'll lose. Sincerely YourBank Inc."
People are going to say Trump and Putin and all that shit, but I'm going to control my boss and have him double my salary.
Ooh - Jeff Bezos, and some way to irreversibly triple every non-executive Amazon worker/contractor's pay, plus full healthcare. He can afford it and Amazon has enough direct and indirect workers that it'll be felt throughout the country and the economy, and other companies will eventually be forced to compete, raising living standards for most people (and increasing tax revenue).
End with a tweet supporting an inflation-linked living wage, Medicare for All, and UBI.
Sounds good, but what's to stop them from changing it right back once the minute is up?
I'll give myself a raise and then self-immolate him. No takesy backsies.
Only thinking of yourself, tsk tsk.
We're at a point in world politics where taking out one person isn't going to change much anyway.
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