I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I've heard...

I know from first hand experience you can't do it by accident as one time, hung over and showering in the dark in the early morning i got a little dizzy and sat down.

Perfectly meeting my starfish to the shampoo bottle on the floor. It could not have been more on target had i attempted this.

I shot up, seeing stars like for real for only the second time in my life. I wasnt dizzy, I was up and at em' baby. Wooo what a rush! Hurt a lot for a minute. Hard as i sat down I don't think that bottle tip made it a millimeter into my pooper.

So yeah, impossible

If i ever get something stuck up my ass while trying to pleasure myself and need medical help to remove it, I will absolutely try to come up with the most convoluted and ridiculous story for how it got there. Not out of embarrasment, but just to give the ER nurses a good laugh.

Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident

... that sign ... they just kept it because it seemed funny after they retrieved it from a pacient.