Ask Lemmy

Embrace the difficulty, because it’s not going to go away.

Never do anything permanent to my body, unless it is medically necessary.

People come in and out of life... Let them.

Do not date at work.

Under absolutely no circumstance do I mess with people in relationships.

Friends that are dating:
If they break up and I'm interested in her... I give one month per year of time, one month minimum, before I approach her. That helps prevent hurt feelings, it also prevents being the "rebound". Although, one time it cost me a possible relationship as she broke up with her fiancee' and immediately approached me. Unfortunately, she never came out an positively stated they were broken up and it caused quite a bit of awkwardness on my part. She ended up hating my guts, but honestly I probably just dodged a bullet.

Give yourself the respect you deserve. Corollary: Behave in a manner that you can respect.

There are more, but this is what I have time to type out right now.

I printed this quote by Sister Chan Khong and carry it in my wallet:

If we just worry about the big picture, we are powerless. So my secret is to start right away doing whatever little work I can do. I try to give joy to one person in the morning, and remove the suffering of one person in the afternoon. If you and your friends do not despise the small work, a million people will remove a lot of suffering.

So I try to spread a little joy and remove a little sadness.

If you don't know what you want, make a choice instead of just waiting. If it's not the right one, change your mind. It's always ok to change your mind. Sitting in stasis means the ice cream shop closes before you ordered and now you don't get any.

"Treat people the way you would like them to treat you."

"Judge every claim on the basis of the evidence presented for it."

Be excellent to each other

When I was a teenager, I encountered a bunch of different perspectives that contradicted the beliefs and ideas that I was raised with, and I realized that if you had wrong ideas about reality and tried to be a good person based on those ideas, you could easily wind up doing more harm than good. So I made a vow to myself to always pursue the truth - to learn about the world, to examine myself and my biases, to seek out and understand different perspectives, to ground my beliefs on evidence, and to reject peer pressure and comforting lies and to face reality even when it disturbed me.

I have two main moral guidelines by which I try to live:

A. Try to leave everything better than it was before, or at least avoid making it worse. It doesn't have to be by much, but if every person makes things just one tiny bit better, the culminating effect will be great. Do your part.

B. The difference between a moral person and an immoral one usually doesn't lie in the ability/inability to know right from wrong, rather in the ability to rationalize their immoral actions. Therefore:

• Doing bad things once in a while does not make you a bad person, it makes you human.
• Avoiding doing bad things 100% of the time will make you a bad person, as you'll inevitably fail and will be forced to rationalize your actions, making it easier to do more bad things.
• What makes you a good person is the ability to know when you're acting wrong.

From there, there are a few rules that help me along the way:

1. Everyone are wrong. Assume you're wrong about some important things/core beliefs, you've just yet to discover which ones. Don't hesitate to act according to what you think is right, but understand you're probably doing something wrong somewhere. Look for signs that show that's the case.

2. Making mistakes is fine and inevitable. Reflect on your mistakes and try not to make the same mistake twice.

3. Use everything as an opportunity to learn. The best way to learn is from other people's mistakes - it provides a visceral lesson without you having to pay the price.

4. People's opinions of you are their business, not yours. Though you should choose to use them to improve yourself when applicable.

5. Admitting being wrong or admitting a mistake will not only improve things, but is a sign of strength. Not doing so is a sign of weakness. This is true both for yourself and for other people.

6. Give people the benefit of the doubt and don't be quick to judge them. Wait until you have enough data and then come to conclusions.

7. No rule is correct in all situations.

8. External rules (and laws) exist for a reason. If you're going to break one of them, first understand why it's there in the first place and why it should be ignored. Do not assume you know better than the people who came up with it.

9. Blanket statements can be correct or incorrect for the most part, but they can't be used to solely justify an action or an opinion.

Everyone deserves respect.

Respect is in fact, not earned.

One loses respect due to their behavior.

Keep the roof watertight, keep the toilet flushing, keep oil in the engines, keep gas in the tanks, keep at least a week of food in the pantry. Literally nothing else on this earth matters if you don't have these five things done.

Don't do anything you're going to have to lie about. If you do, don't lie about it. If you do, make it right as soon as possible.

This is something I learned from experience. I have plenty of problems in my life but a heavy conscience isn't one of them.

Stay completely off all social media, including Lemmy.

Don't do good things to be good, do them because of how good they make you feel

Pay attention, it's the little things that make the whole picture when put together

If you're unsure about doing a certain activity do it anyways. It's better to err than to do nothing and forever wonder what it would had been like if you had

Most people aren't evil, they just have been formed differently by life itself. Try to understand them before you decide how you feel about them

The entire world is batlting against you, trying to convince you to open your wallet for them. Don't let them win.

Be nice. But not at any cost.

• Knowledge is meant to be shared, not hoarded.
• The act of kindness is free, but its impact is priceless.
• Discipline matters, but so does self-care.

The way that someone responds to you is a reflection of them, not of you. If someone in your life is wildly inconsistent, all you can do is make sure that you are maintaining consistency yourself.

I've worked with a number of people who acted like we were besties one day and then gave me the cold shoulder for weeks. I spent too many years wondering what was wrong with me before I finally figured out that their mood swings had nothing to do with me.

You can't fully trust anyone, not your parents, siblings, extended family, spouse, best friend forever, no one. Don't count on anyone for anything and accept that the only person in your life who has your best interests at heart is you.

Perfect is the enemy of good enough

Chill the fuck out

Try to live a happy life while impinging on others as little as possible. Pretty much the exact opposite of right-wingers.

Don't make excuses. If you fucked up admit it and make a plan to prevent it from happening in the future. Excuses themselves do nothing to help a situation.

"Disregard principles"