yfw jesus was a schizotypal homeless man cult guy or something. very easy to betray or kill him
this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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I imagine it all to be like game of thrones or Harry Potter, where the characters have access to incredible magic spells, but hardly ever use them. Maybe Judas just didn’t see enough sparkles.
In the book of Mark--the earliest Gospel--none of the disciples realize Jesus is the Son of God, lol.
Scholars call it the "Messianic Secret".
Judas just kissed somebody else that looked like Jesus, it was all a just a conspiracy to take heat off Jesus ass.
3 days later he made an apparition to give some last goodbyes and goes off to to live the rest of his life with Mary Magdalene.
He ended up dying in Japan.
Judas just kissed somebody else that looked like Jesus
This is what Muslims actually believe. Jesus wasn't crucified but a lookalike was.
He ended up dying in Japan.
Not this bit though.
The Japan part was a mostly a joke, but there's is indeed some people who believe that. The not being killed part is actually the only logical conclusion if you think realistically about it, but didn't actually know that it was a thing for the Muslims! TIL
You don't get it. It was written in prophecies - it just must have happened because (supposedly) some guy years before wrote a story about it.
Why's it so hard to not use fucking slurs?
Because 4chan
Seeing how Judas is a bit "jewy" in this image, it just occurred to me that it'd be funny to troll christians by portraying Jesus as a stereotypical (racist) Jew (because he was Jewish). I wouldn't do that because fuck racism, but the MAGAts would flip their shit.
Personally I only accept Korean Muscle Jesus as my lord and savior
Beating the hell out of you, one sin at a time
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Claims to be the highest level Cleric in the game
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Dies to a single hit from a level 1 spearman
Judas was correct to take the money. Those apostles would have been TPK'd at Masada anyway.
Yeah but in the lore he chose to let himself get killed so he could flex his resurrection spell.
That was a post-game DM rewrite.
Ahh, but that single strike was a coup-de-grace. And it looks like Jesus just couldn't pass that fortitude save...
Thirty pieces of silver though, man. When your leader's a dirty hippie you kind of miss the finer things in life, you know?
Besides, Big J said he already knew the betrayal would happen, so who is Judas to change what's meant to be?
Meanwhile, I'm dealing with parents that believe in God, Jesus and the holy trinity while claiming they're not religious.
Here's how that works: First, you get preachers to redefine "religion" to mean "following the Biblical laws", then you get them to talk about how Jesus did not come to "abolish Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.", which somehow means the old laws (don't eat shellfish, don't wear clothes made of mixed materials, etc) don't apply anymore???? Anyway, Jesus said "until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished.", but ye olde laws don't apply, and my parents are not-religious Christians.
Oh well, at least they're some of the most loving human beings that ever walked this earth, so if this is the worst I've got to complain about, then my life isn't that bad 😂
They're not "religious" by their own definition, but it's not the definition the rest of the world uses, so it's meaningless. But as long as they're not assholes they can believe what they want!
Let me get this straight. You think that your client, one of the holiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly the son of God, who spends his nights beating sinners to a pulp with his bare hands, and your plan is to betray this person? Good luck.
I mean, he got away with it, technically, didn't he? He only stopped himself.
Depends on which story you believe. Matthew says he hung himself. Acts says he fell and busted his head open in a more accidental way. And then there's a few other accounts that aren't in the biblical canon.
I love the Islam version where he was made to look like Jesus as punishment by God and actually the one who was crucified.
One version is that a T800 model 101 want back in time and terminated him.
One account says he started a wicked metal band.
My account is that after his successful quest the theif was awarded his loot for betral of the wizard which was enough to buy a pretty sick dagger and some torches.
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