All Englishmen are required to practice longbow if the parish priest asks them to so it’s plausible we’re all really great at archery still.
this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2024
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And Finally...
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In the pic - they are standing, but one of the six that qualified for standing on the ground is like really shitty at it. I know I can do better (but like 10 minutes max, then by back starts to hurt).
I’ve been training for the British sumo team for years. It’s been a real struggle keeping my weight up, but the phone still hasn’t rung.
Elitist sport bastards!
Consider yourself on Team F.UK in the Fedilympics.
I'm a F.UK-er through and through!
Look, people are just very confident in their own abilities, at least the Olympics are relatively safe...
I feel people are really underestimating chimpanzees - they will tear your arm off and beat you to death with it.
Not to mention the 8% who think they can fight a Gorilla!
I feel like the 28% who think they will lose a fight with a rat are my kind of people.
"Could you beat a rat in a fight if you were unarmed?"
"Hmmm... Is the rat armed?"
"Uh...what? No..."
"Ah ok. Then no."
Gorillas aren't as violent and aggressive as chimps - one could do you harm if you aggravated it enough but a chimp would need no such excuse. I'd probably rather fight a gorilla than a goose - they're mean.
Geese are all bark and no bite though
All honk, no bonk
I'm doing breakdancing
The only thing I’d be breaking is a few bones!
OK, if there's a Fedilympics, then you are on Team F.UK's list of competitors.
Someone needs to start that
I was pondering how it'd work. I have no good answers yet.
Firstly 27% of Britons are idiots. Down from 52% a few years ago, but still.
And naturally "The results also show that men are slightly more likely than women (30% vs 25%) to think they could make the Olympic team in 2028". To be be honest, I was surprised the margin was only 5%.
It would have been higher if they'd asked men in the pub.
Beginning of a session or at the end?
Kinda mid-way.
Sod that for a game of soldiers, the older i get the more im falling apart!!
I did badly at the Getting Out of Bed Without Groaning event this morning.
I feel that, like me most days, but now i think im getting arthritis in my hip joint, im not even 50 yet!!
Olympic Darts!
Olympic Snooker!
I’m actually surprised darts isn’t an Olympic sport
The modern biathlon
The modern pubathlon
- Pint
- Darts
- Pint
- Snooker
- Pint
- Fruit Machine
- Pint
- Chippie
- Pint
- Fight
Competitors are tested at the start to ensure they've done some pre-drinking warm-up rounds.
Where's stepping outside to smoke a fag or they'll go spare, mate?
- Kebab
- Not have lost keys or wallet and somehow get home
The post-fight kebab - classic power move!
The hell with the regular games, I'll buy a front row ticket to watch senior citizens absolutely shatter their bodies trying to qualify for an Olympic event
After seeing the break dancing, yeah, I could be an Olympic athlete too
Yeah but only if you lived in Australia.
Most shocking was that six per cent believed they could qualify for the 100m in just four years, and seeing as the qualifying time is 10 seconds for men and 11.07 seconds for women, we should apparently have high hopes for 2028…
Depends on whether you could run in your slippers.
