this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
66 points (100.0% liked)

Programmer Humor

19486 readers
566 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 4) 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (3 children)

This argument did not go well

You can't convince people to do their job with logic when they just don't want to do their job. After minorities, the thing cops hate most is doing their job.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

This post just shows that the police rarely if ever review any video as this method would've been learned as a result of repeatedly reviewing video.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

This method will take forever to find the exact moment, said Officer Zeno.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm a little surprised the police didn't already know about that method. Seems like they'd encounter enough CCTV footage that'd it'd be standard training.

I once again overestimate the training levels of the police.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

They probably do know. They just aren't meant for protecting your personal property

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This didn't go down well.

IT consulting pro-tip: Customers would rather pay for your time and expertise, than be made to feel stupid that they didn't think of something so simple themselves.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (4 children)

After working in desktop support for a year after college, I realized that people just wanted their problem solved and to not feel frustrated. That realization made my job immensely easier because I pivoted from copying a file in 30 seconds and walking away to talking to them a little bit and letting them feel good after we were done. My ticket closing speed slowed down a little but people felt better and I consistently got positive feedback.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Dude same here. I usually say stuff along the lines of 'yea it took me forever the first time to figure it out' or 'it's a common issue that a lot of people have, I'll get it sorted in a sec for you no problem'. Make it seem like they're not stupid, regardless of the truth and then fix it, keeps em happy and more willing to cooperate with you as well.

I also talk through what I'm doing and if they show interest I'll teach them so they can fix it in the future, 'ah I've seen this before, took me like a hour to figure it out on my computer, for me it was a chrome update that broke how downloaded files open. Here let me right click the file, and go to open with, we hit Adobe pdf and check the always open with this program button, that should do it let's test it out. OK seems like its good to go. Let me know if you have any more issues'. If they don't show interest then it's no problem.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Are you my kindred spirit!? :P Thats almost exactly what I do too!

My favourite is when someone apologies for not knowing something or having dumb questions. Apart from "there is never a dumb question" because there usually isn't, I typically respond with "if everyone already knew how to do everything, I'd be out of a job" which always seems to go down well.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

When I started in support 15 years ago my boss said: "First you solve the person, then you solve the problem".

He was a good dude.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] -1 points 11 months ago

just tell them there is a black man at the moment of theft, they will get on it lickety split!

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Yeah, pigs don't like to be corrected. Or made to look like they don't know what they're doing.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Fun fact. Cops on average have lower IQ and often fail literacy tests. Furthermore it appears that critical thinking is discouraged in the job, with candidates being selected who lack critical thinking abilities over those that have them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Certain departments specifically have IQ tests, in order to ensure you aren’t smart enough to easily get a better job elsewhere.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I think it's more nefarious than that. Many departments want a good 'ol boys club where they're the ultimate authority and they want their officers to fall in line rather than question department actions.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This internet myth has got to die. ONE case in ONE department, a quarter century ago, does not mean it's a practice.

https://www.nytimes.com/1999/09/09/nyregion/metro-news-briefs-connecticut-judge-rules-that-police-can-bar-high-iq-scores.html

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

We need to have a chat about your definition of "fun".

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (4 children)

And they absolutely hate ever doing anything about bicycle theft in particular.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I reported my bike stolen in college and I got a call the next day that they had found it parked in front of a nearby church.

It was stolen on a Sunday. I guess someone didn't want to be late to service.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

What you're entering the third act of your love story and you have to get to the church in time to break up the wedding and declare your love, what's a little bike theft? The universe will take care of it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I have heard that very often. I wonder if bikes are harder to track down than other property for some reason.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Given the number of times I've seen cops on police forums and r/protectandserve use terms like "bikefags", I think it's just the typical cop disgust of anything they perceive to be weak or effeminate.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a gay cyclist I know I’m doing something right by pissing off cops without doing anything wrong

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Thank you for you service o7

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

smaller, therefore easier to hide. Not registered with a central authority like, for example, cars.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

There’s plenty of cases where they don’t look for cars either.

Or the cops themselves just straight up steal the car themselves.

My wife’s car was ordered to be towed by, according to the impound lot, the police.

Neat thing was that there was no ticket with the car, no police station within 3 miles had a record of a ticket for her or the car, and the area she had parked had no signs that suggested it was illegal to park where she did, nor does the city have any ordinance about overnight parking.

Best we can figure, is a cop or the tow company that works with the city, just decided to tow a car for funsies and the 500 bucks it took to get it out of impound.

The police and every organization associated with them are corrupt to the core.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They only care about property loss when it involves rich people.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Which proves that cops really DO actually do their jobs.

Because protecting the property of the rich is the exact core purpose of policing.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Technically it’s maintaining social order. So get back to work menials or be reported to the Enforcers for organized discontent.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

"Exactly my point. We will not be investing an hour looking at the footage to pinpoint the time of theft, now get out!"

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›