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there was a show about muslims dating non-muslims in michigan, the guy had to commit to islam to even date the woman. it might be problematic if you arnt one and the other requires religious conversion.
if its associated with right wing political views, no thank you.
Anti-religious atheist here.
You know what...years ago I would have said "no". Imo, often fundamentalist religious people have views that actively harm society through systemic actions. So it's not something I am able to generally sit well with.
However, years back I met someone irl (not online) with absolutely polar opposite political and religious views as me. I am an atheist who actually opposes the concept of religion in general and I am very liberal. This person I know is very Catholic and conservative. They are a hardcore Trumper and I have always seen him as a dangerous threat to the US.
Yet...
Over the years, this person has legitimately become my absolute best friend. They are the kindest, funniest, most wonderful person I know. I absolutely love spending time with them. We just don't debate our polar opposite viewpoints. We still share and talk about deep, personal things...but we don't instigate political debates or anything like that. I take their views as someone who has been brainwashed by society, and I'm sure they feel the same about me. But it means that I don't see them as evil for their views and am able to easily look past that.
I don't know what the fuck I would do in life if I ever lost them. Sometimes they are the reason why I look forward to the rest of my day.
We are not romantically involved or anything. They have a partner and a family, and I wouldn't be interested with doing that with this person anyway.
But the point is, it taught me that I can have a very deep, personal connection with someone with polar opposite views. Ideally, I would like for a partner to share my views. But life has shown me that it is possible to be opposite like that and still really deeply care for and enjoy someone.
How do you reconcile their views on deportation, human trafficking, LGBT stuff, etc etc etc etc etc with you finding them to be a "wonderful" person? Personally anyone who believes in what Trump is doing is by definition a monster and any niceties they may show other people is either psychopathy or because you happen to be the right color. It's like the standard bad date test; if they're a shitheel to their server, they'll eventually be a shitheel to you too.
I remember bringing up some LGBT stuff to them before. I told them that I initially started questioning religion because it was upsetting to me that my sibling would be sent to hell simply for being gay. Interestingly, they seem to not believe the anti-gay rhetoric of their religion, which is a relief. Trans issues are another matter which does frustrate me a bit...they seem accepting of some trans people in general but have some unfortunate other views on the matter. It is difficult sometimes to reconcile stuff like this though, I agree.
No idea what they think on deportation, but why do you bring up human trafficking? Human trafficking is pretty universally seen by everyone as a bad thing, even Trumpers.
People are individuals and while most of them might lean a certain way, they often have some views that don't fit the stereotypical mold of their demographic if that makes sense. I found out that my friend was vehemetly against bombing Iran despite being a Trumper.
As another example that is likely to yield me downvotes, I would consider myself an incredibly liberal person. And I do sympathize with someone like Luigi. But I am very opposed to weirdly celebrating what he did like most of the internet seems to do. Compassion and understanding? Hell yeah. Celebrating shooting people? Not so much. I never talk about this with others because I know how unpopular of an opinion it is on the internet. But I brought it up to my Trumper friend and she feels the exact same way.
We are all individuals with our own views and you're not necessarily going to stumble across the "perfect match" with anything. Part of human relationships is learning who you can and can't get along with and working through the points that don't mesh as well. I don't know what I'm babbling on about really.
I’m atheist, but raised as a pretty diligent episcopal. I wouldn’t have any issue dating someone who is religious. I’ve dated a few women with different religious/spiritual views and it was never an issue. I’ve always been fascinated by religions and their histories despite never really believing in one myself.
I’d honestly be open to the idea of “converting” for someone I love, so long as the culture of their religion is compatible with my existing moral standards. I haven’t been to the point where I’d have to do that, but I don’t see why not to except that I’m not sure if it’s right to simply perform the practices with no belief in the core of it.
No lol
I couldn't be equals with someone who isn't living in grounded reality.
No, Im not a believer and that is unlikely to change
As an atheist: no.
As a former Christian, I would have a hard time dating anyone who is Evangelical, Protestant, or mainstream Catholic. Other than that, it's not so much the religious views that are the issue for me.
For what I am ... it depends on which end of the elephant you want to look at. For this crowd, let's say pantheist with pagan and Buddhist leanings.
I was raised Christian and am now atheist. I would have a very difficult time being romantic with anyone who calls themself Christian. I have come to despise all levels of it. I don't believe in the existence of the super natural. I don't believe in the Christian creation myth. I don't believe in the resurrection or any miracles of Jesus. I believe most churches are cults that we give a free pass to be cults because it's more socially acceptable. I believe religion did great harm to me growing up and I believe it does great harm to many other young people. I could go on, but that's the gist. If someone was somehow Christian and agreed with me on all of those points there might be a chance but I'd still view it as strange that they didn't see the whole thing as a scam and renounce their faith.
People from other religions I may have similar problems with because even though religions are different their effects are often similar. Even a staunchly pro LGBT church/religion I would have difficulty meshing with because my problems go so much deeper than that.
An exception would be people who are "spiritual" but not "religious". While I myself am quite skeptical, I am still open to the idea that there's more. And even if there's not, sometimes it's fun and/or beneficial to pretend that there is. So long as they themselves are similarly open to the ideas that they could be wrong and that others could be right I think I could get along quite well with people like this. The truth is I still have moments I would call religious experiences, but I don't believe they're revelations of truth. They're still interesting and fun to talk about. Like dreams.
Religious people are generally dogmatic, but then there are people who think they're religious but don't actually believe most of the concepts they grew under, besides one or two traditions that essentially just become culture
If they were personally religious (spiritual) rather than socially/dogmatically religious, then it could work out. As an atheist, I'm not against spiritual beliefs, but their core values must align with mine - that is the important bit here. Obviously, communication about these things would determine where we align, and help determine if we could sustain a relationship, but it's certainly a possibility.
Note: I include a love of nature, humanism, etc. under the 'spiritual' label, as well as traditionally religiously spiritual.
Note: I include a love of nature, humanism, etc. under the 'spiritual' label, as well as traditionally religiously spiritual.
Huh. Why?
People dive different things "spiritual", whether it's mystical or natural in origin. And "spiritual" can mean different things to different people. So, my label is inclusive.
Ah. It's somewhat odd for me, as my love for and of nature, as well as (and in the same vein) my ideas about human potential and dignity come from a specifically un- if not anti-spiritual place.
Something like: The material world is not only beautiful (in a fundamental way, I don't merely mean pretty like a forest on a hill, but also beautiful like all the interconnected systems that make it a forest), but also all there is, and that is part of the reason why caring about feeling beings is important.
But yeah, we always gotta make some judgement calls on who and what we exclude and include with the terms we use.
I guess, I'd say that "spiritual" is something that moves you deeply (you spirit, soul, or whatever you'd like to call it).
This conversation has helped me hone in a bit on my meaning. Thank you.
Irreligious Agnostic here. As long as they don't have extremist views I don't care.
Irreligious agnostic as well.
I think I would have difficulty depending on how devoted they are. Like would I need to pretend to pray beside them at every meal? Or do they just keep most of that to themselves?
Also, I do find the little rituals and habits that religious people go through a bit silly so I feel like I would not be able to just silently sit by and watch it for years and years.
Honestly it's a hard question to answer by text. Depends if they expect me to make room for them to practice their faith or expect me to to eventually follow in their spiritual path. Because these 2 are very different. I find the rituals offputting too even though I understand the logic behind them, but that could be because of internalised prejudice from my part. Also assuming this is a serious relationship would this person assume that in case you decide to have kids they will educated/indocrinated since an early age? That would be an absolute no for me. I'm certainly up for presenting them with the option when they come to an appropriate age but not raising them up to the idea that it is the only certainty in life. It's complicated for sure and there a number of things to take into account but that doesn't necessarily mean you should avoid being with someone you cherish because they find joy in a way of spirituality I/you may find archaic.
I wouldn't get involved with someone from any religion.
I'm an aethiset, she was christian. I moved on fairly quickly, it's just looppy shit i would have started to laugh..
I assumed she'd come to her senses, she assumed I could be indoctrinated.
It depends. Probably, as long as they didn't think I was going to hell, or believe something I found awful, or were evangelistic, needing me to believe what they did.
My mom's family was Methodist, my dad's family was Catholic, my mom stayed Methodist, Dad became just open-minded general Theist but not specifically Christian, I am not religious but not capital A Atheist.
No. Spirituality is a very core value. I wouldn't negotiate it.
I'm a Satanist. I would be fine dating an atheist, depending on their morals and ethics. I would probably be okay dating someone that was agnostic, since technically most atheists are agnostics. I could date most reform Jews, since for most of them it's a cultural religion, rather than a literal one.
I would not be able to date anyone that sincerely believed in a supernatural deity, because I would not be able to respect them, or trust any of their conclusions.
I'm laic.
What beliefs a person holds to themselves is indiferent to me. And it should not matter to anyone. Relationships are a negotiated endeavour, from both parts, where everyone gives a little to reach a mutual understanding.
Unless a person subscribes views capable of leading to individual, personal and socially harmful and regressive thought and action, it does not matter.
Removing the religious view from your question: would you date a vegan, not being one? Would you date a non vegan, being yourself one?
Zealotry goes both ways. Both the believer and the non believer can entrench themselves in their views so deeply they become fanatics.
As a former evangelical Christian, who also dabbled in atheism, antitheism, etc, I settled into something that's probably closest to Zen Buddhism mixed with atheism. I've been on dates with people, many of them I probably never knew their religion, but the gung-ho Christians and the Mormons showed their incompatibility very quickly. Funnily enough, ex-catholics dig me and I like them. :-)
I don't see myself dating someone who is theocratic, doesn't believe abortion should be allowed, or wants me to go to their church with them. I sometimes tell the story of the time I was figuring myself out and ended up going on a date with a girl who didn't believe in dinosaurs. I call her dinosaur girl. I wish her well, but man did I dodge a bullet!
Here's the fun thing about that question; it's basically 'Would you date someone you considered mentally insane?' Whether you are atheist considering dating Hindu, a Catholic considering dating a Zoroastrian, or a Buddhist dating a nihilist, this is a person who has a fundamentally different understanding of reality. Here's the real kicker; 'Is someone who has a distorted sense of reality capable of giving consent?' Can you even date them if you value consent?
I am strongly atheist, and I don't think I could ever feel like they were equal in intelligence, and respect someone who believes in total nonsense.
While I was in the process of disentangling myself from religion, the woman I lived with for nearly 10 years went off the deep end. Prosperity gospel. She became insufferable.
I made a much-needed escape, and met my wife a year later. She, like me, believes religion to be a social construct, intended to keep the masses docile and obedient.
Eww, no, I'd never date anyone with religious views.
Don't be a dick.
That basically my only requirement.
My life partner and I both considered it critical that our beliefs were strongly compatible.
We've been together for decades.
Our beliefs have changed substantially, and certainly not identically.
We're still together. There's so many more important things.
Fuck no. Organized religion is the source of most of the harms in the world. There is no man in the sky. You have no special blessing to be terrible to others.
Capitalism is responsible for most of the rest of the harms. And then a very small percent is the result of basically-bad people and mental health issues.
I mean, if you view certain controlling mechanisms that are weilded by terrible people as mere extensions of the terrible people, then it may be worth revising how much bad people have harmed the world.
Also I wish I could be as optimistic as you about how few terrible people there are in the world.
Sure. My parents had different religions and being an atheist I don't really have a duty to care about other people's religions.
Of course it helped that my parents weren't too seriously religious. And I've rejected religious people for having religion-tied views I find appalling. But the religion itself isn't the issue, just the things that sometimes result from it are.
It depends. I’m atheist/agnostic, but I have a lot of respect for certain core religious philosophies. Buddhism, Sikhism, and the teachings of Jesus (note that I did not say “Christianity”) in particular.
If a persons particular practice has an ethical, humanist core I can accept that. If it encourages any kind of blind appeal or deference to authority, I cannot. I can tolerate some mysticism and mythology, but I cannot tolerate unethical teaching, dogma, or behavior.
It depends on how passionate about their religion and how the aspects of that passion affects people around them.
I'm a former/non-practicing Christian, and I consider myself agnostic or atheist now.
I married someone with a religion from an entirely different family of religions than Christianity, originating in an entirely different part of the world. The way their religion really affects me day-to-day is that there are certain ingredients we don't keep in the home for cooking. Really not a big deal.
But I can see dating a zealot (from a different religion or not) could pose problems
It depends. My religious affiliation is likely therianthropy. I don't follow a traditional religion, and see it more as a spiritual practice, much in the same way that a trans person may deeply explore their gender identity--I am also trans.
My requirements are simple; Code of conduct, not a code of "facts". I will not engage with creation theories and such. It is an insult to science, and often resists fundamentally good change.
I also will not engage with a "Reddit atheist". I think this requires no further explanation--I was one.
What is a “Reddit atheist”? Are those the people who decry all religion as being inherrently evil and announce their atheism unprompted everywhere they go like Arch-using crossfit vegans?
Aye. I'm not proud of it. If you think about it, it's kind of just conservatism, just not in an expected way.
I've seen a few around here.
Growing and bettering ones self is what matters. Good on you for breaking the cycle. Not everyone can do that.
I've made it a goal in life to put more thought into things. It is indeed a major turnaround. Thank you for the kind words!
While I am not the previous poster, that's certainly how I'd describe it. The "I am euphoric" types who care only about the circlejerk.
Yes, if their core beliefs are the same. Kindness, compassion, generosity, etc.
