Just post something π
Sure, us Americans are obviously delusional, but can we talk about the fact that almost half of all brits think they would lose to a goose? They're 20 pounds, have no teeth or claws, and their bones are hollow. Have a little confidence, guys, I'm sure you can take poultry in a fight.
Have you ever been attacked by one of those demon spawns? They will not stop attacking you, you can boot it and it will just get up and continue, I'd rather fight a kangaroo, at least when you punch one of them in the face they back off, goose just gets angrier.
Almost half of Brits might not be as able-bodied as you might imagine.
I'm more interested in the rat fight, because I had my fair share of mouse encounters and rats are bigger, more dangerous and just as quick.
Actually, this does explain why all those brits in Untitled Goose Game let the goose walk all over them.
Now we know why life expectancy is lower in the USβ¦
I'm surprised by eagle being so low. Like, they don't exactly have a ton of mass, and can't pick you up. If you can avoid getting blinded, there's not a whole lot they can do to you that isn't superficial scratches. If you can grab them, it's over.
I think you are underestimating how much an eagle talon can fuck up your face and neck, and difficult it would be to restrain one unarmed.
Okay, I grabbed it and now it opened two of my arteries. What should I do next?
Everyone thinks they could win a fight against a little person until they find out heβs holding knives in each hand and another in his mouth. Also eagles are huge.
Most of an eagle's size is their wings.
It says 'unarmed' but it doesn't clarify if you're unprotected. I assume not and you're in the standard issue Spandex shorts of fighting. So I would likely bleed out as a result of everything past rat, which is hardly a victory.
I had a wounded squirrel I thought my cat had killed lacerate the fuck out of my arm once. My cat would not have been as stopped at the tendon like that squirrel. And she knew it.
Hand to hand? Up to and including a large dog. Only one animal at a time, mind you. And the dog would likely tear me up good.
Armed with whatever I can get at home? Maybe up to crocodile depending on the range.
For anything else, Iβm going to need to buy larger guns, or try to kill the animals with a vehicle. Depends on which vehicle and which animal. Not that I would willingly hurt anything on the list.
(The post said fight, it didnβt say βunarmedβ)
It did in fact exactly say βunarmedβ, assuming the image is accurate.
14 May 1805: Narrow Escape
One of their most harrowing experiences with a grizzly occurred on 14 May 1805, on the bank of the Missouri River between the Milk and Musselshell rivers. Clark wrote:
Six good hunters of the party fired at a Brown or Yellow Bear Several times before they killed him, & indeed he had like to have defeated the whole party, he pursued them Seperately as they fired on him, and was near Catching Several of them one he pursued into the river, this bear was large & fat would way about 500 wt
Lewis described the climax of the incident:
he pursued two of them seperately so close that they were obliged to throw aside their guns and poucnes and throw themselves into the river althoβ the bank was nearly twenty feet perpendicular; so enraged was this animal that he plunged into the river only a few feet behind the second man he had compelled to take refuge in the water, when one of those who still remained on shore shot him through the head and finally killed him.
When they butchered the animal, they found that a total of eight rifle balls had entered its body in different directions.
https://lewis-clark.org/sciences/mammals/bears/grizzly-bear-encounters/
You will not beat a grizzly bear unarmed. You might not beat a grizzly bear armed.
I love that the original word for bear has been lost to the annals of time because it was feared that saying the word for bear out loud would summon a bear and that was instant total party kill for everybody involved.
Bears are the original boogie men.
I'm way more confident in my ability to take a goose than a cat. Geese are mean and can hurt, but push come to shove I could tank that with adrenaline.
Cats will claw your eyes out.
anyone honestly saying they could win a fight with a bear is someone who hikes with a .45 and thinks that will do anything for them before the bear has already killed them
Graph is missing Australia..
I think they're the kangaroos.
The longer I look at this the more fascinating it gets. The fact that the bottom rows are not absolute zero across the board. The fact that the US respondents are well over 3% confident they could take on a grizzly unarmed. Is it just a social thing, always responding with confidence ? Or do they have no basic idea what a grizzly really is. Are these always the same people who think they can take on a bear and a lion? So many questions, so little data.
A human isn't doing anything to an elephant unarmed. Punchs? Kicks? You're not going anywhere near that trunk. It's like kicking a tank.
If the elephant was a scared little bitch. You could probably scare hunt it into exhaustion maybe, maybe
Over 30% don't believe they would prevail over a house cat.
Would like to hear their story.
My girlfriend's cat got very sick one day and we had to feed her through a tube.
Well one day she got better and decided that she wasn't going to put up with tube feeding. I am a 6ft, 230lb man and I shit you not, I had to put my entire body weight on her to keep her from squirming. Every ounce of my strength went into holding her down so that the tube wouldn't rip out of her throat as the food was going down. I couldn't believe how strong a kitty could be when you try to get them do do something they don't want to do.
So no I don't think I could take a house cat in a fight.
I feel I could walk away victorious from a fight with a cat, but I'll probably bleed out on my way to the hospital. Similar results to a knife fight.
Cats are literally made of weapons and they are very assertive about their rights.
I don't know what precise definition you want to use for "win the fight," but in think in most cases, you will either kick the cat before it attaches itself to you or else it will do a significant amount of damage for which you should go to the hospital and then take its leave. I think the second outcome is probably a lot more likely if the cat has decided it's go time and I would generally define that as "win."
I'll stop at eagle, but it would be a close match, and I'd need the ER. Eagles aren't heavy, and if you can get your hand around it's neck, it's all over--swing it like a chicken. A large dog would be a toss-up, and no one is beating a chimp. No one. More people could beat a cobra than a chimp. There was the video of the guy besting a kangaroo, but that would not be me. The rest are fantasy.
Look at all this shocking overconfidence.
Meanwhile, over in reality, Billy Big Balls is getting the tendon in his ankle severed in 0.3 seconds while screaming like a banshee and falling down. The only reason people look at even the high-percentage animals this way is that, 100% of the time in daily life, they have no interest in fucking you up for real.
Edit: Actually, there is one exception: I firmly believe the average person could fuck up a goose if they committed to it. Geese are pushy assholes with surprisingly sharp beaks and humans don't really like getting in life or death struggle with any organism, by and large, but I've seen a person seize a goose by the neck and the goose in question wasn't so intimidating after that happened.
Don't try us.
As long as you're okay with getting bitten and scratched to hell, the "shove your arm down its throat and suffocate it to death" method is surprisingly effective.
https://people.com/human-interest/travis-kauffman-mountain-lion-attack/
https://apnews.com/general-news-92375ef965ef46a69d9d65a4c4fc2645 (tbf, the bear fled in this case)
Any reason you shouldn't just break its neck? I mean, grab the neck near the head, jerk it very fast in any direction a gew times and you've turned an angry goose into a nonissue.
I was about to say that people seem extremely under confident about geese.
Yeah. They are scary, sure, but I think a lot of it is that they are clearly very fragile also, and so people are faced with either just letting themselves get bullied or else becoming a monster who's stomping on this tiny carcass and most people opt for option A.
Every single creature on this list would kick my ass no problem.
Please do not make me have to explain to my mother I lost a fight against a rat.
She'd understand if I lost a fight against a cat though. None of us win against an angry cat.