this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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Sure, us Americans are obviously delusional, but can we talk about the fact that almost half of all brits think they would lose to a goose? They're 20 pounds, have no teeth or claws, and their bones are hollow. Have a little confidence, guys, I'm sure you can take poultry in a fight.
They may not technically have teeth but they have a serrated beak.
You clearly donβt understand that British geese run in gangs and are shanked to their teeth.
And the fight would be harder than against a cat.
Wtf are those people smoking? Have they ever seen a domesticated cat in severe distress??
I would rather fight any bird than a cat.
I generally agree, but maybe not all birds:
Cats have FIVE pointy ends and an extremely powerful will to live.
Less than 80% of people think they could take on a rat in a life or death battle. You could literally pass out and fall on it and probably crit it.
Not everyone is a 15-55 year old able bodied person.
A good chunk of the population is disabled and mobility impaired. Large swaths of the population are elderly.
But if you miss you wake up with no face
MARIO STOMP!
Geese are terrifying though
If you know you will fight it, might as well just go for it and grab it's neck or something
Have you ever been attacked by one of those demon spawns? They will not stop attacking you, you can boot it and it will just get up and continue, I'd rather fight a kangaroo, at least when you punch one of them in the face they back off, goose just gets angrier.
kangeroos are pretty jacked though.
Yeah, but you crack one right in the face and they second guess you, they're lower body fighters.
Like, I'm not talking about fighting a big red kangaroo that's built like Brock Lesnar, just your normal grey kangaroo.
But even then those Brock Lesnaroos don't like getting punched in the face.
Only punch one if they start it tho, which they probably will, but don't be a dick.
Yes but you can kill a goose easily. The only reason they are a nuisance is because most people don't want the heat of killing them.
I had a goose come at me once. I held my jacket open like it was a giant set of wings and he ran like hell. I was not impressed.
"Oh shit!" -goose
Huh, a jacket you say. Well looks like it's round fucking 15 time goose!
Jacket? Have you tried a hammer?
Yeah, goose stole it and started hitting me with it.
Almost half of Brits might not be as able-bodied as you might imagine.
I'm more interested in the rat fight, because I had my fair share of mouse encounters and rats are bigger, more dangerous and just as quick.
I think of it more for the rat, that if it wants to itβll fuck me up, but Iβm more likely to kill it before it kills me.
The rat one would depend very much on what shoes I had on.
If I had my work boots on, Remy's getting punted across the room.
I mean, Americans have huge obesity rates, but apparently, nearly 20% of us think we can take a chimp. I'm sure a rat couldn't kill me, but I have no idea how I would catch one with my bare hands, so that feels like a draw to me.
Might be easier to catch if its literally gnawing at you and attacking you.
Most people would consider their opponent running away to be a victory.
I kinda assumed this was a cage-match, fight-to-the-death kind of thing. I think most animals would rather run away than fight you, unless you're encroaching on their territory or look like an easy meal.
Actually, this does explain why all those brits in Untitled Goose Game let the goose walk all over them.