this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
1096 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

16295 readers
694 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 5) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hi, I’m Leon! But you can call me the neo-nazi kid :D

I’m a proud white guy from South Africa (14 y/o in spirit).

I’m currently trying to fuck up the world and spread my genes hoping to be the new Hitler some day!

Do you want to have my kid? Haha just kidding. Unless…

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 80 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Elon needs to die for the good of the human race

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago

He and Trump. The world would be a much better place.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 101 points 1 month ago (7 children)

So this guy has time to be CEO of twitter, spacex, xai, starlink, tesla, boring company, head of DOGE and still has time to try to hook up with thousands of girls online? Something tells me CEOs are pretty useless if you can be running that many companies each week.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Did he add methamphetamines to his drug cocktail?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't forget he also doubled down on being in the top10 of PoE2 (which is ruled by nolife players that play 16 hours a day) yet he had the time to do that, I can't understand why anyone would ever trust a word coming out of his mouth ever. Pathological liar with a massive ego, hopefully the target of the next Luigi

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Yeah it's more hilarious: he's not hooking up with anyone, this is pure turkey baster going on.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How many heirs fighting in courts all over the world does it take to redistribute a multi-billioniare's wealth through court fees, lawyer fees, accountants, penalties, etc until none of them are supreme-wealthy anymore? Just never work again wealthy.

Even if some of them don't really want it, they could still find lawyers to fight on contingency and let them drain the wealth. Then donate whatever they might eventually get, if anything.

For example, Anna Nicole and her late husband's son effectively fed lawyers for years and years. Michael Jackson's estate has been tied up in litigation for decades. And Mike had 3 kids, Anna one surviving kid.

With over a dozen and counting Leon kids, and a ton of potential other types of suits incoming from world-wide plantiffs, it'll be interesting to see how that estate eventually gets drained and dispersed.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (5 children)

His money is basically incomprehensible to how we regularly think. If he hired a law firm to work on each case 24/7 for the entire year at $5000/hr, and then even if each inheritance case took 20 years and he had 50 children suing him simultaneously it'd cost him billions--but he'd still have hundreds of billions left. Fuck billionaires

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think net worth is pretty different of what real assets he may have which is what his descendants would inherit theoretically. But still ot eill be a truckload.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

He’s such a weird little creep

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago

What did I just read why does this dude exist

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

My contempt for this man has reached levels previously thought far outside the realm of possibility.

[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 month ago (1 children)

dear saint luigi: please please please end musk. and as many of his acolytes as possible.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “Those who are without a billion among you, let them be the first to lay the basket and fasten the frame for the blade.”

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hopefully they all end up like his daughter.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (3 children)

what's with billionaires and wanting to have so many bloody babies

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

SEX

They probably can't have normal relationships so they turn to physical ones

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Greed is a very survival based mindset. The more you have, the better your chances of survival is.

Once you’ve fully given in to greed, your mind starts thinking more primitively overall.

So having the most money and children is their idea of success.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Weird Nazi cult pseudoscience based on the science of natural selection - they actually think they are superior and have superior genes therefore it's in the best of the species that their "superior" genes propagate as widely as possible.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Weird, one would assume that guy owns a mirror in at least one of his mansions.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is it weird to anyone else that he just assumes his "legion" of children will follow him unquestioningly?

My dad keeps giving me stock "tips" (my stepsister works at a gold mine and he keeps telling me their stock'll go up any day now despite the mine not being in operation yet 🙄) and I haven't even followed through on that.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Which...uh....Au mine are we talking about?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

That was a mistranslation, stepdad is saying his daughter is a gold digger and she ain't messing with no broke... no, you know what, fuck Klanye, those lyrics should have been generally understood as a red flag.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›