Asklemmy

A few things help me.

Short commute, so no extra time spent getting to and from the office, and an electric bike that I enjoy commuting on.

Coffee and breakfast at my desk at work, not before going in.

Help at home - husband cleans after supper, and we have a biweekly cleaning lady so I'm not spending all weekend just catching up, can have at least a day to actually relax.

The people I work with are amazing, I like them so much and they like me and each other, it's a good group.

Taking all my PTO. I do a lot of Fridays off, and usually one solid week off at some point but using them to make short weeks/long weekends feels best to me.

If you really can't adjust maybe ask about doing the 40 as 4x 10hours not 5x 8?

Life is hard, and then you die.

And does it get easier to manage as you start to get used to it and make a routine?

European here. I worked many years for 40h/week and I never got used to it, really. There was not enough spare time in my life to enjoy it (especially, since commuting to work took off even more useful time). I neglected cleaning my room, postponed important appointments as much as possible and I was often too tired to do the things I love.

Since 2024, I now work 30h/week, completely from home. I have every Friday off and Thursday is a short day. My life has improved drastically. I am no longer tired all the time, I'm more motivated at work and I am actually capable of going to concerts, parties, cinema. It's amazing.

Every human is built different. I realized I absolutely cannot function having a 9to5 job from Monday to Friday.

Building a routine, and sticking with it helps a lot, as well as eating clean and exercising (which I need to get back into, lol). When you can nail a morning routine and carry that momentum through work, you'll be tired, but should have time to decompress after work every day and still get most of your chores done.

The key for me has been finding a job I don't hate, and I don't have to take home with me. Don't get me wrong, I don't LOVE my job, it's not what I'd like to do for the rest of my life or anything, but it's decently manageable most days and I don't have any outside of hours responsibilities.

As an added bonus, I've always been a second shift person ever since highschool and it still works in my life right now. This allows me to spend the hours I have the most energy at home doing what I actually enjoy like my hobbies and such.

I've been jobless for a year and recently found a job again as well. After my first day I was so exhausted, it was unbelievable. I literally came home after work, made and had some food, chilled on discord with a friend for an hour and was already too tired, so I went to bed after being awake for about 12h.

Starting a new job, a new chapter of your life is exhausting. You learn a lot of new things, you get a lot of new impressions. All this requires the gray matter in your skull to work pretty hard.

Now, even with mentally demanding jobs, you'll form routines that make things easier. Not just stuff like a morning routine or your route to work, but also work processes become easier after you get into the groove. On top of that, with time there are less new things you need to remember, like names of your coworkers, your offices layout, or what bus to take.

It gets easier with time. Hang in there.

now imagine having a girlfriend / boyfriends plus 3 little ones?

Luckily i dont yet that going on but i feel your pain sometimes. I tend to go to bed around 11pm and get up at 5am. Naturally without any alarms. So i have 2 hours in the morning, i tend to do smaller home duties and then after work, study for 1 hour (no more no less), eat and then chill on the couch. On the weekend, get all of your cleaning, errands do as soon as possible which will allow the rest of the day to hang out with friends, or whatever

My biggest advice that I wish more people would is to go to bed on Friday / Saturday / Sunday at the same time you would throughout the week. Dont extend your waking hours and be sluggish come Monday.

Also enjoy your life. It goes quick

Once you fall into a routine it will get easier.

First week is tough because you're learning the job, plus learning the best ways to travel, where to buy stuff, etc.

The first week at any job is always exhausting. There's a lot to take in, and a lot of active decision-making to do. It gets better fast when a lot of small things start going on autopilot.

Long commutes add to the suck.

That's the neat part, you don't.

Have you considered embracing homelessness? I wish i wasnt being serious but it is an option that if planned for instead of being forced into, is somewhat freeing. The van dweller community is growing extremely fast right now.

Others have offered fantastic advice, I'm not going to add anything from personal experience. I will share this link: https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/

Reading this isn't going to change your life, but I find it very helpful to reframe how you think about life. It deals more with the long term impact of having a full time job, outside of work in a way that worked for my brain. Hopefully you find it helpful but it's not a single solution.

i was on a similar situation recently, except boss wasnt so keen on curbing overtime (or paying us for it for that matter)

been working from home for almost 10 years, but in the post-pandemic world they refuse to let it happen now.

it gets easier to deal with as time goes on, but like, unionize. fuck giving our entire life to these leeches. also you don't need to work as hard as they demand you to. save yourself energy to do a bit of stuff for yourself.

Everybody’s working for the ~~weekend~~ oligarchs!

Great song

Imagine having children

And childcare eats 20%+ of your income

And your local government has made it illegal to terminate pregnancies

Nor will they support you after the baby is born

Grab your bootstraps youngin!

I'm not sure how I will make room in my life for anything else.

That’s the neat part - you don’t!

It does get easier as you adjust. I went from Uni Art classes, to full time Industry trade job at 55 hours a week. It feels like you have no time for you. You adjust to the me time being late evening or weekends only. A 4 day (40h) work week is a better life balance. A company I worked for out here started that after COVID

Try not to think too hard about how most of the evidence points to shorter work weeks being better on pretty much every metric.

Or that most of the "return to office" mandates are counter productive cruelty.

I think I saw an article that claimed most office workers in the UK do like 3 hours of work a day, and the rest is puttering and looking busy.

Our system is stupid and it's stuck stupid because of people. It's not physics. It's not biology. Like there's not much you can do to fix like humans need to eat and sleep, but the workday is just made up.

Because it gives me stability to enjoy life. Simple as that. One part of the life puzzle.

You’re still in bed at ten, your work began at eight.

You’ve burnt your breakfast, so far, things are going great.

Your mother warned you there’d be days like these.

But she didn’t tell you when the world has brought you down to your kneeeeeees!

That

I’ll be there foooor yoooooooou!

I think it will get easier after a few weeks. The mind is like a muscle, it will adapt to how hard you push it after awhile.

Im not joking here, working from 7am to 3pm feels sooo much shorter than working from 9am to 5pm. If you have the ability to decide your own work hours, then try to start earlier. Even starting at 8 instead of 9 is already a big difference in my experience.

When i was starting at 9-9:30 i always hovered around 0 in terms of overtime, now i switched to starting at ~7:30 and im easily racking up 4h of overtime per week, that i can then freely use to get off early from work on other days, and it doesnt feel like im pushing myself.

These working conditions are a privilege for sure so if you arent lucky enough to have that freedom just ignore what i said.

So okay here is what you do.

You get up, go to work, spend all day there, go home, stay awake too long, sleep too little, do it 5 days then try to catch up on lost sleep in the weekend.

This way you will get as little out of all your free time as possible, and eventually get depressed and/or have a mental break.

Good luck!

Congratulations, you're now a slave. Get back to work.

It only ever gets worse. Just wait until you get to do that new process you just learned for the 2,000th time while emails flood your inbox, bringing the unread count to 672.

I don't. At least not anymore. I used to have a 40 hour, Monday through Friday job, but I had to find something else or I would've ended up having a breakdown. I'm autistic, and my life has been a series of periods of trying to be the person society wants me to be, failing, and then spending several years burnt out and unable to function before repeating the whole process. If I hadn't been able to live with one of my parents during those burnout periods I would've likely ended up homeless.

I've found that I simply cannot work 5 days a week. Even 40 hours over 4 work days will eventually burn me out. So I found a job that offers 12 hour shifts, and I work weekends. I pick up one or two shifts during the work week when they're available. I average 32 hours a week.

It's unarmed security, and it works for me, even though it doesn't pay well. I've just accepted that I will be poor, and my life is much better this way. Capitalism has brainwashed us into believing that money is more valuable than time, and there's something wrong with you if you can't match what is expected of you.

Some of us never get used it it, because there's nothing normal about it.

For me it was finding joy in work.

I, partly, became a manager to help others develop. I’ve been fortunate and worked for a few companies that believe the company can’t be at its best unless we’re training others to do our roles, train up mentality. I found that it’s a major kick to see someone succeed in something they never thought they could achieve.

I’ve helped a guy making decent money, make a lot more, raise his credit substantially, and fulfill the dream of owning a home. That’s something he never thought he’d be able to do. He was stuck in the mentality of born poor, die poor. He just needed someone to show him how our capitalist systems work and how to take advantage of that. Not only is he making more money but he’s happier and therefore more productive and does better quality work. No other sense of accomplishment has come close for me than directly affecting others lives. It’s really something.

And echoing what others’ have said, you do build endurance to the hours and grind the more you do it. I can basically work all day and not feel tired until I finally relax. I’m fortunate enough to have a job that has shorter days to balance the longer and I’m not stuck in an office all day (which I HATE). Not all jobs are office only / physical labor only. The great thing about COVID is that it forced remote work and a lot more flexibility in a lot of industries. I’m more of a hybrid work is best for me person.

It also helps to build a solid daily, weekly, monthly routine or “battle rhythm” as the military puts it. This helps break up the monotony of the days while keeping you on track to succeed. Consistency is the major thing that separates those that accomplish their goals and those that don’t.

I’ve been at my job for less than a year, so I’m still learning new stuff here and there. I’m salaried too. When I’m working on processes I am familiar with - my job is cake. This week I took on a new and complex project and suddenly felt like you - why is this week so long and exhausting?! Give yourself a few months to get comfortable and your days will go by quickly.