"He was like a dildo in a lightbulb store: wasn't the brightest, but never failed to please his teacher."
this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2025
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I prefer, due to my white trash rural roots:
"That dog won't hunt."
I don't have a don't in this don't.
This is the true evolution
I don't have one horse size duck or 100 duck sized horses in this race.
"I don't have a horse in this dog": incoherent, fanciful, drunk
I don't have a fight in this race
"I dont have a horse in this fight" makes sense if context is Calvary charge. I dk im drunk.
And a dog in this race for greyhound racing
My two favorite malaphors:
- It's not rocket surgery.
- We will burn that bridge when we get to it.
I use those both regularly. And people seem totally unable to tell whether I am doing it on purpose.
Malaphor, my new favorite word Also: "she looks like she's been through the run of the mill"
"He looks like he fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down."
That’s all water under the fridge at this point.
Not sure what's the idiom with "fridge" in it.
There isn’t one, it’s a malaphor imposter!
Wow, that does provoke strong imagery. That's a great looking dog in a great looking race. I hope he wins.
"I don't have a race-fight in this horse-dog" : questionable morals; supernatural or sci-fi undertones; a good chance for double-takes, perhaps even the odd triple-take
I don't have a race-fight in this hot-dog
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
There's a YouTuber named Memoria Matters who has an inside joke that she's trying to popularize the idiom "too many dogs on the dance floor". I'm pretty sure it doesn't have any particular meaning, however. It came up quite a few times during her Alien: Isolation let's play, however.
Bada-bing!
Dammit, that's too fantastic to NOT be an idiom
Sounds like the name of the next hit single from Reel Big Fish
did someone say synthesis?
The older "Dog in the hunt" is a bit less grim.
Unless you're a fox...
"I'm not the sharpest crayon in the basket. "
"Does the pope shit in the woods?"
"I don't have any skin in this game"
Who's betting pieces of skin?
Antonio?
"I don't have a child with this horse."
I'm not a native English speaker, but in my experience "I don't have a horse in this race" seems more common.
I'm a native, and I'd agree. But it's a funny post so, I'll ignore that.
IMO, "dog in this fight" is more common where Ive lived: Appalachia, mid-Atlantic, Midwest. I wouldn't be surprised if it also varies by region, class, etc.
"Shit or get out of the kitchen" is my current favorite malaphor.
I use "We'll burn that bridge when we come to it" pretty frequently myself
"not the sharpest knife in the cookie jar"
Sure. It ain't rocket surgery.
i have no beef in this stew
“I don’t have a sea slug in this drive by.” Conjures images of underwater sea violence and muddies your message.