Programmer Humor
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
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- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
Boomers gonna love how this turns out.
Someone please make a backup
We tried guys, really we did. The vibe coding was working but it was sabotaged by liberals and Canadians. The only option is to end social security and put the poor and elderly into workhouses or send them to the shower blocks.
Calling it now - it will be written in such a way that Musk’s motley crew will be required to maintain it or update proprietary closed source components at extreme cost forever - practically guaranteeing he will always have full access to the data and be able to charge what he likes for any changes whoever takes power after Trump is gone.
It's going to be written using vibe programming
In JavaScript ⛈️⚡⚡⛈️⛈️ (Imagine this is like, a scary thunderstorm or smth, to add atmosphere to the words, idk)
This is going to really help government efficiency!
Can't wait to hear how the blockchain will factor into this redesign.
This is going to be such a ridiculous disaster that it'd be entertaining to watch it go to shit — if it weren't such a critical system they're fucking with.
Remember when people thought Elmo knew anything?
OMG like when he said the universe was definitely a simulation because he’d read it in a pop science article and the MSM reported it as an Important Story.
Pepperidge Farm remembers.
I 'member.
If there's one thing you want in a website used by almost 75 million beneficiaries it's a platform hastily put together by a crack team of geniuses--that don't password protect databases--"in months."
This is gonna go very very very poorly.
Well maybe the beneficiaries can edit their benefits themselves?
While (people exist) {give no money}
COBOL systems, when properly maintained, are highly reliable, with built-in redundancy and fault tolerance.
They can't have that because they want excuses when it goes down and leaves old people to starve and ruin their credit.
I've been party to dumping legacy systems and lift & shifts a few times.
Good fucking luck.
Knowing nothign about this, a project like this would take at least 2 years even if you are dropping a ton of use cases and dependencies.
Agreed (context: same legacy system work, 20 years), although given the size and scale of the tech debt involved, I'd peg it at 5 years if you had a team of 100+ COBOL developers.
10 to do it right.
Once you start dealing with databases older than SQL and languages older than C, things get funky real fast.
I wonder if it will be web scale
Every time I watch it, I giggle 🤭
Idk, something about the words "web scale" just sounds too funny
That takes me back
Yes. Because they'll store everything in MongoDB.
How does that have less than a million views? My team and I quote/use/reference it so often.
We also got fully self driving cars in 2 years though, in 2016....
I'm posting this from Mars colony. Amazing isn't it.
Basically, a VBA Excel file.