No Stupid Questions

Commit crimes for the greater good.

I’m curious what kind of human contact you’ve “tried” that didn’t work. There’s a world of difference between contact that is mediated through the context of work or planned leisure activities with relative strangers and organic meaningful interaction. Humans need to be social and feel useful to those around them. If that is lacking in your life, I suggest volunteering somewhere. Your local humane society almost certainly needs volunteers who can wash dogs and cats, or help visitors interact with the animals. Or there are likely a number of places you can volunteer to help people who are hungry or unhoused.

Seeing a therapist is probably the way to go here.

traveling to Asia is like 300 bucks, and hostels are $4 a day. food is a dollar a dish, and you can hang out in parks at the beach or at home and watch movies all day.

living abroad is much cheaper than what you're paying now.

you said you save most of your paycheck.

If you have a few thousand saved, you can easily live abroad for a year and figure out something you like to do more than a job that sucks around a bunch of people that you don't like in a situation that's making you depressed.

In your position I'd be donating some of that money that's otherwise sitting around doing nothing. But then again, I avoid tv and streaming shows like the plague and have actual niche interests that inspire me. I see people struggling, feel a fundamental urge to help them, and sometimes DO when I can afford it... And that shit is like a DRUG to me. Generosity feels fucking amazing @_@ oxytocin, adrenaline, serotonin, dopamine, it's ALL there!

Gym, Meditate, Therapy, Volunteer, Meetup, Hobbies. Any combination of these, at least 2.

Accumulating money doesn't count as character building nor living. Spend money wisely, but do spend it. Wisely is subjective, but see above for what I think that means in this context. Good luck.

Edit: wording.

I grew up poor in a semi remote Native reserve in Canada in the 1970s and 80s. The first ten years of my life my parents were still basically living off the land and most of what we ate was wild food. I didn't even have that many sweets or junk food which saved my teeth when I was young.

Then as a teen, I had to fight and claw my way through life in order to get anything. Sure we got 'free' help for food, health care, dental, eye and education ... but it was just barely enough for me to barely get through high school. At the end of it all, I still had no prospect of making a living on my own in my own home community .. I had to leave in order to survive. Even after then, I had to fight every step of way to make a living and fight off my old community members who thought I was being 'too white' and the non-Native people who thought I wasn't 'white enough' ... it was completely messed up.

After fighting through all that crap into adulthood, I met someone I fell in love with who wanted to do the same things I wanted to do. We didn't make that much money but we figured out how to travel to over 30 countries over 25 years. About six years ago was our last trip because we caught a virus that make us sick and cough our lungs out ... it was terrible. It took me about three months to get over it. My wife never got over it and now sits at home with chronic lung disease. It's left us at home and we can never leave again.

The reason why I am saying all this is is that you have the world by the tail ... you've got everything. You have a job, shelter, a bit of money and you are young and capable.

Give yourself about ten or 20 years and you will feel less and less like doing anything and then it will all be over. Once you get to a certain age, you will feel like 'hey, I think maybe I want to do something' but by then, it will be too little, too late and you won't have a choice and you will be stuck in your apartment or house or home or whereever you'll be and just sit there and wait for death. The entire time you'll be sitting there, you'll be regretting that you never did anything and that you never went out and tried just doing the bare minimum of excitement.

I feel terrible that I can no longer do much and that I have to stay at home taking care of my wife. I love her dearly but I would much rather we both head out into the world and just go somewhere, anywhere as far as money would take us. I really never cared if where I went was warm, dry, hot, cold, wet or miserable or absolutely fantastic. Sometimes, the best part of the trip was coming back home and realizing just how wonderful and fantastic home really was compared to many places in this world.

The only thing that doesn't make us completely miserable and regretful is that we did go out there and take in as many sights, sounds and tastes as we could afford. It was fantastic. We saw the Acropolis hill, the pyramids, Machu pichu, St Peters, the Mediterranean, buddhists temples in asia, indian landmarks, dozens of cheap motel dives in the US and Canada, the oceans on every side of North America and so much more ... all for as little money as we had.

Now that we can't move or go anywhere any more ... we look at old photos and reminisce about every trip we ever took.

Go out there and go as far as you can possibly go ... then when you get old and grey, you can be as sad as you want but at least you can look back on all the great things you saw.

Anti-depressants might help.

Marijuana constant masturbation and an overabundance of YouTube reality shows.

That got you right back on your feet.

(This is a joke)

I can't emphasise how badly you need to travel. I'm old and very well travelled, much of it for work, like easily 20 countries all across the globe and it has been a huge eye opener to experience different cultures, foods, make friends with fellow travellers, locals and has broadened my horizons on so many fronts.

Yes it can be expensive but it is something you will never regret if you can scramble the money together for it. Embrace it. Deeply.

If you're in North America you can experience lots of cultures and experiences like the national parks in the US very reasonably. I'm guessing you're not in Europe because travel is cheap AF here.

I honestly think it will bring down many of the current barriers you express.

My answer isn't gonna resonate. It's so frustrating how being depressed makes getting off the couch to go for a walk just feel like... Jumping into a mosh pit ot something.

Find a 2 mile walk to do every day. Must include at least one hill or set of stairs or something. Works best if in nature.

Op why don't you suggest what an acceptable reply looks like? You're pretty restricted on what type of advice you're seeking. Maybe then folks can ad libs in the thing that will help.

Get a pet, you need a distraction and to look outwards a little bit perhaps. Mine give me a point since I enjoy their antics and need to be around to sustain them

Only do this if you're going to be responsible tho. There's enough deadbeats with pets that shouldn't be trusted with an egg-timer let alone a moving, breathing, lifeform

I have no suggestions for you, but I at least wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in this world. I hope you find whatever you are looking for.

Sounds like you are dealing with an existential issue. Personally I've dealt with this by learning and teaching others, through this I feel I have found purpose. I also find it through political activism and volunteer work. There is nothing as fulfilling as helping others just because you want to and can.

Therapy.

These are classic signs of major depression.

Maybe try fostering a pet and see if you want to adopt one. They give me meaning and joy.

I would also recommend traveling. It costs money, but you can find good deals, and it's worth it.

You’re going to get a lot of advise about what makes life worth living, but it sounds like you have low level depression. Talking to a therapist and looking at an antidepressant are your first steps, along with the other things that can help with low level depression.

There are some decent comments here overall with stuff I bet would help you. But it sounds to me like you have lost the appreciation and rewards from life and the world around you. I would wonder if you have undiagnosed anxiety.

This isn't going to sound great probably, but the problem isn't the world around you, it's just you. The good news, 'you' is the only part of this you can fix. The rest, totally outside of your control.

You need to retrain your brain. Slow down to appreciate the smaller things. Even the tiniest things. Read up on the raisin technique. I think raisins are kind of dumb, but apply it to everyday things. Go slow. Examine. Savor. Eat slowly. And with each bite think of the process that got that very thing into your mouth. From growing the ingredients, raising, milking, whatever. The process and storage, maybe inspection, transporting it to the store, you buying it and cooking it. The skill it took to do that and the history of you cooking to get there. It's an awful lot packed into each bite. Do that with as many bites as you can. Be mindful. Repeat it. You don't need a different thought every time. Just keep thinking it through. And apply that to more things throughout your day as you're able to. It's not an overnight process but it's much faster than you might think to regain the value, passion for things. Do this people as well. Forgo the NPC thoughts, and delve in. How they got to be who they are. Ask questions over time and build a mental roadmap.

That's pretty much it. I could have easily written your post word for word a decade ago. With therapy and general learning, fighting anhedonia was a process. And still is. But I do appreciate things and I look forward to things. I often look forward the most to me not being me tomorrow but a slightly better version of me.

Life has no point, you’re just energy given form (literally, not metaphorically or superstitiously or some shit, mass and energy are the same thing)

Hedonism is easy to fall into, and arguably fine, if you don't find life worth living but can't muster the enthusiasm to end it, you should try to change your environment.

For me, life is worth living for stories, I love books and the experience of being something different for a time. I have built my life around lazy evenings on the sofa with my cat on my lap reading a book, or playing a comfortable game, nothing else matters to me at all. It's easy to be content if your requirements are minimal.

Life is an odd phenomenon, we're blessed or cursed with consciousness, may as well do something you enjoy. If you don't know what you enjoy then try more stuff.

There is no point to living. For every single reason someone found, someone else doesn't care about that at all. If there is a point to living, we haven't found it yet.

That said. Try self-improvement. Read about psychology. Analyze your own mind. You might find some stuff pointing you towards something.

For example. Why do you say "I save most of my paycheck. What for? I have no idea" and "I don’t want to travel because it costs money" just a few sentences apart? This doesn't make any sense. You save money for nothing yet you don't travel because it costs money? To me, this suggests some conditioning you're a victim of, something like just following some predefined set of rules because someone (probably parents) once said "you should be saving money" and "you should not spend money on unnecessary things". But these are just arbitrary beliefs. You don't have to follow them.

Or. Are you afraid of something? But kinda would like to do it if it wasn't scary? Go do it. What have you got to lose? Nothing matters anyway, right?

You might just notice if you do these two things, there is actually stuff to live for, you just haven't found it because you either had social conditioning or fear that stopped you from it.

Sounds like depression. If you have some savings, it might be worth it to see a therapist to find out.

Or find one thing in the world to make better.

so you lack enthusiasm and ideas huh

you need to find a spark, something that drives you and makes lost in the moment

explore your likes, interests, values. Go from there. I know you said you don't care, but your lack of care and enthusiasm is your current jailor so perhaps start working on the keys

Volunteer, seriously, this changed my life. Maybe a dog rescue, or some political fight.

I sometimes feel this as well. Without my family, my hobbies, my job, and my vices I’m totally empty, and I do have a religion.

Bill dropped his keys on the counter and stood there staring at them, suddenly thinking about all the times he’d thrown his keys there before, and how many days of his life were wasted repeating the same tasks and and rituals in his apartment over and over again. But then he wondered if realistically this was his life and the unusual part was his time spent doing other things.

Do you drink or take other drugs? Those can make you feel empty.