No Stupid Questions

Therapy.

The hobbies are being suggested because you clearly need a new element to spice up your life. Tbh i always felt the same way as you did, barely satisfied by what life has to offer. My answer to this is distraction, i cannot really sell you on why its the answer its just that deep down I know that novelty is the only aspect of life that has the potential to enrich it. Pick a new source of distraction that offers bottomless rabbitholes.

Get a dog and pamper it.

Could it be depression?

Anyways, would you be able to recall at the end of the day something nice that happened to you, even if small? Gratefulness is my personal path to inner peace doesn't matter if big or small. And even if you decide to not take this path, you can use the memory of that good moment to 1 make it happen more often, or 2 invest your time/thoughts to make it even better next time it happens or 3 follow up and build on top of it.

How’s your anxiety level? Depression and anxiety are linked pretty closely and with you mentioning the expense of things that sticks out to me you might have other issues.

It sounds like a mental health evaluation would benefit you, honestly. I would not want to be alive today if not for medication.

I still don’t feel like doing anything or being with anyone but I don’t feel worthless.

I hope you can find something that helps

Well the only thing you said you liked doing is cooking so perhaps you should experiment with that more. Also it sounds like you do a lot, hardly what I'd describe as an empty life. Maybe try doing less. Boredom drives people to creativity, that might help you find something else you like doing.

So you‘re boring, arrogant and not interested in anything. Gotcha. Still enough to do for somebody like you, no worries:

Okay, you do like cooking. If that’s something you enjoy you might want to improve it. Watch some cooking videos on YouTube. Read some books about it. Experiment a bit. Bring some of it to work for your colleagues that aren’t total morons. No sweat, no pressure, just have a bit of fun.

Okay, so you do sport in your freetime. Good. Maybe set goal for something. If you are into running you could train for a marathon or just for a random sportsevent in your area.

What music do you listening to? Are there concerts of bands you like nearby? Or a bit farther away, giving opportunity for a nice weekend trip? You don’t have to stand right in the middle, you know. Just jam to the music where’s a bit more space around you.

Get a pen and a notebook and write what comes to your mind. Honestly, I can’t stress enough how important that is. Go. Write. Old style analogue. Bring order to your thoughts. Or the opposite, just vomit them on page. As long as you write.

Buy a motorcycle and drive around. With aim or without.

Learn to mix cocktails and or get into whiskeys.

Learn to build a pc and buy the new monster hunter or just some other game you like.

Learn bushcrafting and to wildcamp and sleep in a hammock beneath a tarp in the mountains / down by the river / at the local park.

I wouldn’t recommend it it to somebody else, but: Pay prostitutes for sex. You have money and that’s the most effortless way for sex that requires the least human interaction. No clubbing, no flirting, no dating. Perfect for you.

Visit lost places. Climb on cell towers or building cranes at night and enjoy the view. Go for a night swim. Go rooftopping.

Set a goal to do something crazy every day. Or something kind. Or both.

I would recommend travelling, but I think you’d be still bored and uninterested just at a different place. However I think it can be Eye opening to see how people live somewhere else.

That’s pretty much it. Good luck.

Edit: alternatively post comments with your pr0n alt-account. Live dangerously.

Change one thing just because you can. Take a different way to or from work, whether it is walking (and leaving much earlier), or a different bus/train or car route.

Listen to your favourite songs... look at the birds around you. Borrow a book from the library and read it, one bit at a time. Make the choices in your life, deliberate and DIFFERENT. Break your routine. Feel human.

Then you can choose to join a casual sports team, a minecraft server, something else for human contact.

Figure out what feels the most rewarding, and spend more time doing that. Learning a musical instrument, making art, or whatever else. Also, maybe get a pet.

Try this book.

"Discover What You Are Best At" by Linda Gail. I always had jobs, and never particularly liked working. I did the tests in the book and got pointed at a job I actually enjoyed doing.

Even on rainy Mondays I didn't hate having to leave the house.

Having a job you like solves a lot of your problems.

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-survive-midlife-blues

Depending on how old you are, you might just be hitting the normal midlife low point. It hit me hard in my late 30s and I spent a lot of time reading about it once I found out it was typical. I think a lot of it has to do with the rate at which you're experiencing milestones and life changes. It feels like you are constantly progressing in your life up to your 20s or 30s and then the time scale suddenly shifts. Things take much longer to advance - saving enough for a house or retirement, that next promotion (assuming you even want one), major family changes, etc.

Understanding that helped me recover somewhat, though it still took a couple of years. I'm still in that lull, trying to figure out what I really even want to do next, but I don't feel sad about it anymore. I don't know if this applies to your situation, but I found it really helpful to learn about it.

You, my friend, need an adventure. Any adventure, even if it sounds small and dumb.

I creeped your post history (sorry) - did you end up taking that bus trip you talked about a few months back? If so, what was that like? If not, any reason why you feel you shouldn't do it now (or soon)?

I've felt like you before, at least the way you're describing it. My solution was mundane adventure - walk a stupid amount to a place you could easily get to by car. Strike up conversations with strangers by leaving your phone alone re: directions/things of interest/etc. unless absolutely necessary. Set yourself some boon to obtain - a beer at Pub X, a meal at place Y, whatever - and make the journey a little less convenient/a little more scenic than you might do by default.

The above isn't for everyone, obvs, but take the idea of an adventure or 'quest' and see if anything strikes you. It can be as grand or mundane as you want it to be.

Just one option among others.

I'm like an atheist monk.

you might be having SzPD. I'm not saying that but you might think about it.

I don't want to travel because it costs money.

I don't spend much money on clothing or media and save most of my paycheck.

then why don't you use some of those to travel? There are ways to travel less expensively. I had a phase like this when I was a college kid and I saved up the small scholarship (much less than an actual job) and travelled, which did something that depression meds couldn't do then. ymmv though.

Edit: most important part. Yes, there is a way. I am in no position to claim to know what is going to help you, but I do know this: there is another way to live. Following is what I have tried and it worked

Been around there, it really is not a good place. Time to look inside. You only have so much time left to live, and only so much energy to do things. As to what can be done, then if possible, take a good break: quit job, buy food, then just stay home. No books, no TV, no speaking to anyone, no internet, no games, no nothing. Your mind will go wild for some time, but then you will recover and see life with more clarity

And for the big picture - look inside. If you were to die today, what would you do? Whom would you speak to one last time? Where would you go if distance was not an issue? What do you want to be done with your dead body? (If the answer is "nothing, I don't care", I would strongly suggest go see a doctor. Depression does not just go away)

Also, remember this every day: tomorrow morning, you may not wake up. Today you woke up, but a day will come when you don't. Remind this to yourself. Slowly this will change your perspective

If you happen to feel like talking - message or ping me, I will answer as fast as I can

is there any way to stop this

There’s pretty much every way. Work, eat, shower, sleep is such a minimal place to start that if emptiness is your issue, I feel like you could go in any direction you want and do better.

Maybe no one ever told you this so I’ll try. There is no objective meaning to life or purpose for it. The meaning is up to you to make. I don’t think any path whatsoever (therapy, volunteering, art, hobbies, dating, travel, whatever) will work unless you take responsibility for the problem. If you are hoping for others to provide the genius answer, or looking for some global perfect answer or “meaning of life” then you aren’t taking on the responsibility yourself.

You have to do that or nothing else can work. This thread might be a start. You did ask. Now you need to put the time into the many fine suggestions here.

Don’t take them in turns and try them “to see if they work.” That’s still the main problem of assuming the answer is outside of you somewhere. Instead, take them in turns and put everything you’ve got into them. If you can do this, any of them will work.

If we end capitalism then human life has intrinsic value again instead of a sticker price

I started to feel a little better and like i understand myself a little better after watching some videos from here : https://www.youtube.com/@OurTimelessWisdom/videos

specifically the ones featuring carl jung, havent watched others yet

I've seen this more than a few times, as well as felt it myself. It's a particular form of situational depression.

In short, the solution is to "find your tribe".

Your problem is 2 fold.

• Humans are a social animal. We need a group to socialise with, to be stable and happy. The requirements vary, but it's almost always non-zero. The lack of meaningful contact sends us into a downward spiral.

• 99% of people are boring to you. This is actually completely fine and reasonable. Unfortunately the 1% that aren't boring to you tend to be hard to find. Even worse, weirder people tend to mask. They pretend to be normal and boring to fit in.

The goal, therefore, is to find what 1% you need and where they congregate, with their masks down. They are out there, you just need to find them. You do this by trying new hobbies and activities. Most won't hit the mark, but some will resonate with you. It's OK to try a lot of things before you find it.

For me, it was a makerspace. I actually ended up founding one, since there wasn't one locally. I've seen a number of other people come along and discover there really is a group of weirdos that they fit into that aren't boring. They, in turn, add their brand of weirdness to the group and make it better for all involved.

Without knowing more about you, I can't point you in the right direction. I can say they are out there. You just need to find them.

Go find your tribe.

Edit to add:

You preferably want to find somewhere in person, not online. There is a lot of social feedback that our minds need, that gets lost with online communication. Online is better than nothing, but it's a service station mac Donald's compared to a Michelin star restaurant.

It's like I don't give a crap about anything or anyone

Well, there you go. This is most likely the culprit, and it is something one can train. If caring does not come readily, you’ll have to train it, just like reading, writing and other human skills.

Good luck.

Allow yourself enjoyment. Do things.

Enforce 'this was fun'.

Sounds stupid and piling responsibility on you. I'm sorry about that. But maybe this can help you. I've been there.

Idk if you'd consider it a "hobby" (even though I'd say that has more consumerist connotations), but I'd strongly suggest finding a creative outlet. Personally I believe that there's no such thing as an "uncreative" person, it's just that most people never get the opportunity to learn a creatively rewarding skill well (and even when they do, many are left with no time/energy after work). It's a catch-22. Still, unless you want to keep being a cog in the machine you gotta sacrifice something.

Also, art (in a general sense) is a lot better with human contact, idk what you're talking about that is "doesn't work". You gotta find like-minded people. Sometimes you're lucky and meet like-minded people by happenstance, sometimes you gotta go out of your way to find them (even if by saying it like that I still feel like I'm underplaying how hard that can be).

A final but perhaps more important suggestion is, learn about something. Instead of binging another tv show every week, mix it up with some educational internet browsing, or books, or perhaps you enjoy videoessays more. Again, an environment where you can meet people is better, but higher education has also turned into a human grinder that spits out ready-made workers for the machine so I can't sincerely recommend it. But it could still be worth considering (depending on where you are... definitely not worth a 100k debt).

TL:DR find ways of satisfying your inner curiosity and creativity.

Books, podcasts, niche youtubers, video games. Jusy keep trying different subjects until you find something that interests you. Learning is usually a draw for a lot of people. You could also try volunteering in some way. Maybe that will be more fulfilling.

Okay. Hear me out.

Minecraft and cough syrup.

Most people bore me.

I don't want to say that there aren't boring people, but c'mon... You're no troubador yourself. People don't exist to keep you from being bored.

Living for the sake of not dying is not a living itself. People find meaning in lots of things: art, religion, bullshitting, pushing the bounds of knowledge, making loved ones laugh.

The meaning we make is our own and we share that living journey with a few others. It can be amazing and difficult and complicated. It's rare to have someone truly get you, but we put ourselves out there because get got is so good.

Is there anything that you would like to do, any bucket list items etc?

Honestly, if you're in the US especially, mutual aid might at least be interesting. You can try Food Not Bombs or MADR or a regional/local org.

There's pscilocybin or MDMA for a break from the shitshow or even a guiding light.

Therapy is kind of difficult since it's expensive and you need to sift through multiple therapists to find one that clicks with you. It's the most likely thing to benefit you as long as you find the right one. Maybe antidepressants will help?

At the end of the day you have to choose something to do for meaning. Change is going to take months or years. Silver bullets are the rare exception.

Have you tried getting a pet?

Having another life to care for can give your life meaning.