Lost_My_Mind

joined 1 year ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

Me: starts reading.

Me: about a quarter of the way in....huh?

Me: skims the rest of the message. Huh???

Me: I don't get it. I'll just make a dry unfunny joke, and hope that being meta self reflective joke about it will confuse people into thinking it's funnier than it is.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Oh they HAD enough children. The majority just died early. Disease, fire, cliffs, dinosaurs eating them. It was rough.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

This is like someone who has faulty math, faulty logic, and fails on every level of a mathematical process. They have nothing but errors when they show their math, but somehow come up with the right answer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Well, in the early 2000s, WWE had a faction called Evolution. Ric Flair was part of it.

So yes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Here in America the bike lanes are painted red because thats the blood of bicyclists who are hit staying in their bike lane. As our drivers are swerving lanes as they watch tiktok on their phone while driving.

"BUMPBUMP!! Hey! Whoa! That's a weird place for a speed bump....."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 hours ago

Careful with that. You might get put on a list.

I remember in the 90s I had a system. You know those yellow sticky notes? Well I kept some in my bookbag for school. If I needed something, I wrote them down, and then on the weekend I'd put the sticky note on my door so I'd remember what I needed to grab from walmart.

Each of these items had COMPLETELY unrelated reasons that I was buying them. I wrote them down on unrelated days. At completely different times. With zero thought connecting them. However, I realized as I stepped in line what I had just done. I abandoned my cart entirely, and just LEFT.

I didn't go back to that walmart for 3 years.

As I stood in line, with items in my cart, I realized I was about to buy:

1 box of 36 gallon trash bags

1 pack of sharpie markers

1 pair of scissors

1 container of draino

2 gallons of bleach

1 gardening shovel (the little ones that are 6 inches and a handle)

1 coloring book aimed at preschool children

1 jar of glitter

3 bottles of elmers glue

1 jug of orange juice

36 hersheys cookies & cream candy bars

1 pack of 3 pairs of dishwashing gloves

1 box of 10 condoms

1 box of cheerios

I saw that, and thought "holy shit! This looks like I'm about to have some kind of cult ritual sex, kill them, clean up the scene, bury the body, and then have breakfast!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 hours ago

enters the lottory

What? Is that not how this works?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 hours ago

I can see that. Vance will be one. DeSantos will be another. Musk might even get in on it.

If I were Hillary Clinton, I'd just troll them, and run as a republican.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 hours ago (4 children)

Here's the thing. Trump is just a poster boy. The real problems will continue long after he's dead. There will be further assholes. Trump is a puppet. The string puller will last on.

We need to address the core root, not the symptoms.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

Sequal idea: Same map. Same characters. New added characters. Expanded map area.

But here's the catch. If you want to know where any given character is on a non-event day, just stalk them on that day. If you see a person is at the beach on a Tuesday at 8pm, they will ALWAYS be on the beach at 8pm on non-event Tuesdays.

What if we introduced a needs system? Lets say Marnie needs love. Well she'll go find the mayor. But maybe she needs to shower more than she needs love. Well, now she's going home, showering, THEN she'll go find Lewis.

And each characters needs meters are unique. For example, Pam and Shane could have alcohol needs. But Jazmine might be aged up from age 5 to age 13. She wouldn't have an alcohol need. But she might have a need to be hugged. In which case, she'd go find Penny.

And maybe we introduce visitors. Create like 4,000 sprite models, and have 20 visitors each day visit the town. That way, it's not the same people visiting everyday, but there's always some people visiting.

Maybe make more visitors on Fridays/Saturdays/Sundays, and less visitors Monday and Tuesdays.

And you could tie the games economy to the visitors. The more they spend, the more the local shops can upgrade their shop. But they get incentivized to come spend money based on what quality those shops carry. Which in turn is based on what you sell (or don't sell) them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Ehhhh, just hit the gym! You'll get stronger.

 

How is that even possible???

If he wanted to, couldn't spez just buy it, and make it serve as a redirect to reddit? I don't understand how SOMEONE hasn't bought/used this domain for fediverse purposes.

16
Curls (lemmy.world)
 

So, I started going to the gym about a month ago. Doing dumbell curls I started at 10lbs. I tried 50lbs at first.

Mistake!

Sized down until I got to 10lbs. I was looking for the first one I could do 20 reps. Then, as days went on, I kept moving up sizes. I'm currently at 25lbs. I keep wanting to move up to 30lbs, but my body gives way around the 12-15 rep range. So, not quite there yet. But the first 10 reps of 25lbs aren't even hard anymore. It only gets increasingly more difficult after the 10 mark, but more often than not the 15 mark. 15-20 are the hard ones.

But with 30lbs it's hard right from the start.

So, should I be doing the 30lbs reps, even if its less than 20 reps? Or do the 25lbs reps which I can easily do 3/4ths of before it becomes a struggle for the last few reps?

 

I figure if we make this the standard and normalized way to refer to these tariffs, then it will really drive home the point to republican voters that THEY did this. THEY are getting hurt by their own party. Because I'm sure right now they're trying to find a way to blame obama, or biden, or hillary, or kamala, or whomever.

Fuck that.

Your goods now cost more because of trump tax. Plain and simple. It was an uneeded and nonbeneficial policy set by trump and no one else, in his obsession with hurting china.

Well I don't fully disagree that china needs to be dealt with, as they're becoming a global powerhouse that threatens to dominate the global ecconomy. I get that. But these tariffs are like trying to kill a house fly with a handgun. Even if you somehow hit the fly, you do more damage to your own home for no reason in the process.

 

Ok, so here's what you do.

Step 1) You take out a sketchpad. You come up with concept art for an outfit/costume you can wear to parties. This costume is not something based on other influences. It's not something that's kind of like something else. It's not something that you'd say "Oh, this would belong on this tv show, or movie". It's completely unique. It stands out. It has a presence all in it's own. You wear it, and it looks good on you, and people remember the outfit. If Spiderman were real, and he just showed up to a party, you'd be like "Whoa, look at THAT guy!". Your costume doesn't need a mask, and in fact would probably be way better without a mask. Just a guy/girl at a party, doing their thing, and completely stealing the show just by being there. That's step 1. Buckle up, because it only gets crazier from here.

Step B) Hire about 10 people to walk everywhere with you. Like an entourage. Have them basically simp you in public. Except the idea is that nobody knows they're paid actors. From the general publics point of view, you're just some guy at a party, and these people love you for some undefined reason.

Step ∆) Now you release T-Shirts of you. And your simps all have the released T-Shirt on. And now you also hire another 10-100 actors. These ones will NOT hang around you as if they're in your circle. These new actors just spread out amongst the party. And they too are also wearing your new T-Shirt. So now there's 10 people all wearing the same shirt, all following you around, and another 10-100 people all single, and drifting about the party, all wearing that shirt. So now it looks like your inner circle love you, but so do the general public. And these shirts can be purchased for $80 each.

Now do this same set of steps every weekend, at every party, and really fuck with peoples perception of what the fuck is going on? All these people bought an $80 T-shirt for some guy? What is happening right now, and also, who IS that guy? You could also adopt a stupid show name, like Princess StinkyPooButt. Even though you're a 6'1 250lb guy with a beard and no legs.

And now the question becomes: "Will idiots buy an $80 T-shirt of absolutely nothing?"

As I look around the world today, I see a lot of idiots. I like my chances that I'm going to sell some stupidly overpriced T-Shirts of bullshit.

 

Maybe then she'll SHUT UP! Oh my god, is there a single person on this platform who doesn't get these messages every month???

Guys, you all KNOW what I'm talking about, right? Gonna have to go get Tim Misney on this case! And you KNOW what he DOES! eyebrows

 

It would show one of the Cox internet installation technicians as he has various shots of him doing his job, but also talking to the camera. He's the traditional image of what women want is. He's like 6'5, 320lbs of muscle.

"Here at Cox, we've been installing more homes with Cox high speed internet service, and connecting more people to the web. That means more photos, more videos, more video games, and more connections all across the county! With services like Zoom video conferencing more Cox customers are able to work from home than ever before. Bringing more people together by putting Cox services inside your home, inside your life, and inside of you. With an entire internet to explore, billions of websites, apps, home automation, and so much more. With so many pricing options, won't you let us put our Cox inside you?"

Then it cuts to two other Cox techs out by the van outside, getting a ladder. And the one guy says "Is Tom hard at work in there?" and the other guy replies "He literally might be..."

 

First time you start the game, grandpa is on his deathbed dictating a letter to you. It's kind of weird we see him talking, but this is supposed to be a letter. Are we the player made to believe that the main character is imagining his grandpa saying this as he reads?

Anyways, the reason you can tell it was made in the 2010s is, one of the first things grandpa says in the letter is:

There will come a day when you feel crushed by the burden of life

And you can tell that was last decade, because I assure you, anyone living on THIS side of 2020 has absolutely passed that day long ago.

Life is agony and it'll never get better. Everyday is just a new low. And you're in 2020 thinking surely thats rock bottom, right? And then 2025 is like:

"Buckle up shitbag, because we're about to take a fucking nosedive."

With all the crap going on in the world right now, comfy cosy games like stardew valley are about all that's keeping me hanging by a strand.....but at least there's a strand.

But seriously, if grandpa could see 2025, he'd be like "holy shit I threaded the needle between 2012, and 2020, and peaced out at just the right time."

 

Look at a map. Look right above Michigan. See that splotch of land right above Michigan? Yeah....that's ALSO Michigan. It looks like it should be Wisconsin on account of how obvious it is. But no. Michigan is just like "This is also ours because we lost a war to Ohio and so now we need a consolation prize."

Who the fuck did Wisconsin piss off to allow THAT SHIT??? Oh, just because we're not officially a state yet, you're taking our territory away??? The damn paperwork was already being drawn up with maps that CLEARLY included that land....because, obviously!

But noooooooooo! Michigan just had to be like "WAAAAH, WE WANTED OHIOS LAND AND LOST, SO NOW WE WANT THIS OTHER LAND INSTEAD!!!"

And the Wisconsin territory is supposed to just be like "Oh, yeah, cool cool cool."

So I say, fight back! But, raising an army is hard and expensive. Plus, I don't even know if there even stands a current protocol to follow for raising a regional military. Does that even exist anymore? So for the sake of not being accused of inciting violence, for the rest of this message, this war will be a TICKLE WAR!!!!

Yeah! Wisconsin needs to gather all their citizens, and grab their feathers, because it's time to tickle michigan!!! Make em giggle like little bitches!!! And then you get the land back! Then maps can stop looking stupid. There should never be a time that a map salesman should have to say "No, that actually is the official border. Nope, not a mistake."

 

Ok, so......I was just watching some youtube videos, right? Turns out gorillas are amazing. The gorillas at your zoo remember you. They act different around zoo regulars. They enjoy seeing the regulars, as if they're friends. They can tell the difference between a child actually crying as opposed to a child PRETEND to cry. They get worried when their regulars children are crying for real. It stresses them, because they're behind a glass wall, and can't comfort the child. They put their hand against the glass as if to show they want to be there for the crying child. But if the "crying child" were just faking, the gorillas would sense it was fake, and they'd play and roll around. As if to be part of the fun. So gorillas are really smart who understand the world they're seeing. They have empathy. They see life the way people do.

And dolphins are some of the other smartest creatures on earth. They have sex for the pleasure of it, rather than the mating, and are some of the only creatures on earth known to be smart enough to experience that. So they'll rape you. Make of that what you will.

And then I watched a video of a cat, on an airplane, looking out the window. But the video sucked, because the cat had no concept of what it was looking at when it looked out the window. It was just like "uhhhh.....ok? Some patchy green stuff. Great moving painting. Why are you showing me this?

But I'm thinking, what if we brought a gorilla and a dolphin onto an airplane? I don't even know HOW you get the dolphin to be able to see outside. Maybe it's a custom built airplane with the whole lower half being transparent, and serves as a water tank for the dolphin? I guess?

But the gorilla could just look out the window.

See these are the kinds of science experiments we need to be conducting. Someone contact FOX. I'm sure we could/should film this. Alternatively, hey PBS.....wanna get weird?

You KNOW you gotta see the look on the gorillas face when it realizes "Wait......how the fuck are we this high up??? WHAT is happening right now???"

Even better if you could do that thing where they nosedive and do the zero gravity thing.

Wait......should we bring a gorilla and a dolphin into SPACE??? HEY NASA!!! WHO WANTS TO DO ENOUGH DRUGS TO MAKE THIS IDEA SOUND GOOD ENOUGH TO GREENLIGHT???

 

Pretty sure Conan just took his show on tour, and his writting team was trying to come up with segments they could film in Germany, and Conan was like GERMAN DOMINATRIX!!!

And his staff was like "....what? We can't do that on...."

"WE'RE DOING GERMAN DOMINATRIX, AND TBS IS PAYING FOR IT!!!"

And so it was.

 

Like, he pops out of his little hole, and just.....his heart stops.

Do we get 6 more weeks of winter or not? Maybe we get an apocalypse instead?

view more: next ›