this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 hours ago (4 children)

At $30 per haircut, you’d need about 8 billion haircuts skipped to save that much. Dude must cut his own hair every few milliseconds.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

Bald leadership pays off.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago

At $30 per haircut

~~What? That cheap? When I went to a mediocre barber, I had to pay 35 eur, but now it's more like 45 eur.~~ ^(forgot to shitpost)

What kind of economy are you in? My haircuts are 48 million euro per month (they're on a subscription, but I locked in a good deal as an early adopter), that's why I'm not rich, no other reason.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

Two words: Compound interest 🚀

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago

No one said it was gonna be easy.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe he can just try out one more haircut. Maybe to just below the chin. Preferably with a large blade falling from some height. All you need is a basket infront to catch anything that falls off.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

But who will deliver my 2am drunk purchases next day for free? Communists? I didn't think so.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Robots? Communist robots? Who knows what could happen with the redistribution of wealth.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

We already have delivery robots under capitalism, I'm afraid you'll have to make a better case than that.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Jeff Bezos cooking recipie.
Not need to shave Jeff Bezos before put him in oven.
Just stuff him like a chicken.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

What sort of herbs and spices would you recommend?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago

#2 clipper and I do it myself. I try as best I can to chop away the gorilla fur from my neck to my shoulders with the beard attachment of my razor. ta dah.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

Cheapest haircut in my town for my hair type is $75+tip. I just cut it myself now.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago

Probably not as good as being bald, but you'll probably save at least a few billion.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago

Good news, at this rate it will only take you 3178666666.66667 haircuts to be as rich as Jeff Bezos.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Jesus christ.

Are you a woman and is that USD?

The most I've ever paid was $65AUD for a hearcut and beard trim in a mining town where the majority earned over 200k a year

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Yes, a woman, and yes USD. That’s the no-frills salon price for a trim for my hair which is “long/thick (curly)”. The more expensive places range into the $200s.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

I guess you can't go with my solution. Hell, if it gets any longer, I may actually need a haircut, but I haven't had one in 5 years.
I'm a guy; nobody cares about my hair.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I stopped cutting my hair when Covid closed all the barbers. Got a fukin mane now. Dunno, seems to have worked out. Still waiting for my billions tho ...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

No, no, see this is why you will never make it.

You gotta be bald

I shaved my head and now I have billions... Of cells in my body

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago

That seems like a positive result!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 23 hours ago

Can confirm - am nearly bald and never seen billions touch my hands.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Is this how dougdoug rolls in the big bucks?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (3 children)

There's more going on here the just the lack of hair. What secrets is he keeping under that shiny dome of his?

We must go deeper.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

That's no moon.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Hans, get ze drill!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

makes sense

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

This is the real way to save money on barber bills

https://youtu.be/oqRRi81jsgI

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