Some old redneck man who was a friend of a family member, who was in a failing marriage with a woman 10-15 years older than him told me "Don't treat a woman like gold, treat her like shit and she'll never leave you" or something to that effect. That sounded horrible even to 13 year old me.
this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
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Unfortunately it isn't wrong it is just horrible and abusive advice. Destroying the self worth and confidence of a person can trap them in a relationship because they feel they can do no better so they stay. I feel bad for that person's wife, I hope she ended up dumping his ass
It was my understanding they separated. In any case, dude died of cancer a few years later. Not sure about much beyond that.
When a trailer starts oscillating because it was loaded rear-heavy, "going full throttle will straighten it out". It didn't, car spun, load flew in a ditch.
The trailer did feel restless after turns, so I assumed it'll be fine if I steer smoothly. The first 10km went okay, but then there was a downhill, and that somehow increased the instability and it went mad. Speed was constant 80km/h.
Trailer weight distribution demonstration:
https://imgur.com/gallery/trailer-weight-distribution-3PQFK7Y
or
https://www.reddit.com/r/GoRVing/comments/6xfe7x/everybody_who_tows_an_rv_should_check_out_this/
(same video clip)
Meditation instruction.
Even if you are noticing no results at all, just keep on doing it.
No, that's dumb, expect results. If you aren't getting results after a dozen times, try a different meditation technique.
~~From what I understand, some mental health meds take a couple weeks to see results.~~
Reading comprehension FAIL!
The comment was about meditation, not medication ;)
Whoops!
"Just push through the pain." Yeah, great way to turn your minor injury into a major one.
Half of everything my mom ever told/did for whatever ailment I had.
Also that it was easy to get a job in Brazilian IT in the early 2010s. Out of some 40 companies I've sent my resume to, zero called me for an interview.
Just ignore the bullies and they'll stop.
Nope, they just hit you harder
I once got this advice and got so offended by it that I tried rerouting the bullies to target him instead.
It worked and never did I have so much fun proving someone wrong.
In defense of this, there are situations where it's good advice. Bullies that only use insults and social pressure are easily dealt with this way. Find a friend group with no connection to them, then ignore them to get rid of anything they can use against you. This is basically how I dealt with the people bullying me at school.
But I agree, if they do anything beyond insults and social pressure, you need some way of confronting them or leaving them entirely.
In my case ignoring insults lead to violent escallation. They wanted the reactions badly.
Ah what a nice advice.
Worked unsurprisingly bad from grade 1½ to 4 and could only get rid of them by advancing to the secondary school.
We are offered to choose with whom we'd would like to be in class and my request was who I'd like to net get together with.
Apparently this was a very exotic request but thwy made it possible.
Basically everything i ever heard from job advisor.
When I was about to graduate high school a uncle in law told me to make sure I pick a college with a football team I'm comfortable rooting for for the rest of my life.
When I was younger, I told my therapist that I kept accidentally saying insulting things and offending my friends without realizing it. She didn't ask for any examples and I didn't think to give any.
She told me that my friends should understand that being homeschooled and autistic, I'm going to miss some social norms, and if I explain what I meant and ask a nicer way to put it, they'll be able to explain.
Yeah this just made my friends really mad because I wasn't saying anything rude, they were just picking fights. Real "I like pancakes", "so you hate waffles?!" type conversations. It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out why it wasn't working.
ETA I think my sister convincing me not to go to college was worse advice, but that's not much of a story. Spoiler I didn't go to college.
I was advised by a group therapist, when having "cold feet" about commitment in a relationship, to just think about how bad the alternative might be. She had a friend who had reservations about getting married, and then thought not getting married would be stressful too, so she went ahead with the marriage. It was terrible advice, especially from a therapist providing guidance for some very troubled people. The only good reason to commit to a relationship is because you really want it, not because you're afraid of what will happen otherwise!
That's shockingly bad, wow
I used to drive a 1999 Nissan Sentra, it looked like a wreck but it got me everywhere I needed to go and was quick and cheap to repair. Everyone told me “you need to get rid of that car.” At the time I wasn’t making tons of money, but I did gain $5K in stocks suddenly during COVID-19.
I searched for “best cars for $5,000” and one of the recommendations was an Audi A3. I didn’t really know shit about cars so I went for it, and boy did I end up spending a lot more than $5K in repairs in the first few years (though luckily I started earning a lot more).
I still love the car to death, but it’s a 10 year old luxury vehicle. I still don’t trust it to get me to the next state but I don’t commute to work so it’s cheaper at this point to keep it and maintain it well rather than buy another used car (with an entirely new set of problems) or take out a huge, huge loan for an updated equivalent (the car is completely optioned out).
I also learned that with German vehicles you must, must find a highly knowledgeable mechanic that you can trust. A few times I took it to a cheaper mechanic closer to home but found out 1-2 years later he didn’t actually fix the problems.
Had I simply waited another few years I probably wouldn’t have had to spend a fortune fixing the damn thing, and I’d probably be financially stable enough to actually get a better car. But I live in Los Angeles where the people I know will feel shame on my behalf due to the car I drive. 🙄
I had a VW Passat which is the same thing as your Audi, just non luxury version. That thing broke down all the time. I got rid of it after 5 years because I had to. I just couldn't afford to always be fixing it.
I've historically stuck with Honda's which are very reliable. My last civic was 20 years old when I moved on from it. It still works, just not reliably for long distances. My son drives it now.
People would always ask me when I was going to get a new car. I would say I'm always looking but I won't buy a new car until I need to buy a new car. I'm thankful for not having the monthly payment.
People would just nod their head and understand where I was coming from even though they wouldn't make that same decision themselves.
During that time I made a monthly "car payment" into savings so I built up enough money to buy the car I wanted. Since it wasn't a real car payment the money was a good emergency fund, which I ended up needing.
My old Honda just won't die. I get an oil change every once in a while. And the battery has crapped out a few times in the last decade but that's it. I hear safety features have come a long way so maybe I should upgrade just for that. I get the feeling that I'll certainly miss the old Honda so I'm dragging my feet.
As somebody that currently owns a newer Honda and a 20+ year old one, its a mixed bag.
Yes, the safety features are nice (my car will alert me if it detects I need to break before I do). Yes, the convenience features are nice (I never have to worry about headlights on or off and "follow" cruise control is a must on road trips). I also love the electric transmission since I have a hybrid that give me instant power like having a turbo.
But I miss having a temperature gauge (the car will tell me when its overheating I presume). I also hate that the car reports in on my personal data and sells it to other companies.
Hondas recent merger with Nissan will probably make them worse too. So there's that. I'm guessing next car I buy will be Toyota.
But I live in Los Angeles where the people I know will feel shame on my behalf due to the car I drive.
Maybe your people should pitch in for a new ride on your behalf then, instead of yourself.
German cars are deliberately over-engineered to increase repairing costs. They fail less often than cheaper cars, but when they do, it's time to check your covering on your bank account, because that's gonna cost you.
Yeah, I guess I didn’t care but everyone on my back about it had me thinking “maybe they’re right.”
Typically when people give me advice it’s not good, but if I stand my ground people lose their minds. The people here are like a cult where everyone has the same opinions about everything and if you don’t conform they feel the need to nag you incessantly — if you just mention “hey I’m doing it because X” then they’ll get huffy and say “you don’t need to explain yourself.”
I hate to generalize but this has happened to me too many times to count since I moved here ~10 years ago. I would love to leave but it’s too late, now I’m stuck here.
Yeah I get it. I too have some people inside my social circle who don't seem to understand that certain things work very well for me (my outdated phone for example) and like to give unsoliced advice, because they mean well (in their own specific way). It is hard to combat these kind of people, as it would be ridiculous to cut ties over such bullshit argument. I guess thats the price for being a part of a social group.
A3 TDI? I have one of those and so many breakdowns in the first year. Luckily the warranty they were forced to add from having cheated on emissions covered all repairs. Haven't had any major issues for two years now on it thankfully, I'm not sure I'd recommend it generally but realistically with what you save on fuel cost the extra long term repair cost balances it out a bit.
Those old Datsun Sentras were goat.
A tiny notch under the ek Civic, but just as rugged.
Maybe not advice but people who condescendingly say “you don’t have to explain yourself” are exactly the people who want you to explain yourself.
Same goes with “I hate drama” folks.
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