this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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I (21M) live in an Ohio household of hardcore Trumpers who, unfortunately, found out that I voted for Kamala Harris.

My father and brother are fascists. They believe in killing anyone who disagrees with Trumpism. My mother is not violent, but drank basically all the QAnon Kool-Aid and is batshit insane.

I am disabled. My cognitive ability suffers severely if I sit up or stand up for more than a few minutes. I also have another condition that requires me to avoid bending my neck, so I have to keep it straight. I also can't safely lift anything that's heavier than a few pounds, so anything more than that is very risky. I can push and pull fine.

I am also financially-dependent on my mother at the moment.

We moved to a new house recently, and the walls are very thin. That allowed me to overhear a private conversation between my father and brother.

My brother said that he hates Harris supporters so much that he wants a day of retribution where he goes on a violent rampage to kill everyone he knows who supports her, especially gay and transgender people. When my dad asked if that included me, he did not hesitate to say "Sure."

My brother is in peak physical condition. He owns guns and has military training. I had long suspected that he is the biggest potential threat to my life, but gaslighted myself into thinking I was overreacting. Today, he confirmed it.

My brother isn't the type to throw out threats of violence willy-nilly. He has also physically abused me in the past when we were younger and has major anger issues. I believe that I have to take this threat seriously, and that means that I need to evacuate ASAP. I think the most likely day for him to act is on election night or shortly after, which would give me just over a week. But then again, I can't be sure. Maybe he is planning a surprise.

My mother is too unreasonable to take any of this seriously.

I have a few thousand dollars and Democratic relatives from the South who might potentially take me in, though I don't know for sure if they will, since we're not close emotionally. I also don't know if my brother will go out of his way to target them once he notices my absence. He is going to an out-of-state Trump rally this week, so I know that he doesn't have much trouble crossing state lines.

I don't know where my birth certificate and social security card are, other than that my mother has them somewhere. My father is home the entire time and stays in one spot where he can see everything. Even if I knew where they were, there is no way for me to retrieve them without him noticing.

Fuck fascism. I was born to a family of vile abusive sociopaths. It was hell the whole time. I won't miss any of them. Fuck them. They are a disappointment to the rest of my family line. I spent my entire life learning how to become a decent human being in spite of it all and now the fuckers want me dead. FUCK. THEM.

The thing that separates me from the rest of my family is empathy. I refused to hate the people they wanted me to hate. Instead, I listened to their stories and befriended them. I care about everyone, not just straight white Christians. I voted for Harris because I wanted the best for everyone, which means preventing the installation of an authoritarian regime. And for that, I must pay the ultimate price.

I may never get to experience love or deep friendship, but no matter how this all ends, I vow to spend the rest of my days pouring out as much love and joy as I can out to every last ally I meet.

Any advice would be helpful. I don't want to wait, but I also can't do this without some kind of plan. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, so any input is appreciated.

Thank you.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Nothing to contribute to the conversation here, but fuck, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Please do let us know if you get out of this alive.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Sadly, the local police/FBI likely aren't going to do shit for you and will only increase the risk of you getting found out by the people you're living with. I'd wait until you're out to contact them.

Your non-crazy relatives seem like your best bet, provided they're willing to put themselves between you and your potentially violent acquaintances should it come to that. Be honest with them.

Otherwise, people have suggested abuse hotlines and organizations, that's probably a good place to start. If I were in your situation and I had nowhere else to turn, I'd probably reach out to the church I went to when I grew up. I'm no longer Christian but the church I went to was exceptionally open minded and left leaning and I would trust the leaders to understand and help me how they could. Maybe you know of or could ask around about a place like that in your region? I would avoid anything within your town if possible since word is likely to get back to the people you're currently living with.

Really sorry you're in this situation. I'm all the way on the west coast but I have a network of resources in central IL if you end up there. Reach out if you can think of more ways I can help.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

First thing is to ensure your safety.

Once you have that taken care of - what do you know about your brother's out-of-state trip? He sounds like the kind of person who will ignore the local gun laws of wherever he is going if they're stricter than where you live. If he's going to a fascist meet-up, a tip that he may be illegally armed may give law enforcement a reason to start searching the Nazis for weapons.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago (4 children)

You say that as if many cops aren't sympathizers themselves.

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[–] [email protected] -2 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Call the police and fbi immediately

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago

Never call the police. They don't prevent crime, they show up afterwards to hurt the person who did it. NEVER call them.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

do NOT do this until you are away from your family. cops are exceptionally bad at handling this stuff

[–] [email protected] 6 points 14 hours ago

Cops =/= FBI

You know why the FBI is so terrifying? Because 20 agents have already verified the information that allows the agents to come and arrest you. The FBI gets their target. Every. Fucking. Time.

As for op, I think this is probably the only choice that you're going to have in conjunction with working with the family that may still be able to support you.

That's such a shitty situation that you're in, and I am so sorry that you have to endure this. You may be disabled, but you are not weak. You are strong! You voted your conscience despite the risks of retribution from your family.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

If you can get relatives to help, do that. If not, contact a local women's shelter or other abuse-related non-profit. They may or may not be able to help directly, but they will most likely know what other resources are available.

I wish you the best.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago (4 children)

I don't think a women's shelter is going to help him much...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 13 hours ago

They may have answers. He likely won’t be the first man who called them needing advice on where to seek refuge

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago

Men's shelters exist.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

To be honest I would take some of the advice here, but in the immediate I would get a switch blade or bear mace or both and hide them in different places around your room.

When election day comes if anyone tries anything stupid you will at least have means to defend yourself and escape.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Switchblades are illegal in most, if not all States.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Lol @ switch blades being illegal but AR-15s are not

[–] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

AR-15's are also illegal where I live. Every semi-auto, center-fire rifle was banned January 1, 2024.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

do you have a driver's license?

you can get a running camper or even a large van in a pinch for less than a few thousand.

it's not the most comfortable thing in the world for everybody, but if you get an RV, you have a tiny independent apartment on wheels free and clear.

you have no more rent after the initial purchase, and obviously it's private so you have as much time as you need to to figure out what you're going to do next.

That's the quickest way to get your own private space and I can walk you through it(browse, visit, buy, register) and look at vehicle listings near you.

I can walk you through exactly how hygiene and all the everydays work in the vehicle you get, likely expenses and all of that per month, it's all doable and not a huge adjustment from living in a regular apartment.

birth certificate in almost every state can be replaced in 1-2 weeks for about 40 bucks or expressed in a couple days for 80 bucks, and with your birth certificate and a couple other documents like tax forms or some other identifier, you'll be able to get your SSN card replaced as well.

If you have any other specific practical questions, please send them over here. I've replaced many documents before, I've lived in an RV, I've been traveling for a decade, and I'm thriving on the other side.

I have life experience I'm happy to share and you can take from it what you find useful.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I don't have a driver's license, I just have a state ID card. So I'll probably need someone else to help me with any vehicle stuff. Thanks for the reply.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

If someone got you an uber, would you have a place to go?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I'm calling my relatives right now to see if they can help, but other than that, no.

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