this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago

Oh boy I love it when death is multiple choice!

  1. Fiery explosion
  2. Cuisinart of Doom
  3. Squeezing your brain into hips
  4. 9mm of lead therapy
  5. Other: __________
[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Fire the seat forward toward the enemy aircraft that forced them to eject to allow them to steal it.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Why not just eject sideways?

[–] [email protected] -4 points 9 months ago (5 children)

When helicopters lose power they just fall. If the rotor head isn't decapitated then when you get ejected sideways there's s no zero chance you'll be julienned on the way down.

It's why the most (only version currently in operation) common method of helicopter ejection severs the head or blades while it's still rotating so it/they spin off and hopefully away and then the seat rockets away.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Your first sentence is wrong. Stop explaining things you don't understand yourself.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's a fact. Helicopters in general do not have the ability to glide to a landing, they can auto rotate if the rotor is still moving and has enough momentum. If the rotor stops or detaches helicopters fall..

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (6 children)

"if the rotor stops" luckily in this universe we have conservation of motion so the rotor doesn't typically stop in flight

Sure though, were it to detach the helicopter would fly like a brick

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

It fails "the cool" factor so we rejected it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Heck if accelerating to Mach 19 in about 2 meters is acceptable you could just disable the rotors and only experience an acceleration of less than Mach 1 in just a few meters.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Simple, just put the rotors on the bottom, problem solved!

[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

So basing off another comment. Have the Ejection seat tied to the rotor and shaft (not in a way that the chair spins. Duh)

Then (as long as rotor hasn't disintegrated) you can eject the seat with the rotor, thus minimizing filet chances... Whilst also floating to the ground softly like those whirly paper helicopter things you played with as a kid

Boom. Parachute free ejection seat

[–] [email protected] 61 points 9 months ago

Hold up, let him cook

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Nah, just do it like they did in WW1; synchronize the ejection to the rotor blades so you fly through the gap, clean as a whistle.

(Please don't ask about our experiments with the earlier WW1 method of "Fuck it, just shoot the propeller sometimes, it'll be fine". Turns out that doesn't work so great when you replace bullets with people.)

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Place the seats in sleds out the front, and attach them to reins on one of the missiles in the battery.

It can't be any more dangerous than being in a helicopter that's decided today's the day.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Major Mindbleach made local headlines today as he drove a Santa Claus-esque sleigh attached to an AARGM directly over the heads of local combatants. Spectators say that instead of dropping gifts like his holiday counterpart, Mindbleach was dropping dook as he shit his pants repeatedly moving at speeds of Mach 2+ attached to a ballistic missile. The final status of Mindbleach is unknown. More information as the story develops.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Boeing adamantly insisted this not count toward any statistics on the reported dangers of their aircraft, as the system was working as intended at the time of the pilot's exit. All questions about subsequent events should be directed to the manufacturer of the missile.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Who would win?

Two human skulls 💀💀

One twirly boi 🚁

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Put some ERA on them skulls and you’re good

[–] [email protected] 50 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Attach the ejector seat TO the helicopter blades so that they both eject and you get a cool propeller and can fly around and it can shoot lasers and stuff too.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Just eject the damaged parts. Viola

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I like all the serious answers as if this was a real option.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Very credible

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Why not extend the seat sideway and eject that way?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't know of any ejection seats that go sideways, but early F-104 models had a downward track ejection seat. The main issue is that parachutes need some time to open and helicopters tend to fly pretty low. So in most situations you wouldn't be in a safe altitude to actually eject.

Modern zero-zero seats can safely eject at any altitude, but they do so by using a rocket motor to fly upwards to a safe altitude for the parachute to open. So because of the rotors, helicopters generally don't have ejection seats. The exception is the Kamov KA-50 series. It has explosive bolts blowing off the rotors before ejection.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Presumably less "blowing off" and more "letting go." They're already being spun with as much centripetal force as they'll tolerate. The explosive only needs enough oomph to make itself disappear.

Which had to be a weird pitch. Like, 'for safety reasons, we're going to stitch this together with detcord.'

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