Oh boy I love it when death is multiple choice!
- Fiery explosion
- Cuisinart of Doom
- Squeezing your brain into hips
- 9mm of lead therapy
- Other: __________
A community for your defence shitposting needs
Rules
1. Be nice
Do not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.
2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes
If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.
3. Content must be relevant
Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.
4. No racism / hatespeech
No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.
5. No politics
We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.
6. No seriousposting
We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.
7. No classified material
Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.
8. Source artwork
If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.
9. No low-effort posts
No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.
10. Don't get us banned
No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.
11. No misinformation
NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.
Other communities you may be interested in
Banner made by u/Fertility18
Oh boy I love it when death is multiple choice!
Fire the seat forward toward the enemy aircraft that forced them to eject to allow them to steal it.
Why not just eject sideways?
When helicopters lose power they just fall. If the rotor head isn't decapitated then when you get ejected sideways there's s no zero chance you'll be julienned on the way down.
It's why the most (only version currently in operation) common method of helicopter ejection severs the head or blades while it's still rotating so it/they spin off and hopefully away and then the seat rockets away.
Your first sentence is wrong. Stop explaining things you don't understand yourself.
It's a fact. Helicopters in general do not have the ability to glide to a landing, they can auto rotate if the rotor is still moving and has enough momentum. If the rotor stops or detaches helicopters fall..
"if the rotor stops" luckily in this universe we have conservation of motion so the rotor doesn't typically stop in flight
Sure though, were it to detach the helicopter would fly like a brick
It fails "the cool" factor so we rejected it.
Heck if accelerating to Mach 19 in about 2 meters is acceptable you could just disable the rotors and only experience an acceleration of less than Mach 1 in just a few meters.
Simple, just put the rotors on the bottom, problem solved!
So basing off another comment. Have the Ejection seat tied to the rotor and shaft (not in a way that the chair spins. Duh)
Then (as long as rotor hasn't disintegrated) you can eject the seat with the rotor, thus minimizing filet chances... Whilst also floating to the ground softly like those whirly paper helicopter things you played with as a kid
Boom. Parachute free ejection seat
Hold up, let him cook
Nah, just do it like they did in WW1; synchronize the ejection to the rotor blades so you fly through the gap, clean as a whistle.
(Please don't ask about our experiments with the earlier WW1 method of "Fuck it, just shoot the propeller sometimes, it'll be fine". Turns out that doesn't work so great when you replace bullets with people.)
Place the seats in sleds out the front, and attach them to reins on one of the missiles in the battery.
It can't be any more dangerous than being in a helicopter that's decided today's the day.
Major Mindbleach made local headlines today as he drove a Santa Claus-esque sleigh attached to an AARGM directly over the heads of local combatants. Spectators say that instead of dropping gifts like his holiday counterpart, Mindbleach was dropping dook as he shit his pants repeatedly moving at speeds of Mach 2+ attached to a ballistic missile. The final status of Mindbleach is unknown. More information as the story develops.
Boeing adamantly insisted this not count toward any statistics on the reported dangers of their aircraft, as the system was working as intended at the time of the pilot's exit. All questions about subsequent events should be directed to the manufacturer of the missile.
Who would win?
Two human skulls 💀💀
One twirly boi 🚁
Put some ERA on them skulls and you’re good
Attach the ejector seat TO the helicopter blades so that they both eject and you get a cool propeller and can fly around and it can shoot lasers and stuff too.
I like all the serious answers as if this was a real option.
Very credible
Why not extend the seat sideway and eject that way?
I don't know of any ejection seats that go sideways, but early F-104 models had a downward track ejection seat. The main issue is that parachutes need some time to open and helicopters tend to fly pretty low. So in most situations you wouldn't be in a safe altitude to actually eject.
Modern zero-zero seats can safely eject at any altitude, but they do so by using a rocket motor to fly upwards to a safe altitude for the parachute to open. So because of the rotors, helicopters generally don't have ejection seats. The exception is the Kamov KA-50 series. It has explosive bolts blowing off the rotors before ejection.
Presumably less "blowing off" and more "letting go." They're already being spun with as much centripetal force as they'll tolerate. The explosive only needs enough oomph to make itself disappear.
Which had to be a weird pitch. Like, 'for safety reasons, we're going to stitch this together with detcord.'