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that's it boys! We've cured homosexuality! Our work here's done.
Wait, what the fuck do we do now?
Each other?
that is, one of the options present.
Wait, what the fuck do we do now?
Cure heterosexuality?
true, true.
This is a good point, i'll get to work immediately.
Honestly curious and hoping for serious replies:
What do trans people think about the possibility of a child or preteen “getting it wrong”? Ie, maturing into an adult that realizes/decides that they actually want to live out their life as initially assigned at birth?
Note: I know so little that I’m actually not sure if this question itself is massively offensive or not…if so, sincere apologies. Just want to learn more about this and stop imagining things!
What do trans people think about the possibility of a child or preteen “getting it wrong”? Ie, maturing into an adult that realizes/decides that they actually want to live out their life as initially assigned at birth?
i'm not trans, but i think there is always the possibility of being wrong, and the only real thing we have to back this up going forward is long term heuristics.
Notably if you've been cross dressing for a couple of years, chance are, it's gonna be pretty fucking low that you would regret it. By that point at least.
Maybe one day we will develop some kind of technology that gives us a better way of classifying this, in a more reliable manner, because theoretically there should be some form of expected brain adaptation from the average person, or related physical issue in the case of physically intersex people.
Ultimately, having a more positive opinion on less binary genders in general is going to be like 80% of what solves this problem. The second that non binary and genderfluid is more universally accepted, the trans existence is probably going to shift more towards the center. Simply due to social acceptance. Though i'm sure a lot of people will still ultimately be trans, i'm just curious to see how this plays out.
That's my two cents on it at least.
Unfortunately, the whole scenario is a little contrived, and it feels quite a bit like the same tactic as describing things like fingernails or the "heartbeat" of a fetus...it's designed to get you to act on emotion without learning more.
Now, if a surgeon were to be found doing gender reassignment surgery on minors without the years of therapy and other interventions that are all part of the real process...then I'd be fully on board with yanking their license to practice and probably charging them and the kids guardians with any applicable criminal charges. As far as the real process goes, the whole thing is designed to give the person every opportunity to change their mind or only partially transition before anything irreversible happens. It usually starts with letting the kid pick their own clothes/hair/whatever and therapy. If they change their mind, they just change their clothes and hair. Then, more therapy and maybr change their name ( it doesn't even have to be a legal change yet, as they're a minor), maybe puberty blockers as appropriate. If they change their mind, they just stop the blockers or go back to their old name... whatever they feel comfortable with. Then maybe top surgery as a late teen or early 20s... again, it's harder to reverse but still doable.
Because of the way the process is gradual and guided by medical professionals, actual cases of someone fully transitioning then changing their mind is less than 1%. Gender affirming surgery to make you look more like your ideal version of your assigned sex (breast augmentation/lip implants/whatever) have mich higher regret rates.
Because of the way the process is gradual and guided by medical professionals, actual cases of someone fully transitioning then changing their mind is less than 1%.
just for clarity here, since i'm curious and this is worded rather, weirdly. I've always assumed this stat was measured among transitioned people, but it's possible to interpret this as people who transitioned, and then detransitioned, which would include the entirety of the population by proxy.
A very small percentage of people who transition ever choose to detransition. Further, a very small percentage of people who detransition report that their reasons for doing so included that they weren't actually transgender. The vast majority of people who detransition do so because of outside pressure from their community and not because they think they were wrong to transition.
yeah, that's what i've always understood it as.
The fact that people detransition, because the pressure of it is less than being trans is fascinating to me. I'm sure psychs and sociologists are having a field day with that considering it's a rare opportunity to get a pretty specific view into an incredibly complex topic such as social cohesion, and self expression.
Good faith questions should always be welcome, even encouraged. It would be a sad world where I was still in the dark unable to ask questions about things I didn't know for fear of offending. Thank you my rainbow friends since college. No topic was ever taboo once I started with, "Okay I have one of those questions..."
Reply was always, let's hear it!
Unlike what some people may have told you children aren't allowed surgery, and are rarely allowed hrt. Sometimes they get puberty blockers, which is somewhat controversial, but is also used in cis children with precocious puberty. It's been demonstrated that even small children have formed a gender identity (can't remember the exact age but it's around 5 or 6 years old), and that this doesn't really change. It is possible for someone to not know their gender identity, though I think this is more common with non-binary people and those who aren't taught about gender identity.
Thank you! Much appreciated.
So, my trans friends are gonna get access to free healthcare?
Get fucked.
Here's a personal story. It's a long one and it's purely anecdotal. But I think it's fitting.
I'm in the process of diagnosing my autism, and I mean it's pretty much done. I'm autistic, there is no doubt about it at this point, but now I just need what we could call a stamp of approval for it to be officially recognized by my government. So I had to see a psychiatrist to do this. Currently, in my country it's kind of hard to do so because they are all completely booked so I basically jumped on the first one that was available.
I sent him an email explaining to him my situation, telling him that I'm a trans woman, about my pronouns, he was aware of absolutely everything, and he told me that it was all good with him. Previous experiences in my life had taught me to be wary of psychiatrists, but I tried to go in with an open mind. I brought all of the tests that I had done with therapists who were specialized in the domain of autism and everything with me so that we could go over all of this. According to those people that I was seeing, it should have been just a formality, or at the very least he could've wanted me to do some tests quickly just to double check but that was it.
So I finally went to see him. And the first thing he did was misgender me. He called me sir, called me he and then he noticed that I flinched at this. Made a point of addressing it. And I told him that yeah it was a bit weird because you know I told him in advance and people didn't misgender me nowadays so it was weird. He half-apologized for his "mistake", before telling me that it was my fault. Because according to him, my passing wasn't good enough. He told me that I didn't look feminine enough and that reality was harsh and that sometimes we just had to accept that things are not the way we want them to be. That he wasn't going to pretend just to please me.
And mind you, my passing is good. Not to brag or anything but I am never misgendered. I always had a very feminine face, a very feminine body. I always had long hair, so I was already passing before I was out. And now it's even better. I have guys walking up to me and flirting with me for 10 minutes straight and never questioning if I'm a man or a woman. The point is my passing isn't an issue, and even if it was, fuck him. That's not something he should judge. You are a psychiatrist, not a stylist. Shut the fuck up and stay in your lane.
I tried to divert from all of this. I wanted to cry but I still tried and remained focused about what I was here for. So I handed him all of the papers that I had from my therapist who was specialized in autism, all the tests we did and told him here are everything I have, all of my pre-diagnostics, how should we proceed? He barely took a look at them before telling me that he categorically refused to help me with the diagnosis, saying that it was just a trend.
I tried to explain to him that I needed this because I was trying to build a file that would recognize me legally as a disabled worker because, well, I am, and it would help me greatly in my day-to-day life especially at work, because I would be granted accommodations for my hypersensitivities and the like. He told me he refused to help me with this and told me that we had to work on other things like for example that I had a habit of self-diagnosis. I had self-diagnosed my autism for example and I was kind of stunned at this because... I didn't.
I had a long track record of doctors suspecting that I was maybe autistic but never really going all the way for a diagnosis. I finally decided to take action and see some people who immediately confirmed that yes, I very likely was. I was getting frustrated but I was thinking that he was the professional and maybe he was right, maybe something was wrong with me, but then he continued and said that I also self-diagnosed my trans identity.
I was fucking stunned at this. To the point where I just couldn't say anything, so I let him continue and he continued talking about it, about my trans identity, how it was clear I had some identity issues and so on. And the way he talked about it, I started to feel dread. He was talking about me being trans like it was some psychosis.
This was the first time I saw this motherfucker, we had never met before, and he somehow deduced all of this in like 30 minutes. Like, the dude talked with such confidence, like he had it all figured out already. And this was the first time anybody told me something like that. It's not like there was a pattern with my therapist or even the doctors that I saw who gave me hormones or anything. No, he was the first one to do this.
The second I walked in, he immediately got set on trying to cure the fact that I was trans. He became fixated on it and ignored everything else I was telling him. He always brought it back to this.
And mind you, this is not the protocol at all for my country when it comes to trans people. That's not how you do things. But at the same time, from what I understand, once you got your medical license here, well, there is no need to take a refresher course. And this dude got it like 20, 30 years ago. And he never had to brush up on his knowledge. The dude was basically trying to diagnose me with "transsexual syndrome" or something like that.
Figuring out that I was trans is one of the best things that ever happened to me. My life has never been this hard and yet I've never been this happy. And he wanted to take it all away from me. He saw it as some problem to be fixed.
The last interaction I had with him was when I gave him my medical card. He proceeded to bill me much more than I anticipated, so that was fun but that was only after he commented on the card, which had a very old photo of me where I looked much more masculine (really short hair) but also my deadname which he proceeded to read aloud and comment on how he liked it, asking me how I came up with "Plume", and how different it was than [DEADNAME].
Needless to say, I never saw him again.
I did talk about it a lot with my therapist, she was shocked at what I was telling her. My doctor who put me on hormones told me something along the lines of, "what an asshole". I was shaken by the experience. Still kind of am. If I had been a minor and didn't really have a say in any of this, I am convinced, without a doubt, that the dude would have put me through some sort of like conversion therapy.
Talking about this to some other trans people, I learned that, at least in my country, this is a shockingly common occurrence...
I just want to be me...
i would've walked out the moment i walked in.
I'm not trans, but fuck you if that's how you treat me in a professional environment. You're not getting my time of day or money.
I don't think I would pay for that ...
Normalize saying "what the fuck is wrong with you" again.
I needed a moment to calm myself after reading all that. The amount of vitriol I felt in my stomach when I got towards the mid-way point... Idk if I would have even stayed there to listen to his crap. Turns me bitter. Send me the bill for my time you wasted and piss off.
The bullshit we have to endure... Just know that I'm sending all my hugs your way. You deserve it and so much more, gurl! Stay Strong. ✊ These assholes won't ruin our resolve.
sorry you went through that.
doctors, lawyers etc all think they are very smart. Some of them are, but also, you don't have to be smart to memorize a text book. People can get through exams and still be dumb motherfuckers.
I am sorry you went through this, just report this doctors behavior to the relevant authorities if you think that makes sense to do. If you don’t want the hassle of any bureaucratic issues of reporting him, that’s understandable.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. My heart breaks for anyone who happened to see him first.
I hope to see more and more outreach programs for trans youth so they know they're not alone and don't have to listen to such assholes.
I take it they don’t want to give us hormones, safe communities, and trauma therapy
No, but they'll make sure that you get some trauma
I have enough, thank you very much.