this post was submitted on 03 May 2024
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The "Driving across the Midwest" Starter Pack (poptalk.scrubbles.tech)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

You have no idea how good you have it. Spent a substantial amount of time in my youth moving from one side of the country to the other. We had books, when we had enough light. And whatever radio mom/dad wanted to listen to. And chainsmoking parents who wouldn't open the windows.

No phones, no smart phones, no gameboys, just miles and miles of reading (thank god I don't get carsick and love books) or, when you couldn't because of lack of sunlight, you just did nothing. I would have murdered someone for a laptop with games, movies etc., not even online.

And the rest areas were still closed lol.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

It's nice that the bottom right one helps you practice your maths. "Exit 164 Miles" is just so boring.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

The "famous for leaving the Midwest" thing is so real. I lived in a town that billed itself as the hometown of a famous country singer, themed museum and all. Looked it up one time, the dude lived there for like a year when he was three.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Illinois calls itself the "land of lincoln" and he isnt even from there, just worked there for a while.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Ohio and North Carolina have a license plate beef over the Wright Brothers. They lived and worked in Ohio ("Birthplace of Aviation"), but the first flight was in Kitty Hawk because of the steady winds ("First in Flight").

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Same thing! Famous actor for us. Most famous thing was being born there. Left when they were a teenager and never looked back

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Drove across Kansas once. Every small town has 1 grain silo, 1 post office, 1 bank. Over and over.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

yep. Missouri too. You know it's a big town when it's got a grain elevator and a rail. Not quite as absurdly flat as Kansas.

I still prefer Kansas tho, missouri is a real shit hole.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What? No "Wall Drug" signs?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

when "free water" counted as retail innovation

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I’ve lived in Los Angeles for 12 years and this sounds really comfy tbh

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

This song is really silly but i feel like it's the quintessential Midwestern road trip in song form

https://youtu.be/kD6DBxIobz4

Be warned, it's folk music, which means it's catchy, in it's own way

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Don't forget the absolutey massive fireworks outlet stores that somehow remain profitable year round.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Checks out. My hometown used to have a sign that said Chicago -> 500 miles.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (3 children)

What are those weigh stations even for? I see them on the Western states too.

And they're always closed! So clearly not that important.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Trucks can only be 80,000 pounds max and certain weight ratios per axle (varies by state and conditions). If you're too heavy it could mean shifting the axles, obtaining a special permit, needing an escort, paying a fine, or even being stopped until you can sort it out. It has to do mostly with safety and damage to the roads AFAIK. Also it's where they check all your paperwork and licenses.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Theoretically to check for smuggling and/or theft, I've been told. Come to think of it, if exactly the right weight of merchandise "fell off the back of the truck" to balance the weight of the humans you're trafficking, you'd be safe and make double profits.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Lack of staff.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

All the HELL IS REAL and anti-abortion billboards too.

The Chicago as a reference point had me cracking up.

Just another 500 miles and I'll be home!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

There's a German style brewery in Columbus, Ohio that sells black shirts with red block lettering that say "Helles Real" and I think it's the best thing ever

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That lions den has been closed for a while now. Probably since before the pandemic.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Shame, that was a staple of the cross Iowa road trip. Always kind of wanted to stop in just after seeing those signs for my entire life

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

I always point them out to the wife when we don't have the kids. One of these times we might see what's in there.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I once TPed the statue of former president Ronald Reagan at his boyhood home in Dixon, IL.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

O7

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Missing the Wall Drug 500 miles sign

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

See also - 7 hour drive? Oh yeah that's a small roadtrip

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

That's a commute.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

I swear midwesterners have that mentality because you'll only have that car for 5 years before it rusts out. Gotta get as many miles as you can!

[–] [email protected] 76 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

Midwesterner here. This is correct. Though it's missing anti-abortion ads and the PORN DESTROYS ALL LIVES signs that always follow the Adult Superstore ones.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Also the homemade signs on the farmers land. As a kid, I always got a kick out of a sheet of plywood that had been painted with a simple message: "outlaw sodomy."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Painted by someone who clearly thinks about buttsex more than the average gay man.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I was about to mention the Jesus Lives and Christ is the way mega posters

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Ha, I'm still alive. CHECKMATE

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm always amazed all those adult superstores can stay open with the internet, but I guess porn is only a fraction of their inventory

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The answer to your query is Glory Holes. Tons of closeted gay repression in conservative parts of the world.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

True.

Also, even for those of us who are out, they sell better sex toys than Spencer's, better lube than Walgreens, and are the only place to buy Wildberry incense for some reason.

And the workers are some of the genuinely nicest people you can meet in the Midwest.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 6 months ago (2 children)

don't forget the giant sign that just says JESUS. Nothing else, literally just that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

There's the same sign in NC/SC, plus the SOTB Pedro signs

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (1 children)

And the Enormous Lower Case T.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (2 children)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Stealing this