Going to therapy.
I found out the reason I could't sleep anymore was deeper than just being stressed out during a particular time frame of my life, but it was the last ring of a chain of bad (but apparently "normal") decisions that started a long time ago.
this post was submitted on 01 May 2024
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Asklemmy
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Getting away from my ex.
I had resigned myself to my life being over. But when we started pushing for kids, I started noticing relief whenever it didnโt work. I realized that while I might have been willing to sacrifice myself to her, I wasnโt willing to sacrifice kids.
So I did the unthinkable, and I called it all off. It was horribly sad, but now after five years out, Iโm feeling like myself again. I shudder to think of that zombified state I was living in.
I realised a relationship was doomed when I had a pregnancy scare. I was overjoyed when I got my period, and he told me he was sad. The man already had 3 kids by 3 different women, none of whom he saw, and I was like wtf how does he think I'd have a kid with him?? We broke up not long after. And every time I see him around town I thank my lucky stars I didn't get stuck with him, as well as embarrassment I was with him in the first place.
Someone convinced me to study computer science 20 years ago. The career possibilities with good money and easy work have put the rest of life on easy mode (for now). Even meeting my wife and having my family would never have happend without that decision.
Leaving Facebook, and Reddit, and ~~Twitter~~ X, and Instagram, and... well, quite literally everything except YouTube.
Joining the electrical union. I'm a convicted felon. The union gave me a future.
Was taking 2 gap years in education. Where I worked a year, and took firefighters education for 9 month, where I met my now wife, after that traveled for 2 month, before I continued my education with computer science.
I hate that you are right because English is such a janky ass language.
And don't worry too much on mistakes since native speakers suck at english too.
No we aren't
Don't worry Aussies get a free pass for being pretty damn cool.
Nah yeah you heard boys, get the shrimp on the barbie oi oi oi
Just teasing my neighbour, I'm also Aussie. Though not by birth.
Going vegan
I started running some 20-odd years ago. It helped me get stability and self-confidence and helped me get my shit together.
Your English is excellent - I wouldn't know it was a second (third?) language for you.
FYI, "mostly perfect" is problematic, as "perfect" is an absolute - something is perfect or it isn't perfect. Though it could interpreted as "most of my English is perfect", which makes sense. And there's also room for artistic license.
Many native speakers say this kind of thing all the time with "unique", by saying things like "one of the most unique" thing. So you're in good company, you speak English as well as many native speakers! ๐
(It's a minor thing, I doubt most people notice that qualifying an absolute doesn't make sense).
Again, your English is excellent - I really wouldn't know otherwise.
Going to college.
Honestly there's a lot of things I know all contributed to where I am. But I'm fairly certain I would have a far worse life if I hadn't gone to college.
Asking out my partner. They're my favorite person. I pity the alternate timeline version of me who didn't have the guts to make a move. They're really missing out.
Super cute and wholesome. Glad for you both of you, and cracking up at your username.
Thanks fam! <3
Buying dirt, it's a struggle everyday but as much as I say I'm giving up and selling... I'm never going to
It's kind of weird that English became a universal language. There must have been better choices.
I mean the options at the time were English, French and maybe Spanish with Dutch being a distant 4th so... Not really? Nowadays your options are English or Mandarin.
French and Spanish would have been better.
I don't speak Spanish but I do speak French and I disagree.
Apparently not, or those would've become the universal.
History is what caused it. Though it's pretty fascinating that in Shakespeare's time, English (in England) was considered the commoner's tongue, while the upper classes spoke French.
This is part of Shakespeare's legacy (he wrote and performed in English) , and also shows why the early documents in America are worded the way they are. No American says "four score and 20 years", that's from French.
No American says "four score and 20 years",
My whole life has been a lie.
Quit work at 35, am now 58.
Regrets ? Not brave enough to quit earlier.
How do you support yourself and how did you make that happen?
If you are actually interested there was movement, not sure if still going, a few years ago called financial independence. It was r/financialindependence. One of their influencers was Mr Money Moustache. You can look that up if you want
Yeah :) I actually am going to reach FI myself next year at 33 y/o. Was hoping to hear this person's story since its a concept I'm very interested in.
Seconded I'm ready to take notes at 33
Probably having kids. Got pregnant at 23, went back to school, slowly, got a much better job when I finished. Do not think I would have done without having the kids, and they have brought so much joy into my life.
But I always knew I wanted kids so not sure that counts.
Wearing a very slightly alternative outfit to the mall in the 1980s may actually have saved my life. I was so alienated at school, for a lot of reasons, and falling in with these slightly older punks who looked after me at shows and just generally got me into that scene really made me feel I had a place - I wouldn't say it was wholesome by any stretch but without that group I am pretty sure I would have just died, probably from anorexia as a teen. Good and bad came from it but I am very, very happy for that day.
Stooped caring what other thought, started doing what I liked, took risks.
Deciding to transition ten years ago
What element were you before you transitioned to fire?
EDIT: I should probably point this out, this is a joke; please don't speculate or ask about a trans person's pretransition identity.
I think people on lemmy should start using the "/s" more, even if it's a reddit legacy
A lot of the federation has been people groomed by reddit dropping all the social progress that site has made over the years.
Moving to Ireland. Better than the UK in almost every way.
Moving to California. Happened on a whim. Change my life completely because I didn't fit in my conservative state and would never have achieved actual happiness. Also, continuing therapy.
Quit smoking.
Apart from that, it's been a clusterfuck.
Quitting smoking
- In real life: ๐๐
- In a Source game: ๐ฒ๐
Moving. I was in my mid 20s and I lived in a city with all my friends.
Really struggled with mental health. Felt like all my friends hated me. Turns out they were just mediocre friends.
Packed up and moved, solo.doing way better than I ever woulda done in that situation, I think.
Overcoming my tendency to push people away and committing to my wife.
Why would you want to overcome committing to your wife?
/s
At the risk of repeating what others have posted, getting together with my wife. She's smart, financially responsible, and we influence each other in positive ways. We've been so much more capable as a team than either of us was separately.
Quiting an exhausting job. That was a big relieve for me and for my partner even more so
It wasn't my decision, but getting fired from an exhausting job was amazing for me. I wasn't going to pull the trigger myself, but walking out of my boss's office I couldn't keep a huge grin off my face. I was in no rush to find a new job so the months of uneployment that followed were some of the happiest of my life. And I have a better job now that pays less but is so much less stressful.
Marrying my wife. She is so smart and strong. We make a great team and we have been able to resolve the various conflicts of 15 years. I couldn't have chosen a better partner.
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