this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 48 comments
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I know this is satire, but part of me is afraid that it might not be.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

You do you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] -3 points 6 months ago

Sounds fun but I’m guessing an Uber is probably cheaper and less likely to land me in jail.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Great hood ornament, dude. Hop in, I'm driving.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 months ago

卄乇ㄥㄥ ㄚ乇卂卄 乃尺ㄖㄒ卄乇尺

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

If she drives a '98 Pontiac Sunfire bud, there's a pretty descent chance she's gonna fuck your whole life up

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I am into this, but I want at least 1in 3 corners to be taken sideways in slo-mo.

Also, can I have whisky and an 8-ball too?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I think they mean that's for the client. I'd rather my driver not be drunk and high, cool as it may be.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Called an Uber Friday night. Dude was much more drunk than I was. I ended up having him crash on my couch.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Lmao, really? Had my fair share of weirdos, but never drunk or high. At least not that I could tell.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

I was in an uber with a friend in some Baltimore traffic when the driver almost rear-ended the car in front of us. She was distracted talking to us, I think, was telling us about her life or something.

Immediately after she slammed on the brakes, she admitted to us she was high as a kite, and then went into explaining how she hides it from her rides (uses the ozium stuff to make the smell disappear, leaving a window of time between pickups to ensure the car aired out, etc). Vaping wasn't as commonplace back then, as I think Colorado and only one other state had legalised it at that point.

But, like, damn lady... Why are you telling your two passengers this right after you almost got into a nasty wreck? We just wanted to get to the bar 😂

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I have a friend that drives Uber. Literally high every time he works. He's one of those stoners that claims he's actually a better driver when high. You absolutely don't know if the person driving you is under the influence. He vapes or does edibles, so there's no odor, and he's always wearing sunglasses.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I know I'm way less aggressive when im baked. My wife gets stressed out driving with me unless I've had a few hoots.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My driver can have a little coke sometimes, as a treat.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Coke without booze is way too speedy.

Can they at least have a Xanax or two to take the edge off?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago

"Brother, get the flamer. The heavy flamer."

"Hell yeah, brother!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 46 points 6 months ago

Crank up Kickstart my heart and drive me to the dentist!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I like how the Germans pronounce it, with the umlauts and all.

Moet-ley Cr-ewe

[–] [email protected] 43 points 6 months ago (2 children)

When we came up with the name, we didn’t even know what umlauts were. I can remember it like it was yesterday. We were drinking Löwenbräu, and when we decided to call ourselves Mötley Crüe, we put some umlauts in there because we thought it made us look European. We had no idea that it was a pronunciation thing. When we finally went to Germany, the crowds were chanting, “Mutley Cruh! Mutley Cruh! “ We couldn’t figure out why the fuck they were doing that.

-- Vince Neil

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2009/11/motley-crues-vince-neil-is-finally-bored-with-boobs

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

How does the band pronounce it?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Mot-ley crew

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

That’s great, thanks for sharing

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"Take this trail road in the wooden area its a shortcut dont worry about your balljoints and berrings"

" Hell yeah brother !"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

He didn't say he would do anything you say. Just that he'd agree with it.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Based off the Firebird owners I've seen.... he'd do it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

He'd stop and take the t-tops off first.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Everyone needs a friend like Todd sometimes

[–] [email protected] 81 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I'd book that lad any time as long as he can adapt to hollering "hell yeah sister".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Cool, I'll get the strapon!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Joke's on you, I'm into that shit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Can my wife watch?

[–] [email protected] 72 points 6 months ago (1 children)

We're all brothers on this blessed day

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago

I am all brothers on this blessed day!

[–] [email protected] 57 points 6 months ago

I am all brother on this blessed day

[–] [email protected] 49 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's okay, it's the gender-neutral of form of the word 'brother.' You know, like 'dude.'

But I'm also sure he'll accommodate your simple request as long as you're not a narc.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Lol, I actually had to google what an eight ball was, but I was already sold at whiskey. So, clearly not a narc. Also not Spez. ^^

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (2 children)

That's cool, brother. But you gotta tell him if you're a cop. That's the law he's pretty sure.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Now get Hulk Hogan before the racism to join him, brother.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Can confirm.

Source: no lies were told in the 90s