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"Farted" in a Hotel bed, while arriving with a stomach flu. Was a business trip I couldn't get out of.
Was quite embarrassing to try to wash everything in the shower, and left them a note and a tip.
Luckily it seems that deal worked out, as I still had to stay for 2-3 weeks and nobody mentioned anything.
But wasn't fun... Especially while still having a fever and the bowels doing whatever...
Twice that I recall, both while at least mildly ill. Once, in law school, I was late to class and had an assigned seat in the middle of a row, so I was not keen to draw further attention to myself, but I had a rumbly tummy and the bowel wants what it wants. Eventually, despite what felt to me like truly heroic efforts, I did in fact excuse myself, only to find that floor's bathroom was closed. going down a flight of stairs does things to your regular clenching pressure, and by the time I made it to the toilet, "slug of poo" had made its way into my boxers. Damage to the undies was surprisingly mild, but I went ahead and called it a day for the rest of my classes, as I had skipped many times for far less legitimate reasons.
The other time I was just home with the shits and didn't quite make it once. Afterwards I moved my "I'm sick" nest a lot closer to the bathroom for the rest of the day.
Been an adult for a few decades now. And, never.
Twice. Once very hungover and once with gastroenteritis. That's less than once a decade, for perspective.
Never.
I never get a chance to boast about it, but I can also proudly say that my farts are totally trustworthy, thus far through my life. You all need to hang out with a better class of farts, if you can't trust yours.
I've ulcerative colitis so in the last week probably 5-6 as I've had a flare up and was in hospital and couldn't get to the toilet in time. Plus I had frequent diarrhea.
Stomach flu
Probably a hundred.
99 of those times was when I had dysentery and had zero control over my bowels and took place over the course of like 3 days. I was literally bedridden and still having to muster the energy to get up every 5-10 minutes to shit.. and sometimes, due to pure exhaustion or surprise, I just didnt act in time.
the other time was when I had an awful stomach flu and was literally forcibly drug out of my house by family who didnt believe I was sick until I shit in their car. Then they lost their minds over that
Probably twice. Both relating to colonoscopy prepping.
A couple times over the course of adulthood. All were when I was sick and trusted a fart.
So I was feeling a bit under the weather and farted while in bed before getting up. It felt a bit wet but I ignored it. Turned out I basically shat myself and only realized after passing an interview that morning.
Nobody noticed or they just didn't mention it, I ended up getting up the job so all ended up alright (except my self esteem)
I can't imagine spending half a day not realizing that my pants were full of shit.
Based on my own research, which should not be considered scientific by any means:
Pants shitting frequency directly correlates to one's personal level of alcoholism.
every alcoholic I've ever met, none of shit themselves.
but they pissed themselves, and their beds, and their friends and familys couches and beds, and their cars..
You'll know it's coming when the wet bubbly farts start.
