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Shelter in place for a while until decomposition of their muscles makes them completely ineffectual and unable to actually move.
Shouldn't take long.
Probably just shoot myself.
I plan to go insane and live in the woods with a bone in my hair
Can we be insane hair bone pals?
Absolutely! I'll have your bone ready when you arrive
Series of tree houses, live like ewoks, no spider zombies
I'm gonna eat a lot of brains until the protagonist blows my head off with an unrealistic shotgun.
Realistic zombies: do nothing, it will pass quickly, or I will catch it too. If I don't catch it I shelter on place for a few days
Movie zombies of any kind: kill myself, I'm not delusional, that world sucks and my chances are tiny
How do realistic zombies look like?
Like corpses. And corpses don’t tend to be particularly strong or fast once they start rotting. Unless there’s some sort of magic involved to stop the decomposition process, they’ll likely all die out as they rot. The fresher zombies will take a few weeks to become inert, but that’s a blip in the radar in the grand scheme of things.
But the bigger issue then becomes what caused it. If it was something like a prion disease, (like Mad Cow Disease) then you’re likely fucked even after the zombies all rot; Prions don’t decompose, and (if the zombie outbreak was big enough) you’re almost guaranteed to catch it via dirty soil exposure (either directly, or via tainted produce that was grown where a zombie died) eventually.
My head cannon for "realistic" zombies. is Mel Brooks', the writer of 'zombie survival guide and 'world war z' (no relation to the movie or the game) esque zombies.
Max Brooks, Mel is his father. I'd expect a Mel Brooks-written Zombie guide would be a bit...different...
Thanks for the correction :) at least I was only of by 2 letters. Or only got 1/3 correct depending on your level of pessimism
Slow zombies? I'd do my very best to get back home. I moved for work so I'd do a cross country road trip to get back home. I think slow zombies would be easy to avoid if you plan and be very careful. Fast zombies on the other hand is a different story. Left 4 dead zombies? Probably die and become a boomer or a spitter.
My friends have had plans for this situation since highschool. We meet at our buddies house in the woods. We commandeer one of his neighbors tanks (his neighbor has one of the largest private collection of tanks). We take said tank (which can run off pretty much any liquid that burns) and drive it to SF where we then forcibly take control of a ferry and drive ourselves and the tank with enough supplies to sustain ourselves for at least a month on Alcatraz.
We figure by the end of the month most zombies will have decayed beyond mobility and should any other humans attempt to join us that we don't want on the island with us.... Well we have a tank.
Are you sure the ferry could take the tank?
Tanks are heavy for sure but they aren't THAT much heavier than a handful of cars. Plus if it's just for protection against zombies and other humans on foot we wouldn't need a heavily armored one.
Having the weight of 10 cars on the footprint of one can be a problem, even if the ferry can normally transport 100.
You should look out for IFVs from an airborne unit.
Unfortunately he only collects tanks.
How are you going to get the Tanks away from the neighbor? They can fight you off... They have tanks.
Oh he liked all of us. We used to help him set up his 4th of July demonstration for the neighborhood every year where he would fire a tank shell into the mountainside along with some fire works . We talked to him about our plan on more than one occasion.
Oooh okay, neighbor is in on the plan. That is a good plan!
My husband always says he will "get guns" and I'm always like, how are you gonna get the guns away from the people that already have them? You're not going to be the first to get to a gun store and you're not going to beat up the guys who have guns.
I kinda want to know how Max Brooks would have concluded World War Z now, after COVID, since it was based on theoretical data about how quickly the world would stop a pandemic, so the zombie shit only lasted a few weeks in the book.
Devouring as many brains as possible, I guess.
#teamzombie
For me that's a no-brainer.
My jaw dropped
Thanks! I love talking about this kind of stuff, even if it is really silly and never going to happen, it's fun to pretend.
The way I see it, if you’re prepared for a zombie apocalypse, you’re pretty much prepared for anything. It’s really just another way of saying “worst-case scenario.” The people who enjoy thinking about this kind of stuff are basically preppers or survivalists who just find it more engaging to plan for a zombie outbreak than something more “mundane” like an EMP, pandemic, or natural disaster.
Wall of my parents' tiny neighborhood and use it as a compound. They have major river access and there are plenty of big yards for agriculture. There's also plenty of blue collar workers to do a lot of hands-on stuff. I'd be in charge of animal husbandry since I'm really good at it. My mom would do plants.
Questions (because I have different answers based on their responses).
- How much heads up do I get
- What type of zombies, do they run or shamble? Infection or magic?
For the time based one, if you have enough of a heads up or are ahead of the panic, go north (does not apply with magic zombies). In America, get your ass to Calgary or Edmonton, for europe Helsinki. Zombies would freeze or slow down in the weather would prevent the majority from reaching your base. If those arnt options, find a location where the enviroment does most of the zombie killing for you.
If you dont have the heads up, you need to find a place to hunker down and set up a base quick. You need to pick a place you can get to without roads, and wont be on less prepared peoples high priority lists. If your in a city, get out, if your in the burbs, you got options, rural people can take their time, but also have the most work to do.
Personally, my zombie plan is to use a local 2-story school, they are designed in such a manner that they wont be broken into easily, you can secure the second story by knocking out the stairs, the field may be enclosed and they will have a nurses office, cafateria and woodshop.
All these preperations mostly apply to Infection zombies and are fine so long as they cant climb. Magic zombies are really going to be situational and surviving them will require knowing their rules. Survival is the name of the game, you cant fight the horde, so again, try and let the eviroment do that for you.
Go live in the woods and homestead with my family.
Once we start to hear about the zombie outbreak I will go door to door on my street and form a militia. Arm everyone with pike and spear to fight and practice fighting in formation. Picks and shovels to make earth barriers and spikes to slow and funnel the zombies.
Honestly? Probably die