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I will probably get a lot of flak for that but I would be tempted to say: any tattoo one can't easily remove.
Don't get me wrong, there are some wonderful tattoos out there, there is no question about that but isn't it a bit... presumptuous to think one will like a drawing or a some text inked under their skin... forever? That's the reason why I never got tattooed.
I saw a kid, like 20 at the most, walking around with his shirt off, and on the top of his back was the name of a removals company and a mobile number. Not particularly well done, and I’d bet it wasn’t even his company
I know a guy who got Abe Simpson crawling out of his butt crack.
Meh, that is more funny than dumb, it is normally hidden under clothes.
You win
I have a line tattooed on my leg, I lived with a guy who had a tattoo setup, one day I was home alone, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaalllly fuckin drunk and stoned, so I decided to tattoo myself, did a little nirvana face thing, then, while I had the tattoo gun in my hand, resting on my leg, I passed out, my foot pressed the pedal and I tattooed a thick line in my leg, woke up as second after and just left it.
I only ever tattooed myself when I was kind of drunk from then on.
How squiggly is the line?
Edit: I just noticed it kinda looks like the "Do something" meme character.
Straight like Freddie Mercury
I once shared a hospital room with two old geezers after surgery, and one of them had a visit from their grandson. The dude had Nazi tattoos all over his face, swastikas, SS lighting bolts, 88's, the iron cross, the whole collection.
When the Nazi loser left, the old guy complained to us others in the room: "Lovely kid that... Such a shame he cannot get a job. I cannot understand why! Such a decent boy, has a forklift drivers license and everything!"
So yeah, in total that might have been the densest occurrence of idiocy I have ever witnessed.
I have heard that gangs and cults sometimes use facial tattoos to ostracize their members from society at large and prevent them from forming an external support network.
I came across a Twitch streamer with his username tattooed across his knuckles in Norse Runes, except it was spelled wrong. He had ᚦ (Th) in place of ᚲ (K or C) which is far from similar in pronunciation. A quick Google search of the wiki page for Norse Runes could have avoided this issue too.
This is hardly the dumbest one originally but I worked construction in high school and college. One old dude had gotten “RESPECT” tattooed on his abs in his youth. By the time I met him, he had a beer belly and had had some injuries and surgeries. It was just a completely different font/message.
By contrast, the best tattoo I’ve seen is a friend who is a musician. She has musical notes tattooed behind her ears. You wouldn’t even know if she did her hair a certain way (for a job interview or something) but when she was ready to party, the musical notes were on display.
I also knew a guy who was an artist who had an amazing sleeve. He obviously cared about the artistic aspect; he literally flew to Japan multiple times to have it done because he cared that much about being a canvas for the specific artist he chose. That was the most impressive. I like the subtlety of the music notes but I’m not against going all out. It’s really the middle-ground — like a drunk tattoo that meant something at the time — where people regret it later.
Have a cousin with a Budweiser logo on her lower back ala "tramp stamp".
Honestly, I think it's cringe to have any logo or IP on your body.
I have a distant relative with a traffic light tattooed in the middle of his forehead, just a black rectangle with red, yellow, and green circles.
And on either side he has some graffiti style writing that I'm pretty sure says "con man"
I became aware of him because we share a fairly uncommon last name, and one day police came to my house grasping at straws looking for this guy because he had been breaking into cars, so the basically went to the first person with the same last name they could find to see if we knew where he was.
It was the first time I'd heard of him, we're not at all close with the extended family. Eventually I looked him up and found his social media with those stupid tattoos.
I have a distant relative with a traffic light tattooed in the middle of his forehead, just a black rectangle with red, yellow, and green circles.
Are any of the lights on?
All 3 of them, but no one's home
He's got a few other stupid tattoos. He's got some more words tattooed above the stoplight in sort of a fancy script, but I can't really make them out because he's always wearing a hat. Some knuckle tattoos I can't make out because in all his pictures he's either holding a 40 of old English or flipping off the camera (or both) so his hands are always contorted weirdly, a few words that he probably thought sounded tough, some symbols I don't recognize, and a crucifix on one arm and a devil holding a cross on the other that might be actually kind of well-done but I don't have a great eye for tattoos.
He's a shrimpy white guy with a patchy beard, who grew up in what passes for the ghetto in an otherwise pretty nice suburban area (not to sell it short, it is a pretty shitty town, once in a while it manages to crack some "Top X Most Dangerous Cities in state/country" sort of article, but compared to the "bad neighborhoods" in pretty much any major city it's nothing)
I could go on for quite a while about him and the rest of that branch of the family, and all the dumb bullshit they've done even though I've never met most of them, their reputation far precedes them. All through grade school the prevailing advice from my parents was "if anyone asks if you know/are related to any other [our last name]s, just say 'no'" and that's always served me well.
None of his profiles seem to have been updated in about 10 years, so with any luck he's locked up somewhere, or maybe dead. Or maybe he had just enough sense to stop broadcasting his dumbassery out onto the open internet.
I mean, there's definitely gonna be worse out there, but I once saw a tattoo on an online post, of presumably their date of birth in roman numerals.
Problem is, there was only one "M", so it looked something like: IV/X/MCXCIV
But I figured, alright, let's not assume things, maybe they're a history buff and something cool happened on that day in 1194.
But if I remember correctly, I found some list of all Wikipedia articles for specific dates and that day did not have an article, because nothing noteworthy had happened.
So, yeah, I guess we do have to assume that they are in fact a vampire.
I'm getting Elmer Fudd on my ass this Monday, so, um, that.
Please tell me that he's gonna be pointing his gun where I think he's going to. As if he's expecting Bugs to pop out.
Mr. Cool ICE 💀
You take that back
A guy at my work got promoted to manager and celebrated by tattooing the company logo onto his chest. Pretty much everyone had to hold back laughing when he showed it off.
That’s wild… hair
Ironic, considering back pieces like this are usually the result of drugs and/or alcohol.
A huge 3 leaf clover on the side of a dude's neck, solid filled in green of course. Not to mention the other random tattoos on his face and stuff, but seriously, a 3 leaf clover? Why not a 4 leaf?...
The 3-leaf clover has religious/national significance in Ireland—there’s a legend about St. Patrick using it to demonstrate the unity of the Christian trinity.
It's a shamrock ☘️.
Interesting. I'll tell ya what though, he was anything but a Christian, nor were his brothers.
Maybe his great great great great cousin once removed was Irish or something.
TIL
I saw this one kid, with a tattoo of a butt on his butt. He kept pulling his shirt up over his head. He said he was from lake titicaca. That boy wasn’t right.
Some nazi shit
