Ask Lemmy

Recently retired from a place that makes rocket engines, and there's just so much. Start with a rocket engine itself - the combustion gasses are like 3300 C (6000 F) with more than 400,000 lb of thrust. But there's a lot associated. We dealt with lots of liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen. We have a giant braze oven that we can put a whole rocket nozzle into. It's quite an arsenal.

The autopsy saw. It's a gleaming monstrosity of stainless steel designed to part human flesh like Moses parted the red sea. You can stack zombies as deep as you want, the saw won't even slow down. The only thing that will stop it is the length of the mechanical arm it hangs from, because it's unfortunately too heavy for most people to lift.

The contents of the fridge

I'm unemployed rn so uh, some dab wax?

I work in a hospital so: scalpels, oxygen bottles/ wall supply explosions (hard to do without disabling the safety's which I don't know how to do), plenty of radiation sources in the building, loads of dangerous drugs from sedatives to painkillers to chemotherapy. If I'm lucky the monster might just die of MRSA or pneumonia before they get to me.

The printing press. The monster's blood would be spread out over 70000 newspapers.

From what I've seen, airplane crashes can be pretty fatal!

I work at a tool store and often fantasize about a zombie apocalypse or something starting while I'm at work. Should fit this situation, so let's go! If it happens in... Aisle 1: dual wielding a drill and heatgun Aisle 2: dual wielding circular saw and angle grinder Aisle 3: put on safety goggles, strangle them with AirTool hoses Aisle 4: dual wielding air nailers! Aisle 5: giant wrench Aisle 6: screwdriver to the face Aisle 7: steel automotive jack handles Aisle 8: wench snare traps everywhere Aisle 9: pickaxe Aisle 10: generator fumes Aisle 11: tumbling tower of tires Back wall: hammers!

There is usually an alligator or two (or three, or..) in the pond by my work. They definitely get big enough to kill a villain before anyone bothers calling to have them relocated.

I work in a restaurant, so... garlic?

I could mistranslate an MRI manual and they could fry themselves to death?

A server rack full of servers, dropped on the monster like a cartoon piano.

School supplies can be pretty dangerous when used incorrectly. :3

Suffering through eight straight hours of „business alignment workshops“.

I would print out the code and Rube Goldbergian series of database triggers that run some of our internal apps; to the untrained mind, it would probably have an effect similar to looking into Medusa's eyes.

Crushing depression.

Although that’s not really for my job since I don’t have one.

Carpal tunnel slasher can't hold a knife

How many painkillers does it take to kill someone? I reckon we have enough for that at work

There’s a kid I work with that is going to end up stabbing me with a pencil. He’s gotten pretty close a few times.

The lab closet when I was teaching science might have worked. The stuff you let kids work with is as close to water as you can make it, but the stuff for demos could easily take out a Jason or a Freddy.

Client feedback.

Well, I work with IT, Ships, and industrial robotics, so I'm thinking that the villain gets maimed by a robot controlled by a perl script to the point where he is unable to prevent his ship from sinking.

EDIT: Oh, and don't gets me started on the seismic source: 4000 cubic inches of compressed air at 2000psi. Seismic sources are scary. In water ut will turn anyone in yhe water into jell-o. I've coordinated these with simultaneous diving ops, and the divers usually call us to stop if they're within 3-4 kilometers.