Isn't the onion supposed to be satire?
this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
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Gotta make sure ol' 2-scoops gets the biggest basket.
Low IQ Resident President unnecessarily insults some of the most vulnerable amongst us —does it matter whether it’s true??? He’s done it every waking hour of every day of his pathetic existence
The secret service had to help.
(Some of the kids were killed, some deported, rip.)
Like a true winner, he had secret service agents knock over the other kids and steal the candy in their baskets. Their parents are now in a gulag in Siberia, and the kids are on a prison work detail in a coal mine. Take that, losers.
Gulag has no record of parents. Maybe on Ukraine front?
I tried fact checking this but I remember Trump telling me this once at our sleepovers back when he was on the apprentice and I had a mid-sized Greek bakery on 45th street in Manhattan. He’d come in sometimes but never ordered anything. He said he liked the smell in there.
Did you need him for the mushroom soup?
Obviously fake news! Trump couldn't be assed to run around grabbing eggs on the lawn, that sounds way more strenuous than golf.
Totally unrealistic... he would have just taken the baskets from the kids, then sent them to an El Salvador death camp.
for good measure he takes out all the candy, and throw 1 or 2 empty eggs as a sign of good faith.
I totally ate this onion.
Don't worry me too.
The other holiday it shares probably doesn't help
I read this while currently celebrating... Easter. Yeah, that's it.
Same
I was ready to believe this was real
Haha! Well worth a read, lol!
I'd like to see him try to bend over to pick something up.
first of all it wont happen, he would steal the basket with eggs and leave with it.
He'd just make one of his sycophants do it for him, then take credit about how he's the "greatest egg hunter the world has seen, maybe ever!".
Oh, I have no doubt he's privately had to use one of these for at least the last 20 years:
NGL I use one of these all the time, they’re great
i doubt he has the strength and grip to use that.
He has to use the kids version since his hands are so little.
