And I thought my language had something unique. Turns out, saying "even from a sack full of pussies he would pull out a dick" to an unlucky person isn't that unique to us.
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2024
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I grew up 5 mins from West Virginia. The hillbillies were always saying wild shit like this lmao
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When your car runs like ass: sounds like Satan spray-shitting hammers and nails into a sheet metal toilet
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"you look like 5 pounds of shit in a whore's lunchbox"
But... They don't carry lunchbo— Oh.
"like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" in reference to watching your ass.
I feel like this could work for so many things. Like a nails on a chalkboard noise, or a bull in a China shop situation. A bull made of nails amd teeth.
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I had a guy tell me once that his boss was so mad that was, "gonna shit down one leg and kick it off with the other." He was perplexed at my laughter.
I do like "that could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon" in reference to a bad smell.
I'm from the south and I've only ever heard it as "that could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon at twenty paces" in case you were missing the end of it.
I've never heard that part but it makes more sense.
"the road was slicker than cum on a gold tooth"
From Southern wrestling legend Jim Cornette
I was bewildered regarding shitshow at work and said, "it's like going around your butthole to get to your elbow" -- the californian and the Canadian had apparently never heard this phrase before. I realized then it was a southernism 😂
Y'all gotta check out this artist "lilbubbychild". He creates these incredible animations of southernisms. As a lifelong southerner, I can attest that most of these have been said by someone in my life.
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"colder than a witches tittie in a brass bra"
Asking friends if they could carve my initials into my glasses when they get pokies from cold weather is the best. No matter their gender lol.
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My southern friend says "It's hotter than the hammered down hinges of hell", which I just love.
Went back home after like a decade and ran into my dad's old boss from when I was a kid. His southern drawl was pronounced and nasal like a side character in an old western, "Well I ain't seen you in a coon's age!
Fur others that become curious, captive raccoon life expectancy in the wild is 3.1 years. But, have been known to live up to 20 years in captivity.
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My favorite is when it's raining "...like a cow pissing on a flat rock."
I've always heard it said "raining like a tall cow peeing on a flat rock"
They are descended from Scots-Irish immigrants, many of whom came over as indentured servants. Of course they have poetic souls.
My dad has a lot from growing up in a small farming community in Kansas:
“Shakin like a dog shittin prune seeds.”
“I gotta piss like a race horse.”
“So dumb you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.”
We have variants of those in northern England too. Shaking like a shitting dog and pissing like a police horse.
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"Shaking like a dog shitting razor blades" is the opening of an alkaline trio song. They're out of Chicago, so I don't think this is local to small town Kansas. Also I'm from Texas and piss like a racehorse was fairly common.
Was going to say the same! Although I like Hot Water Music’s cover Radio a bit more than the original.
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My favourite is the (apparently) Australian saying "I'm so hungry a could eat the ass off a low flying duck"
I have always enjoyed "I could eat the north end of a south bound skunk"
Aussie slang is weapons grade language. They're not here to fuck spiders
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One of my favorites:
"It's hotter out here than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire"
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