Ask Lemmy

Thank you.

Like "choose to be happy" isn't a magical mantra but something you need to work on in order to change the way you reflexively think.

"Be yourself" is essential advice for people trying to have a mask on 24/7.

And I've mostly given up replying to such threads because they're usually an excuse to wallow and complain that they've tried everything.

I don't have a magic potion that makes things better overnight, but I do have techniques that I have found valuable in improving my own mental health, but by bit, over several years.

Came here to say that.

The one that's even worse is "God never gives you more than you can handle." Tell that to a bajillion dead people.

It also tries to remove accountability from people who really do not care to pay attention to what they're doing. They'll be in shit and they'll think "ahh this is what God might have had planned for me" and instead of trying to fight to survive, they just succumb to it with that belief.

Religion is just bad to believe in.

"Promise me you won't be upset."

I am not promising shit until you tell me what we're talking about. In fact, you just got me upset.

However, "don't panic" wouldn't get a better reaction from me. If you want me to not panic, tell me you've already dealt with it and there's nothing for me to do, or at the very least describe your plan. I'll decide whether panic is warranted after I hear your solution.

Another bad one:

"We need to talk when you get here."

If we're not going to talk about it now, why not wait to bring it up until I'm there?

I loved the thanksimcured subreddit because they just mock this kind of thing.

Depression is a recurring thing, it comes back at anytime and it will level you when it does. What people who ever claim to have "defeated" depression or "overcome it" are simply confusing depression with general sadness. General sadness can easily be overcome because it isn't as much of a weight on you as depression is.

But then you say something like that and some asshole comes right up to you saying shit like "now you're just gatekeeping what a mental illness is!".

Fucking Reddit dumbasses are a piece of work.

The only actual advice I can think of that relates is refusing to be involved with people who make you unhappy (which I realize so much of requires choice and resources to island yourself off in this way).

Its still something to keep in mind, if you can insulate yourself from people you've noticr make you unhappy and overstimulated, that is a very different state of being even saying nothing about whatever "happiness" is. I think you can still like or love someone who you also cannot emotionally and ohysically tolerate being around, but sooner or later you have to listen to what your being tries to tell you or somatically express

If I had to choose between happiness or freedom from pain, I would choose the latter every time. Happiness can be stumbled upon or negotiated or gradually arriver at, pain needs to be alleviated or it cancels out everything else

"I was lucky and my brain chemistry corrected itself, so all you need to do is stop being unlucky and be lucky like me!"

While we're at it, if you can't reach the top shelf, just grow taller. That's what I did.