Jesus Christ, that'll be gruesome...
this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.
Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.
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Cat.
Derogatory slur
In a squeezer
Can't say that I know, but I shall be avenged.
Working in a server system and it falls on me, if there's a afterlife I'll see the name of system was named "zee"
I've played enough roguelikes I'm primed to expect an excruciatingly detailed accounting of my own death now. Unfortunately, that's not mentioned in any religion.
Oh, no, Timmy fell down the well again!
Being the boss
Burned at the stake, hanged, crushed, or drowned. Plenty of options.
Napping with a kat?
exit 0
alone and unknown :')
Heart attack while Internet browsing from my favorite location
My nemesis showed up.
oh oh... I'm in danger.
To flick snot, you gotta pick your nose.
Let's just say I delved too geedily and too deep and started brain pickin'.
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Ouch...
I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast
Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition
Not at all I guess?
A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.
Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.
"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."
Just broke.
A sloth, so I'm sure it will be a slow death.
That's a good question...
An epic duel. Maybe somebody loses a hand, idk
Raptured by the One True Dog
Too much taco bell
Mauled, eaten or crushed to death
... or cuteness overload
Furiously stroking my willy.
I’ve still got some time, but now I’m afraid… very afraid
I'm already gone...
I guess I'll be rebooted by Mindy until I'm too powerful for the universe... or my windchimes fall off.
Beheaded by the monarch of shitty vehicles.
Killed by giant snake.
Hatchet + cannibalism seems likely
Someone wants me dead
Yes, please. 52 years old, and dying after one super night.
Tree fall maybe?
In the dark.
I die from too much excitement while playing Bonestorm?
Jaywalking.
quickly
by having a magic spell cast on me I guess
A human centipede but made of weasels