Ask Lemmy

There are a surprising number of people who have indicated that they would use their baguette summoning powers to carry out assassinations. Here's me thinking "damn I could honestly help out in countries that are struggling, with this power" like the simpleton I am.

Can I summon the baguette out of the thin air inside someone's lungs? Cos that's basicly a free kill anyone wherever, whenever. U can rule the wold with that power.

I contact every James Randi-type paranormal debunker that I can find and explain my power to them. I agree to all of their terms and agree to demonstrate it to them under whatever tightly controlled absolutely perfectly sterile conditions they want.

And I do it for them, claim my prize money, and continue on with my life.

My power is to summon a baguette, not unlimited baguettes, so I gotta make that one count and I think that's my best to get the most bang for my buck.

Or if I get to decide where exactly that baguette is summoned to, perhaps I will have it spring into existence occupying the same space as [REDACTED]'s brain stem. Having them out of the picture would greatly enrich my life.

Pass myself off as Jesus Christ

Oh that's easy: sell it at an outrageous price in upscale North American restaurants as authentic "pain Francais".

Croutons! I start up a crouton factory!

.... I'd summon a few billion directly overlapping the physical space of a corrupt politician. If outdoors, in a tall column directly above, preferably several tons worth per capita.

Some choice people from this list I have would also receive a suborbital baguette infusion.

The downside is trying to deal with the stale fallout and subsequent mess the pummeled flesh and dough would leave after... Birds everywhere would go nuts.

Have you seen the per pound price of croutons?

Could probably launch my own line of bagel chips (or bagel crisps), I'd never need to buy the main ingredient.

Slice it. Toast it. Add toppings. Endless tapas.

I say "this is for the birds"... and I give unlimited free bread to the birds outside.

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.

The lambs have laid down with the sheep.

You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.

Please don’t the fuck go blind by making moonshine with your daily staley.

Slightly stale? It does sounds like i can steam it back up and then use it to do other recipe. Make Garlic bread with it is great, or cube it then bake it until crunchy, then toss it into mushroom soup as topping.

Burn the baguettes to boil water that spins a turbine that generates electricity.