this post was submitted on 14 May 2025
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What's the vegan version of egging a reactionary mf?
Tomatoes are a classic.
Rotten mango can make a splash
rotten tomatoes are a classic.
Throw a bag of frozen beans at them
With a sling or a slingshot
I know this is a bit off-topic, but any time the sling as a weapon is mentioned, I'm compelled to extend the knowledge that, during the Spanish civil war, on the republican side (which had severe shortages due to the lack of international intervention against fascists except for the USSR), there were herders slinging fucking hand grenades with their sling, and it's the coolest thing I've ever heard.
Are hand-grenades vegan?
Load them into a blunderbuss and fire it like it's grapeshot.
Why not both?
No, you put them in a sock and swing it like a flail
That's for when you close distance and get in melee range. Up till that point I'm flicking my bean in the enemy's general direction
oh dear
brick
If you want the runny/drippy sort of effect, tomatoes (especially overripe ones) can do a decent job.
Throwing rocks at them
Bunya nut cannon
Flax eggs
But we can freeze them first so they're hard